Among the Stars [Frerard]

Chapter 4: I'm Fine

Gerard and Frank were sat on the sofa. Making random, irrelevant comments about the movie playing in front of them. Frank was barely concentrating on the movie. 

His mind was driving him insane. He had felt okay the last few days but now the floodgates had been opened. He felt anxious and scared and sad and just done. He sat almost completely still, digging his nails into his own flesh, making irritated red marks appear on his skin. 

He needed to feel something, to distract himself from his own thoughts.

"I'll be right back." Frank mumbled, barely audible over the movie.

Gerard had noticed how distracted Frank was but he had thought nothing of it. At least that was until he heard sobbing coming from the bathroom. Gerard got up quickly and practically ran to the bathroom. He hated it when Frank was upset. He knew how often Frank was upset, he could see it, but he knew that he couldn't help him if  he didn't even have a clue as to what was going on.

Gerard knocked on the door "Frankie is it okay if I come in?" 

"N-no I don't want yo-u to see me like t-this." 

"Frankie, it's okay don't worry I won't judge you, just please let me in. I can't help you if you don't let me in." 

The lock clicked, unlocking the door and letting the older boy inside. Gerard was met with this beautiful boy curled up in the corner, his knees pulled tightly to his chest. Sobs were wracking through his body and he was visibly shaking. 

"Oh Frankie.." Gerard cooed and walked over to Frank, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him to his chest. Frank started crying even harder. 

"Shhh just focus on your breathing, it's all going to be okay, I promise you." Gerard let his fingers roam through Franks unruly hair. To Frank it was a soothing feeling, almost therapeutic.

As soon as Gerard was sure that Frank had calmed down and allowed him some time to recollect himself, he thought it would be best to ask what was wrong. Gerard lifted Franks head up, which was rested against his chest, Frank had been listening to Gerards heartbeat. 

"I'm so sorry, I ruined the movie, I'm so sorry. I'm fine, so can we just forget about this completely? Please? This was stupid. I'm so stupid, I'm sorry." Frank chocked out, his voice felt hoarse and strained from all the crying.

"No, Frankie we can't forget about it. And don't apologise, it's just a movie, you're much more important than that. Because I don't care about the movie. I care about you."

Frank simply shook his head in disagreement. No one really cared, he was just saying that. He didn't mean that. Frank didn't matter. He was just another fucked up teen that no one gave a shit about. Gerard was about to say something in protest to Franks disagreement but he spoke before him. 

"I'm just really tired.. I'll go to sleep," Frank said meeting Gerards eyes with his bloodshot ones. He just wanted to forget this had ever happened. He was weak and pathetic and now Gerard had seen that.

Gerard sighed, it was obvious Frank was avoiding the confrontation as to why he had broken down. But he gave in, not questioning Frank further. He genuinely looked exhausted.

"You can sleep in my bed, I don't mind," Frank didn't protest and slid under the covers as Gerard climbed in with him. Frank immediately snuggled into him and Gerard put an arm around his waist. As Frank was drifting of into sleep Gerard kissed his forehead and mumbled something under his breath. Franks heart skipped a beat, and he cursed himself for not having better hearing.

Frank awoke in bed, Gerard's bed to be exact. Earlier he had felt so safe and happy and just comfortable. But now there was something missing. And that something was, of course, Gerard, - he was no longer in bed by his side.

He rubbed his eyes and pulled out his phone, it was 6pm. It had only been a couple of hours since they had fell asleep. 

Frank started remembering what had occurred earlier that day, he hated himself for it. He felt pathetic and weak. He never wanted Gerard to see him as this fragile, broken boy. But he supposed it was too late for that, he had already fucked up.

Although that didn't stop him from being anxious, he wondered what Gerard would think of him now. Would he hate him for being so weak? He was so nice and understanding earlier, but he knew how he would react after having some time to think about it.

The aroma of coffee had drifted to the bedroom and it coaxed Frank enough that he got up and headed to the kitchen. And there was Gerard, making coffee. His hair was completely messed up and sticking up at odd angles. Frank allowed himself smile slightly at the beautiful sight in front of him.

Gerard turned around noticing the shorter boys presence.

"Hey sleepy-head, you doing okay?"

Frank mumbled a response, he didn't have the energy for this right now, "yeah I'm alright, don't worry 'bout it." 

"How am I not supposed to worry I mean earlier-" Gerard snapped slightly but was interrupted, by Frank.

"So you making coffee?" he questioned.

"Duh," Gerard chuckled. 

The coffee was now ready and Frank went over to the counter grabbing one of the steaming hot mugs. He quickly walked out the kitchen as a pretty terrible attempt to escape any further questions about his current mental stability. Or lack of.

The truth was that he didn't want Gerard to know this side of him. Maybe he would treat him differently and walk on egg shells around him, or possibly even stop talking to him because, really, who wants to be friends with the psycho?