Eyes Wide Shut

Chapter 18

“Why did you wait so long to tell me?” I softly ask as I pull her soft, blonde hair off of her face to let it fall down her back.

            “You knew?” As she turns slightly so she can see me behind her.

I press a light kiss to the back of her shoulder and she giggles at the touch.

            “Molls, sometimes I think I know you better than you know yourself.”

I continue playing with her hair, eventually winding it into a tiny braid. I notice how shaky her breath is and I am surprisingly calm and steady.

            “I guess that’s true,” and she smiles a bit, “I don’t know, I guess I was scared. I knew you still loved Wayne and maybe you still do…”

            And I wince at the statement, because a part of me still does and always will love Wayne. But that’s in the past and he will never be apart of my life like he used to be. She turns herself completely around so now she is facing me, sitting with her legs crossed. She grabs my hands.

            “You know me. I don’t do well with uncertainty. And with the depression bit. I didn’t want to make things worse for you when you were going through that.”

            “But that’s what I needed, Molls. I needed to know that someone I love and care about, loved me back, in the same way.”

            She looks at me with confusion.

            “Mollie…” I lower my eyes before I speak again, “I’ve loved you since we first got together. And even though I loved Wayne, I loved you too.”

            “Really?”

            I nod. It was true. Mollie and I had always been the closest of friends in the band from the very start and I had always loved her as a person and as my best friend, but it wasn’t until we did… what we did, that I fell in love with her.

            “That night, at the club, with Adam…” She starts.

            “Was when I fell for you,” I finish.

            She smiles and she looks down, looking as if she was pondering on her next thought. She looks hesitant, like she wanted to say something but she just couldn’t quite get it out.

            “Molls?”

            “Why do you think David did it?”

            I was thrown off by the question and I wasn’t sure how to answer. But no more lies. I would tell her the truth.

            “You… me…”

            “I think a part of him always knew,” and she’s silent after she speaks.

            I can’t look at her, scared she might be angry or sad.

            “I mean, he sometimes would bring it up, but we never-”

            “That still did not give him any right to do what he did. We… you, never took anything further emotionally.”

            “Of course I didn’t. I still loved him.”

            “And he’s still an asshole,” and she lets out a loud laugh and I follow with a bit of laughter myself.

            “It’s good to hear you laugh again,” she whispers.