I Felt Nothing

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I sat impatiently on the cold hard ground as I waited for whatever my mom had done to my physical body to take effect on me. I sighed again as my sisters gave me hard glares, I needed to learn patience apparently. Well try having your fucking body defiled by your disgusting uncle, being used and hated by your closest family. I even had to stop and wonder if my fucking mates really loved me, or if I was a pawn to them as well. I could see why my father, Hades, hated the other Gods so much. Useless fucking beings that they were.

"Sister, your heart has grown colder" I frowned at her as my eyes rolled of their own accord. Fuck having a heart in the shitty hole in the ground I came from. I could do without it, what was love, if everyone was only going to break it in the end. Fucking Hercules traveled to the underground for his love, where the fuck where my mates. Right, they already got what they wanted from me.

I felt my limbs become hard and cold, my skin became an ashy brown as if I were turning pale. I felt..............nothing, I literally felt nothing. I placed my hand over my heart and felt nothing.

"Your body has been returned to you, but you won't look the same once you have resurrected, not just because you are a Goddess, but he tore your body badly, and he kept your heart, how do you feel" I frowned, not really feeling any way about it, but I just figured it was the appropriate expression.

"I don't feel anything" I said in an expressionless tone. I thought I should feel happy to have my body back, that the spell worked and I was put back together.

"This is only the way you remember your body Helena, you no longer look like you think" I nodded my head and started to walk towards the gate of Hades.

"Do not forget your promise to us little sister, we want to be freed from this hell" I nodded my head, they would be powerful allies, I would not break my promise to them. I pinched my skin trying to feel anything, but there was nothing. I felt my nails elongate and scraped them up my forearm, ichor spilled from my wounds, but no pain. I decided to dig my nails in deeper, I could see that what I was doing should hurt, badly. Yet I continued to feel empty.

"What are you a masochist" I looked up at my sister Melinoe and her two toned frowning face. Her head tilted to the side as she stared at me.

"Something has changed about you" I shrugged my shoulders and kept walking. I was no longer in the pit of Hades, but I had a long walk ahead of me.

"So, how was it growing up with mom, don't need to know about Zeus, i'm aware of how much an asshole he is" I looked back at her, I knew I should be feeling irritated, angry, something, but I just didn't give a fuck, so I went with honesty.

"She was a good mother, attentive, caring, I suppose it was an act though" I said in a bored way, not that I didn't want to talk to my sister, but I was on a mission at the moment.

"You say that like it doesn't matter, like you don't care, she took one look at me and threw me down here, you should be grateful" I turned away from her as I saw her eyes begin to tear. I thought I should tell her something to make her feel better, but I didn't have the words, and even if I did, they wouldn't come out like they should. I knew that.

"Maybe" I started walking again as I heard her gasp. I thought she would go away but she proved me wrong.

"Maybe, maybe are you fucking kidding me you spoiled brat, she may have had you for a reason but she loves you, I just said that shit earlier out of anger" I ignored her whining and kept walking, I thought she was evil having been born and raised in Tartarus, but I guess I was wrong. She was like a child almost.

"Melinoe, I am very busy at the moment, if you are looking for something from me in the way of an emotional bond, I won't be able to fulfill it, my........our uncle, your brother stole my heart" I said as I kept walking, trying my hardest to ignore her presence.

"Oh, I just thought, you know you might need someone, up there, I could be, you told the triplets that.........uh" I looked over at her again and shrugged. She could could come with me, sure, why not?

"You want to see mom or something" She shook her head, denying my claim. I knew she just wanted her mother, most children do, whether they are good or not. We traveled for what felt like days, I didn't get hungry, tired, or anything. I listened to Melinoe complain, even though she floated like a ghost. I knew I should feel irritated, but no feelings came.

"You know the heart isn't exactly used for feelings Helena, it's just for pumping blood though your veins, it shouldn't make you so cold and annoying" She folded her arms underneath her chest as she waited to get an reaction from me. I knew where we were now, I was so close, I was going to leave here and................and do what? I knew what I should feel against my uncle, my mother, my grandfather, and my mates, for what they did to me. I just didn't feel any anger, resentment, or revenge. I stopped as I placed a hand where my heart should have been.

"What am I doing?" Melinoe looked at me with a confused expression, when I heard a loud booming voice calling my name. A voice that used to speak to me with such disdain, but now spoke to me with love and care, like a father should. I thought I should feel something that my father was the one to find me, to come for me.

"Darling, my girl, you're in one piece, my girl" Hades held my body close to his and kissed my face over and over again.

"Hades this is my sister Melinoe" I said as he let me go and I continued walking towards the gates. My father looked from me to my sister in confusion, before glaring at his step-daughter.

"Hey step-dad, I'm with her" My father's lips snarled as she ran towards me and gripped my hand. I looked down at our hands touching, then looked ahead to keep walking.

"Why did you ask yourself that" I looked up at her, staring straight into her multi colored eyes. I could see some shared resemblances between the both of us.

"Ask myself what" I instantly knew my father was behind us, he was whispering to himself in confusion.

"What am I doing, remember, you're going to get revenge on your....our uncle, my brother, rip mom a new one, dump those loser mates, and bring your sisters to the surface" I nodded my head at her, at least now I have an objective.

"You're doing what, Helena, explain this to me, your mother has been distraught why are you "ripping" her a new one" I looked up at my father's angry face. I didn't need to feel to know if it came down to a fight between me and Persephone, he would undoubtedly choose his wife, she was his everything, I was an inconvenience he had grown to tolerate.

"I'll let Persephone tell you Hades, don't worry, I know you will fight for her before me, I am not expecting any sympathy from you" It must have been the truthfulness in the statement that made my father look hurt. Soon we were at the gates, and were barley glanced at as we passed into the underworld, being with Hades did that for you. As soon as we passed through, I fell to the ground in unimaginable pain, it's as if all the pain that had been held back, had intensified. What was worse, it didn't hurt, I felt the torture my body was going through, and I knew pain, my mind knew pain, but I felt nothing. I would have liked to feel................something.

"What's wrong with her, what did you do" Hades asked Melinoe who looked at me in awe, then back to Hades.

"She's finishing her transition into a Goddess, and she is powerful"



Pic of Melinoe


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