Memories of Jack & Eliza (BWWM)

Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Jack

November

                                I remember Eliza's touch. She was soft, very gentle, and so was I. Nevertheless, I could sense the fire behind her eyes; she wanted us to go up in flames, and I knew from day one that I would burn for her. She craved it and so did I. This time we had to take it slow. All the other times we have done it (and it was a long time ago) we have been passionate. Yet, there is always that thought in the back of my mind that tells me to pin her down and keep her --- "What are you thinking about?" She asked, watching me.

                     I tickled her skin, and she closed her eyes. "I was just thinking about you," I respond, "thinking about you from last night," I add. "So was I," I watch her twist up the hair I convinced her to leave alone. Her words take me back to my thoughts. I love her so much. I would make her proud of me. I want to make her the happiest women on this planet. Therefore, I am going to do what I need to do.

                              I tell Eliza that I want to go out. I want to go out by myself and explore the world, find my path. Search for the things I am living for. I don't worry about her here, because I know I am I'm going to be back. The only thing I am worrying about, is myself. I need to man up and get through this. I get dressed into a nice black shirt and some jeans. My attire was casual, but I made sure I looked nice. I would drive to my old job, make nice, and present myself.

                       I grab the car keys, and hold them in my hands. The keys jingle when I walk to the car and stick them in the door. I sit in the drivers' seat and clutch the wheel. Everything I did after this seemed like I was speaking out loud. I take some deep breathes immediately, because if I don't, I will panic. I need to relax. I put the keys in the engine and hear the car rumble under me. My heart was pounding and I put my hand to it, to see if I could feel it in my chest, the way I feel it in my soul. I back out of the parking lot and get onto the road.

                   The steadiness of my hands was surprising, and I congratulated myself. I take the streets to my job, because highway would be too much for me. Everything is going good now. I am breathing, and keeping an eye on the road. With steady hands and legs, I park near my usual spot when I get to the building. Time to take another deep breath, after all the rest of them.

                       I drink some water and grow some balls. Let's go. My legs get me up to the door before my mind thought about the action. I open it and look around. Since the accident, I have not been to this place. It has been over half a year in a half and nothing looks the same. I doubt I still had the job. However, my situation was not like pregnancy, a vacation, or even cancer; I got into a car accident, which led me into a coma. I would work damn hard to get this job back and do hella good at it. Show them and the world, that months of silence did not fuck me up (too bad).

                        Many women and men look at me. "Who are you?" A woman at the front spoke to me, "Oh um hi. I am Jack Ellis---" Someone comes in shouting my name. "Ellis!" The voice says and I recognize it as Steven: the person that I would join for lunch when I had brought it one day. Steven keeps his distance when he hugged me, as if I was fragile or something. "Steven, I am just fine." I embrace him with a pat on the back. He returns the gesture and begin to make small talk. "We all thought you were dead," Steven says when we make it to the empty break room.

                 "Does everyone know what happened?" I asked him curiously. "Um, I don't know. However, if they did, they probably forgot. It's been a while," He never failed to mention all of the things I was stressing about. "Can I see your office? Have you gotten one of those yet?" Steven smirks at me and shows me to his office. The door had his name on it and his title under it. "Wow, you upgraded! Who is you sign?" I touched the glass and he warned me from getting smudges on it. "I signed over this big ass company and helped them to make a shit load of money. They gave me 10% and the boss promoted me." I congratulated Steven and made my way to see the boss. I would get where Steven was in no time.