Among the Stars [Frerard]

Chapter 17: He's Okay Now, Right?

Gerard went home a couple hours after Frank had calmed down and fallen asleep. He really didn't know how to help his boyfriend. He hated seeing him so broken and hopeless. No one deserved to suffer in that way, especially not Frank. Frank is sweet and caring but these thoughts seem to drown him. Erasing all trace of him actually being a living, breathing person. Frank is broken. And Gerard wanted nothing more than to fix him. But he had no idea how he could go about it. 

Mikey knocked softly on Gerards door, "Gee?" He called out. "Mhm, come in," Gerard replied and rubbed his eyes. He felt like crying. "Gee," Mikey sighed looking down at his older brother, "whats wrong?" He looked down and tried to think of a way to tell Mikey about Franks situation. "It's Frank..," he started off and looked back up at his slightly concerned brother. "What about him? Did you guys break up or something?" He questioned. Gerard let out a small chuckle, "no, no, uh how did you even know that we're dating?" Mikey laughed, "Well I didn't really know, I just kind of guessed. But that's beside the point. What's happened?" Immediately Gerards heart sunk. How was he even supposed to explain this? Mikey walked over to Gerard and sat opposite him on his bed. 

"Well, I'm sure you've noticed how quiet he's been lately, like even more quiet than usual. Well a couple days ago in class he came in and..," he paused not sure how to come out and say this. "He uh, well, there was uhm blood soaking through his hoodie." He stopped and looked at his brother who seemed taken aback. "What? What happened? Is he okay?" Mikey questioned. Gerard sighed again and fiddled with his hands. "He cut himself and not for the first time either," Gerards voice was quiet and he was biting back tears. He hated saying it aloud, it made it more real. He didn't want to think about his boyfriends mutilated skin. "Oh fuck," Mikey muttered, "I had no idea." "But thats not all, he's been getting drunk a lot and he uh," Gerard stopped trying not to get emotional about this, "he said to me t-that it was the only way he could cope with being alive anymore." Gerard let a few stray tears fall from his eyes and Mikey pulled him into a hug, which only caused more tears to spill from his brothers eyes. "I just, I don't know what to do," Gerard choked out.

"I'm so sorry Gee, I don't really have experience with it. I mean you could try ask Pete for help? He has bipolar disorder and he is coping really well with it." Gerard pulled out of the hug and wiped away the tears from his cheeks. "Could you maybe tell him about it? I don't really want to explain this whole thing again," Gerard explained. "Sure, I'll call him now," Mikey got up and headed towards the door. "Oh and Mikes?" He turned around. "Yeah?" "Thank you for helping me." He smiled at him, "anytime."

Pete managed to come over to their place only an hour later. Gerard stayed in his room whilst Mikey explained the situation to him. Whilst he waited he sent Frank a quick text asking if he was okay and saying that if he needed anything just to call. He knew he'd probably be asleep but he wanted to make sure that when Frank woke up he knew someone cared about him enough to ask if he was okay. 

Pete came upstairs followed by Mikey shortly after he sent the text. Pete walked in and immediately spoke, "I think we should tell someone. Someone who can actually help." There was a hint of desperation in his voice, he seemed really worried abut this. "What you mean? Like tell his parents?" Gerard questioned. "Yeah, I mean we're just a bunch of kids. We can't help Frank. This is really serious. And if it's as bad as it sounds then.. I don't even want to think about what would happen if no one helped him," Pete explained mainly speaking to Gerard. "Yeah, you're right," Gerard agreed. 

He wanted to help Frank and if this was the best way then he was all up for it. He didn't know how Frank would react to this but it didn't really matter. This is what's best for him. 

"Gerard can I ask if you know how long he's felt this way?" Pete looked at Gerard with concern written all over his face. Gerard nodded, "A couple years ago. I don't quite remember, I think he was fourteen." Pete nodded, "Oh shit that's a long time." He pulled out his phone and looked at the time. "Okay well if you need anything just text me. I really gotta go but make sure you tell someone soon." Pete turned around and headed back downstairs, Mikey following close behind him. He hadn't actually done anything but nod the whole time Gerard and Pete were talking. 

Gerard spent the rest of the night thinking of how he could tell Franks parents. He had no idea how them or even Frank would react to this. All he really wanted was that it would make Frank feel better. 

His phone buzzed and he grabbed it from his bedside table. 

'Thanks, same goes for you. I'm fine. Please don't worry about me.'  Gerard let out a breath he wasn't aware he was holding. It made him calm down knowing that Frank was okay right now. 

'I'm glad you're okay' Gerard typed in response to him. But then he started thinking, Frank hid this from him for quite some time. What else could he be hiding? He never vents out his feelings unless he's drunk. He always just shrugs it off and says he's okay. Gerard stopped himself from over analysing, instead he focused on how and when he was going to tell Franks parents about all of this. They had planned to come out to their parents and friends soon but that could and would have to wait for some other time in the future. Franks well being is much more important than that. And Mikey already knew about them now, so it was only be a matter of time until he told the rest of their small friendship group. Mikey didn't seem to mind anyway. It wasn't too hard to figure out that Gerard was not the straightest person. And it sure as hell wasn't hard to see that him and Frank are much more than friends.

His thoughts drifted back to Frank. He had images of his mutilated arm and legs flashing before his eyes, he never wanted to see Frank with an open wound on his body. He didn't want him to hurt himself. He's too beautiful for the scars that litter his body. Although they didn't make him any less beautiful. They just showed that he was struggling to keep his head above water. No matter what Gerard would always find him absolutely beautiful. 

Gerard dragged himself back upstairs into his room and fell on to the bed. It only took a few minutes until sleep consumed him. It was easier for him to sleep knowing that he had a plan for how to help Frank. Hopefully it would work and Frank would get better and show the world his contagious smile more often. 

And if Gerard would have known what was happening whilst he was falling asleep in his bed, he would have rushed out of his house to get to his boyfriend as quickly as his legs would carry him. But he didn't know.

Frank was currently sat on the tiles of his shower. Water falling down on to his shaking body. He was very far from 'fine'. His head was pounding and he wasn't sure if that was from his racing thoughts or the pills he had swallowed a few minutes prior. It didn't really concern him anyway. He had stopped crying. He didn't need to. He was getting what he wanted. He was finally escaping this world for good.

He would no longer have to suffer. He would be at peace with the world. For a second Gerard had crossed his mind but he hoped he would understand. He didn't write a goodbye letter to anyone. He didn't want to be remembered. He wished to just slip out of existence as if he had never existed in the first place. 

As his body went limp and his mind was empty of worry or troubling thoughts he felt calm. His mind was finally silenced. 

But his parents just had to knock on the bathroom door. And of course they just had to get worried when no one replied and brake down the door, only to find their only son lying on the tiles passed out with a discarded pill bottle just beside him. His mother broke down crying holding what was still her little boy in her eyes whilst her husband was panicking and desperately trying to find the phone and call an ambulance as fast as he could. 

A/N: oh well damn. 

This fic is only about half way  so I still got a lot to write.