Eyes Wide Shut

Chapter 2

Italics are flashbacks

The blend of lights created a haze in the club, blurring my vision. It didn’t help considering I had already had one too many drinks and could barely see straight anyways. Vanessa was dancing on top of the bar, sandwiched between two random guys. Una and Rochelle were lounging in the booth with their husbands. Wayne was away for some football thing. There I was, just casually dancing by myself in the middle of the club, suddenly feeling alone. Where was Mollie? She had been running around like a little puppy all night, so naturally, I was bound to lose her at some point. I searched the crowd, desperately trying to spot her blonde hair within the sea of people.

            “Frankieeeee,” Mollie screeched and I was suddenly in her embrace, hugging me as if she has not seen me in years. It was clear Mollie had one too many, which was strange considering she never got this intoxicated, nor did she ever drink. She needed a night out though. David and her had been having problems and it was wearing on her. We had spent numerous nights on the tour bus where her head was buried into my chest as she cried herself to sleep.

            “We’re playing Wembley tomorrow!” She yelled as she pulled back. She jumped up and down. “Can you believe it, Frankenstein?! Wembley!”

            Mollie was so cute, I could not help, but laugh. The last time we had been at Wembley was when we supported Girls Aloud. It was crazy to us that we were now headlining at this prolific venue.

            She grabbed my hand, her touch sending strange tingles throughout my entire body. Something about Mollie was comforting to me. Whenever she was around, I felt like nothing could touch me; or touch us for that matter. Together, we bounced around in excitement, our hands locked together. Her vivacious hair tossed and turned as she continued to enjoy the moment. She wore a smile that went on for days; a smile that defined her. Her piercing blue eyes connected with mine. She lifted my arm up, spun me around and pulled me into her.

            “Wembley, baby!” Mollie exclaimed as she pulled my face to hers, placing a miniscule distance between us. I smiled at her drunk, silly behavior. Before I had time to react, her lips were on mine. Her warm, electric touch sending me into shock.

            “Woooooo!” She screamed as she released me from her touch.

***

            “Where are you?” the text read. I shoved the phone back into my bag as the memory raced through my mind. Why did she kiss me? Why did I kiss her back? I stopped myself right there. “It was nothing, Frankie,” I kept telling myself. But it wasn’t.

            I walked down the hallway, the bright, illuminscent lights leading me to the back entrance where the busses were waiting. I greeted a few fans and made my way to the bus.

            “There you are!” Una cried out as I got on to the bus. There was an aroma of tea that wafted through the cabin. All of the girls were sitting sporatically on the couches, sprawled out in their pajamas, watching a rerun of Geordie Shore. It only took me two seconds to spot Mollie. Her hands wrapped tightly around her mug and her legs bunched up to her chest. And her eyes darted in my direction. A warm, gracious smile crossed her face. I smiled back.

            “We thought we’d just have a girl’s night in instead tonight,” Una stated, her baby bump peaking out from underneath her blanket. This was probably a good idea. We always felt bad going out for drinks when Una would just have to sit there and watch or just not go at all.

            “Not my idea,” Vanessa said under her breath as she took a sip of her wine.

            “You alright, Frank?” Mollie asked, staring at me intently. She always knew when something was wrong and no matter how hard I tried to lie about it, she would always get it out of me.

            “She’s just missing Wayney,” Rochelle announced.

            “Aw, Frankie,” Una sympathetically said.

            “I’ll be fine, but I think I’m going to call it a night,” I cautiously muttered, careful not to make eye contact with any of the girls.

            “Frank, it’s our last night together,” Vanessa stated.

            “Yeah, babe. Hang out for a bit,” Rochelle retorted. My eyes looked around the room to find four other pairs of eyes full of disappointment.

            “I know, I’m just exhausted though.”

            The girls didn’t say anything. I could tell they were let down, but I knew they wouldn’t argue with a girl who was just clinically diagnosed with depression.

            “Night, guys,” I said as I made my way to the back of the bus.

            “Night.”

            “Night, Frank.”

            I set my stuff aside and climbed into my bunk; my eye lids heavy. I was exhausted that’s for sure. The physical demand from the tour was one thing. Sound check after sound check, meet and greets, and the show in general, but I loved every minute of it. The emotional exhaustion, however, had taken its toll. Sure I missed Wayne, but that was only part of it. My mind could not sit still. Thinking about the night before…. and all the other nights where we just blamed it on the alcohol. The first few times were fun, just simple little kisses. But then little pecks turned into making out on the dance floor, and makeouts on the dance floor led to sleepovers where we let our alcohol infused bodies warm up to each other. We never got THAT far. The next morning we would act lie nothing happened, just like this morning, always consumed with guilt; a feeling that has yet to subside. Was this cheating? I questioned it all the time. But here I am, laying in my bed, yearning for her to come make it better.