letters lament

Dear Society: Sex

Well, by the title, you're probably expecting a strange letter, right? Actually, this is going to be a weird one, and it'll be pretty literal and frank. When it comes to sex and bodies in general, I honestly don't care. The whole getting naked in front of someone doesn't really phase me, unless I think of what they'd think. 

Let me rephrase that, and add society into the mix. 

Alright, so I love my friends. I'm the type of girl who gets completely and utterly close to her friends. Sure, I only have around five solid, best friends that I think will be life long. I'm an open book, and once someone gets close to me, I trust them. I tell them a lot of stories, and a lot of secrets, and we talk for hours and hours and just understand each other. With that, we're comfortable. So getting naked in front of each other shouldn't be a problem, right? 

Wow, I'm bad at this whole phrasing stuff, aren't I. 

Well, society seems to think that displays of affection with your friends, or taking your shirt off to change around your friends, automatically means you're gay or sexually involved with that person, depending on the genders and so on. It pisses me off. That's supposed to be the first part of this letter. 

Basically, just because you're comfortable with someone, doesn't mean you're fucking them. Honestly, overweight as I am, I don't care if my friends see my stomach. I really don't care. I don't care if they see my boobs, or my ass, and I don't even care if I skinny dip with them, because I know that they won't analyze my goods and go hunting. It's called being comfortable with people.

Society always twists and turns it.

For example, I tell my friends I love them, because I have this sort of rule, or fear. I've had this fear since I was younger and my dad had a sudden heart attack, which he recovered from, and now it just stuck with me. Before someone leaves your house or leaves you or hangs up the phone or even a text, I tell them I love them, and I mean it, because what if that's the last time? What if that last text is the last text they see before they die? "I love you" is a lot more meaningful than "ok", and when someone leaves your house or leaves from hanging out, what if it's the last time you see them? I always hug my friends, really long if I can, and put my face in the crook of their neck and say I love you. It's sappy and weird and too intimate for public maybe, but I really couldn't care less, because what if it's the last time. 

Alright, so that's actually not the point. My point was, because of that example, I have a ton of people call me a lesbian. Now, let me make something clear. Yeah, I'm straight. Yes, I love my girlfriends. No, I don't desire them, but what's the problem if I do? What would be wrong with that, society? Shut the fuck up and put your head up your homophobic ass, it's the 21st century. 

Hm, that was nice. Lesson two is about sex, and how much it's turned into a bad symbol; something that's wrong. 

Let's see. You're fifteen, and you like a guy. You go on one date, and he takes you to your room, and you fuck. 

There's something wrong with that picture. 

You fuck. You have sex. 

Here's my question: where's the making love? 

Number one, fifteen is too young for anything like that, according to society, but that's just a moral thing. I think we can all agree that fifteen is just a tad too young for losing your virginity, but hey, nobody's perfect. I'm fifteen, and I haven't done anything close to that, never even truly kissed a guy, so I can't really say for certain if it's too young from experience, but that's just the stereotype. Sixteen, meh. Seventeen or eighteen seems to be the age that people lose it, right? They find this guy or girl in senior year and just completely fall in love, or they find someone in the first years of college, and boom. Bedroom. 

I'm not really sure where I was going with this... maybe it's the fact that in society, there's not a lot of awareness and not enough hopeless romantics? Aha, yes. 

One of the main reasons that teens are getting pregnant and losing their virginity so early? They're too curious. Parents need to stop sheltering their kids, and there needs to be sex ed in middle school, or earlier. I know that might sound crazy, but kids are freaking curious. 

Alright, this is a paragraph for girls, because I'm going to talk about my experience in 5th grade with getting everything all the other girls didn't get until 7th grade, at least. Boobs, wider hips, and blood in my underwear. Yikes. Now I got my period in the beginning of 5th grade, before that little puberty talk they do usually in May. I was clueless, and it was the scariest bathroom moment of my life. I thought I was going to die, and I stuffed a bunch of paper towels in my pants and took my teacher aside, pretty much crying during recess. She actually laughed at me and told me I was dying, and it was a strange moment.

Basically, a week after that happened, my mom gave me the sex talk. She didn't just give me the usual talk, she explained everything. She told me about condoms and how you need to use them when you have sex, and about birth control and how sex sort of worked. It was a sort of creepy conversation, but if you ever meet my mother, her and I are probably the bluntest people you'll ever meet. She even told me about how gay and lesbian sex worked, and I'll be honest, I was grossed out every time she talked about that sort of stuff: the what goes in the what? It explained everything to me though, and that made me a lot less curious. I wasn't in to the 7th graders talking about how "heated" everything was getting by the lockers. It just didn't interest me. 

Society, you created that. Kids need to be informed. 

Now, off to hopeless romantics. I pride myself to be one, because I'm in love with love. I'm not desperate, but one day I just want a guy that's perfect for me, cliche as it sounds. I want someone to be an idiot with. In our society, you don't see a whole lot of that anymore, do you? It's all physical, it's all about sex. Never making love: I wish people would get those straight. There's the physical aspect, where it's just sex. Then there's the real thing: making love. 

I don't know, that was confusing. Oh well. 

Society, that's what was on my mind. Thanks for listening, I guess. 

-Hopelessly Jaded