I AM SATAN'S MISTRESS and I have a SERIOUS problem. I can't stop thinking about that angel...

I AM SATAN'S MISTRESS and I have a SERIOUS problem. Chapter 22

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In .... 2010, I had a dream.

No, quite literally, a dream. I dreamt of a being, a creature, that fed on the very pain within someone’s soul. But it wasn’t a real creature, it was of darkness. I dreamt that it would make you cold, and pull you apart, and when you woke your nails would be forever stained black.

When I woke, I remembered the dream, but only certain parts were clear. I remember that it was my own fingers turning black, that I was devastated by this drowning feeling of being alone. I was in this gorgeous garden,  with green all around me, but I couldn’t notice it for my own pain. And then there was a hand, and he pulled me out. He saved me from the shadow that was killing me.

I then I was lying in bed, shocked by the after-effect of this dream...

For that was the birth of this very story. Every single detail, every character, every minuet spent on putting these sentences together to form the story that it is now, was because of that very night. Because of that dream. I felt I should add this little note, to explain to you all the importance of this chapter. This is the chapter where the entire story was based around. This is it.

And that is why it took me so long to write. This is so important! I couldn’t let this chapter down... I couldn’t let you guys down... I hope it lives up to all the expectations you have for this! Please, let me know!

Kiki

xoxo

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Chapter 22

I took deep breathes, focusing my thoughts, and trying so very hard not to freak the hell out.

Everything is okay. This is what I wanted to happen! This was what the plan was, all along. I was to encourage the Herman’s Shadow to find me, use my body. And then the Angles will be able to come to me. They will be able to trap the shadow. And everything will be solved! The Angles will fix everything...

Ahhhh... Yeah. The angles. My one connection to the angles, to the beings who are to “save me” and through extension, the entire world, and he doesn’t exactly know where I am... Wow. Aren’t I smart?!  I probably should have explained to Raphael as to where I was heading. That is kinda a massive floor in this oh so marvellous plan of mine. God I am an idiot!

My breathing has become so rugged. I just feel so cold. Like, the very warmth within me is being sucked out. No. It was being pushed out, expelled from my body. Leaching out of every pour in my body. I silently begged for the warmth to stay with me, not to leave me alone in the darkness and cold. But if the warmth was a being, it definitely wasn’t listening to my pleas.

The moment the last speck of warmth had left, I felt like the world was over, my world was over. Nothing could possibly live after the darkness left behind.  I gasped, desperately trying to make a noise, to plead to the darkness around me, within me, but I couldn’t make a sound. The Herman’s shadow was forfilling its duty. I could almost feel it as it seeped into every cell of my body, turning everything as black and dead is it was. It was killing me; from the inside out.

The edges of my sight started to fuzz, turn as dark as I felt. What was left of what I could see of the park, lacked colour and liveliness. Everything was still, as though watching me fight a battle that I could not win. The darkness took over more and more of my sight, until I could see nothing at all. The world around me has disappeared completely.

I collapsed, heaving, into the dirt. My fingers dug into the ground, and I tried to focus my attention on the coolness within it. Dirt was a part of Earth. I was still on earth. I needed to stay here! I want to stay here!

What if I called for help?! No. Calling angles only works in heaven. If I called out now, they would never hear me. And there were no mortals around to help save me. It was a patheticly desperate wish.

I am all alone.

The darkness within my mind, seemed to become hazy. Could I have beaten it? Suddenly, images flashed at me, in the shadows. They didn’t make sense, blurry and fast, flashes of things I couldn’t understand. My mind had no idea what they meant, but my heart did. These were my memories, distorted after being stolen from me. The coldness that Herman’s Shadow brought seemed like nothing against these images. The feelings of isolation, of seclusion, multiplied over a hundred times. It was like my soul was screaming, begging for the pain, the aching of my heart to be stopped.

The images started repeating themselves. This only made them hurt more, and I wished I could tell what they were trying to say; maybe that could take away some of the pain? In the back of my mind, I realised that my lack of true memories, was deeply confusing the Shadow. It was repeating images, that made no sense, in a desperate attempt to use them against me. I may have confused it greatly, but his method was no doubt working against me.

I could feel a freezing wetness run down my face. I remembered that once upon a time, it had been raining. Now the cold was tears, as they leaked and ran away from me.

The hysterical pain within me was continually escalating, pulling me further and further into the darkness. I could no longer move at all. I had no grasp on reality, no sense of the world around me. I needed nobody to tell me that I am almost dead. But I seriously doubt that dying would help. This pain, it will never end. Death will never bring me relief.

The world will continue to be in danger. The Herman’s Shadow will still live, will carry on to take lives, and will eventually destroy everything.

I have failed... everyone.

“I am sorry...” I whispered. My voice was so quite, so hoarse, that even if someone was right next to me, I doubt that would have any idea that I said anything at all. I am not surprised by this. But I wasn’t talking to just anyone. I was talking to everyone. Every single person I had failed. The world didn’t need to hear me say this, but it was something that needed to be said.

I gasped, the deep air filling my lungs, and I whispered what I knew to be my final words.

“I am so sorry... Raphael...”

I sunk into the darkness, letting it take me completely. Death has arrived.

But I am not going with it? Was the darkness lifting? No. But there was light. I can see it plainly before me, emerging within the darkness that had consumed my soul. I blinked desperately, trying to see more of this light, trying to move towards it.

I couldn’t move, I couldn’t join it. But that didn’t matter, because a hand was reaching down towards me. And it lifted me away.