Beyond Repair

Part four

I look at Jake and he looks upset almost angry and I don't know why I guess I'll figure out soon. I grab his hand this time it isn't the other way around. We have business next and its on the other side of the building so we have to go now or we'll be late. We pass Maddy on our way and she smirks at Jake. He looks down and tries to ignore her something isn't right. "What did you do?" I question and he's clearly surprised. "Fuck okay I kissed Maddy in the hall no actually she kissed me and I kinda kissed back then she tried to have sex with me that's why I wasn't in 1st period." He lays it out how it is.

I'm stunned I just stare at him.

"You you said you wouldn't go for another cheer leader."

I cry. I'm actually crying in school. Unbelievable. "It wasn't like 5th at I didn't Fuck her I just kissed her well she kissed me and I kinda kissed her back I'm sorry please nothing happened I swear my dick didn't go inside that whore I promise just listen to me Vanna." He looks worried and hurt "You know what I'm tired of feeling sorry you and falling for your stupid games you are clearly the hottest and most sexyist guy I've ever known but your just like the other jocks you think everyone will forgive and forget but it's not gonna happen not this time I'm sorry Jake I'm done...... bye." "What bye no come here. Don't walk away from me dammit Vanna." He yells from behind me as I walk faster. I see Landon in the hall he's a good friend of mine and he looks worried when he hears Jake yelling at me. "Leave her alone." He says. "Get the fuck out of my way Landon!" Jake screams. He just stands there blocking Jake so I hurry down the hall as I turn the corner I see Jake coming towards me before he is crowded by people and I can no longer see him and he can no longer see me.

Jake walks in the class and sits next to me. Fuck I shouldn't have sat in a spot surrounded by empty seats the final bell rings as I stand to go to the back I give Mr. Fisher an apolitical smile and sit in the back. Jake looks at me hurt but he's not as hurt as me. I mean it's the second time he's cheated on me with a cheer fucking leader. I'm pissed.

I look at the clock 30 seconds. 15 seconds. 10 Seconds. 5 seconds. Ding ding ding. The Bell rings. And thankfully Fisher asks Jake to stay after for a minute to talk. I run to my locker and Alexis comes after me. "What's wrong? Vanna did he hurt you what did he do to you." She pushes. "Never mind Lexi." I huff. "No not never mind he hurt you and I'm pissed." About then Gracie and Bella come up to on us. "What's going on? Jake just stopped me and Gracie in the hall to tell us well to yell at us saying he wants to talk to you that it's urgent." Isabella smiles worryingly. "Nothing guys I'm good let's just go. And I'm sorry bella and gracie I didn't expect him to bother you guys. And I f you must know I broke up with him." I feel like crying but I hold it in. They just stand there confused Bella finally speaks up "don't be sorry it's not your fault if you need to talk call us text us whatever you need to do even come over if you'd like." "But please Vanna I'm begging you please don't cut." Alexis whines. Gracie just stands there with no idea what to say besides the occasional 'yeah'. They mean well but I'm gonna cut and for that I'm sorry for them. I enjoy cutting I enjoy letting all my pain out it releases my stress. I cry afterwards and I curse at my parents....well my mom. My mom has been there for me ever since the accident.

*FLASHBACK*
My mom runes into my room. "Your dad was in an accident he had to much to drink before driving home. He hit a tree while trying to turn a corner he slid off the road. We have to go to the hospital he is being Stat flighted to veterans hospital." She crys. I stand up and follow her to the car. She crys the whole way.

When we get there the doctor informs us that he hasn't arrived yet and that he passed away a few minutes after picking him up. The doctor walks away and me and my mom brake down into a giant mess of tears.

*Present*

On the bus ride home I ignore everyone and out my earbuds in to listen to Bring Me the Horizon their my favorite band. They remind me of death witch is my passion. I see Jake get on the bus what is he doing he drove to school. Guess what he fucking sits right next me I guess he doesn't get the memo. So I look at him "did you hear me IT'S OVER SO STOP STALKING ME just go away." I whisper scream. "No its not over yet give me a chance to explain myself. Please." "Fine." I give in. "I love you I don't even have a thing for Maddy yet I love you with all my heart and soul it was a slip up and I know I don't deserve for you to forgive me again but I need you to forgive me if you don't well I'm incomplete without you. I cant live a minute of my stay without you it hurts me in ways you don't know it tears me apart piece by piece. And when I'm with you I feel like I have meaning like there is a reason to my life like I have a purpose to be h ed really otherwise I feel like a uh a bluff your the only one who can make me feel this way and I need that I need you please give me a chance you won't regret it. You can come live with me whatever you want whatever will help you know that im not cheating or any of that shit Vanna I need you baby." He breathes hard. And I'm crying more than I was.

"Dammit Jake I want to forgive you so bad but you hurt me. Actually you know what I will forgive you but the very next time something happens I will literally make you suffer the rest of your life." I don't mean it I mean he can do better than me and he will when I end b it he will find a new girl and he'll forget me.

"Thanks you don't know what it means to me." He says clearly confused by my amswer. He stands up and gets off the bus at his house. I can't believe that I said yes I'm so fucking stupid ugh.

* A/N Sorry got kinda bored with this chapter haha lol. PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT ALSO PLEASE TELL ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT MY BOOK PLEEEASE.♡♡♡◇◇◆◆◆□ AND SHANKS FOR READING LIKE SERIOUSLY IT'S CRA CRA HOW FAST IT GOT DISCOVERED LOL haha*