Screen (A Joe Sugg fanfic)

11.

I spent the next day in my hotel room Troye, Tyler, and Zoe all came and stopped by to see if I wanted to hang out with them. I denied, I need to be left with my thoughts. Caspar updated me about Joe, he is doing a little bit better. I asked if I could talk to him but Caspar told me that's probably not a bright idea.

"I just want to talk to him, please." "Ella, I'm telling you it's not a good idea if he wanted to talk to you he would call you.", Caspar explained to me. "I'm going to call him anyways.", I demanded. "Have you always been this stubborn?", Caspar asks me. "Yes.", Caspar just responds with a small laugh, "Where is he?", I question him. "He's in his room, probably sleeping." I hang up on Caspar and call Joe.

"Hello?", Joe answers, my arms start shaking not knowing what to say. "Hello, anyone there? Ella?", Joe keeps on talking into the phone. "Uh yeah, hello.", I'm still shaking nervously, "Ella, what do you want?", he demands. "I-I just want to know.", I'm stammering and stuttering I'm not sure if Joe knows what I am even talking about. "What do you want to know about?", he sounds annoyed I try to calm down and I eventually do. I say in a clear voice, "Why do you love me?" I can hear Joe sigh into the phone, "Is that all? Ella I'm going to go now." "Wait! No Joe! Please!" "Why shouldn't I love you?", Joe asks me. "I'm crazy!", I scream. "And I'm crazy for you!", he screams back at me. "Ella you ruin me. Every time you walk into the room, every time you talk, every time you kiss me, every time you snuggle into my arms. Ella I'm being destroyed! And when you say you're crazy, well I'm crazier! Because I love being destroyed by you! I love it! I love you! Every time I see you a little bit of my heart breaks, and I actually like it!"

Again with the tears streaming down my face, "Ella, I love you because I can never stay mad at you, I can't stand not talking to you, and I can't stand the thought of losing you."

"Joe I want to love you! I want to! I want to!"

"But if you can't why do you want to?", I can hear his voice breaking. "Ella say hi to Zoe for me, I got to go."

"Please Joe", my eyes are wet because I realize how I love Joe. I love Joe as a friend, I've been friend zoning Joe this whole time. The phone rings telling me that the conversation is done. Kind of like our relationship.

•••

The rest of the project was fun and before I knew it we were done. Tyler, Troye, Zoe, and I became really good friends with Michael the director. He's 25 and Tyler has a huge crush on him, he says that the way everybody puts their hair looks special on his brown hair and his blue eyes gaze into his makes him melt. I always laugh at Tyler when he obsesses about him, and he always gives me that cold stare saying "this is not a joke". In the end Michael and Tyler traded numbers to always keep in touch.

The plane ride there was long and lonely, I sat in the window seat while an old lady sat next to the aisle in my row we both decided to leave the middle open. As for the rest of the trip Joe and I haven't talked at all but he's supposed to pick me up from the airport with Caspar.

On the plane ride all I could think about was Ash, she has been there with me through 4 boyfriends, the U.S, Manchester, my whole YouTube career. I got her for my 15th birthday, that was the day I got my first boyfriend and on my 16th birthday the first time someone broke up with me. She's been everywhere with me and has seen everything I have seen. She has seen when I broke my leg, she has seen the first time when I listened to One Direction, she has seen that brief time when I liked Caspar more than a friend. Ha, no one knew about that I still haven't told him even though it was only 4 years ago. Caspar has been taking care of Ash and I have never left her with someone for that long, but I trust him. I trust him more than anyone, he's kept all of my secrets and hasn't told anyone any of them.