Between You and Nowhere

"Somewhere between you and nowhere is where I always seem to be. Somewhere between starlight and darkness is where my life's taken me." — Hellyeah

***

"It's about time you came back."

I still at the sound of that familiar voice breaking into my thoughts. For a moment I convince myself I imagined it, since I am not mentally prepared for this yet. Sure, I had the seven hour drive to imagine this exact scenario and all that I could make of it when it came, but none of that seems to matter now that the time has arrived.

Hot flashes of images then overwhelm my memory as his voice replays in my mind. I see pictures of my younger self wrapped up completely in this boy, physically and emotionally, in every way. My heart has belonged to him for so long. But, it seems like an even longer time has passed without him. It's been two summers since the last time I heard his deep voice of smooth comfort speak to me, and the sudden sound of it melts my insides. I don't want to be weak and fall to his feet again as I have my whole life when we reunited this time, but that wish seems like a silly childish dream now that I'm before him.

Dylan Watson has always held my heart, and despite the distance that has been between us for so long, none of it seems to matter anymore.

"Hi," is my grand greeting after two years apart. A part of me screams to say something more, but a larger part of me just wants to watch Dylan's reaction to seeing me again. Would he be excited to see me, since it's been so long? Or angry, since I neglected to return for two summers, or because I didn't let him know when I'd be back? Would seeing me again hurt him, or please him? Is my presence a nice or bad surprise?

I've been terrified of this exact moment for so long because of all of these intimidating questions and their anticipated answers. We were in love when I left. Even if we were sixteen, it had been true love. It was love expressed in novels and described in songs. It was perfect, when neither of us were, and my life was the furthest thing from the word. It was love that I hated the thought of tainting, a love that scared and excited me all at the same time. So, I may have only been sixteen, but it was the real kind of love.

We grew up spending our summers together here, and I'd come to know Dylan better than I knew anyone. It's scary to think of how much he's changed in two years, and even scarier to know that I've changed so much in that time in ways he may not approve of. As close as we once were, we're bound to be different now. But, our love was true, so even if it's naïve to think so, maybe we didn't grow apart from each other.

"Hi, back, Isadora," he laughs, using that adorable chuckle of his that touches his blue eyes lightly, and I'm comforted to know that that signature sound of his hasn't changed.

"How are you?" I ask nervously, allowing a small smile to brush my lips in relief of the fact that at least he isn't upset by my appearance.

"Shocked," he answers, running a hand through his tangles of unruly hair that falls over his bright eyes which are busy absorbing the look of me. I figure that he's nervous, too, by the gesture. Neither of us seem to know whether to hug or keep our distance, if it should be awkward or comfortable to be together again. Our reunion is weird so far, but at least he seems somewhat pleased to see me by the cautious grin spread on his face.

"Um," he clears his throat with a pause, "what brings you back here, you know, so soon?"

I find myself laughing at the joke, which doesn't melt the layer of ice between us, but eases some of the tension building in my muscles from standing so stiffly in anticipation.

"Well, my mom got married," I tell him, trying not to let the fact bother me too obviously. Rolling my eyes is a difficult act to refuse. "I'm not a big fan of the guy, and after everything that's happened lately, I just figured it was time to get away."