Amnesia

Chapter 5

We had gone through Evans family, including cat, after three sessions. There's his mum, dad and baby sister Cherry. And of course Arthur the cat. At the next session, I was hoping he would ask to learn about himself, I was excited for it. But he crushed my dreams, by choosing to learn about me. I sat myself down on the red plush sofa, wishing Evan would sit beside me, but he doesn't. He pours us some milky tea, gets a few digestives, and beckons me to begin. I breathe in slowly, and I start.

"My name, is Samantha Ross. Everyone calls me Sam, apart from the teachers in my- our college. I'm 18, and my birthday is fifteenth of June." I'm about to get into my favourite things, but Evan stops me.

"Wait. Don't tell me about you. Show me."
I nod. We clamber into my car, and drive to a bench in my favourite park.

"When I was in primary, people bullied me a lot, because I read in yard, I hid my face with my hair, I wore oversized jumpers, I was shy. They used to call me Invisible Girl, and talk through me like I wasn't there. I would walk home, silent tears seeping out of my eyes, and I would sit here. I would look around at the trees, the warming sub, the squawking birds. I would write stories about what I saw, and I would read it to the animals, though they were hiding. I would also read, and draw the landscapes I saw those evenings. I would skip home, feeling refreshed and happy, and then the next day would come, and I would be sad again, but I would just sit here, and let it all go. " Tears of memory are coming to me, and I wipe them away roughly, remembering the small little me, crying on the bench.
Evan holds my hand.
"Keep going" he whispers.

"Then, I went to secondary school, and I met you. I was still bullied, but you were that one thing that got me through it, though you ignored me. You showed me light, when I thought there was only darkness in this world. I still went to this bench, everyday. Then it got too much." I ponder on telling him about my anorexia, but he's amnesic, I'm sure he has enough trouble on him.
"I got really sad. Many times I nearly ran away, needing to get away from it all. I still am a smidge sad, but not much. I got happy again when a new girl came. Her name was Joey. She had thick layered hair, dyed plum red. She had nibbled black fingernails, mascara, big green sparkling eyes, and she usually wore football jumpers. She scared the bullies away. Sure, they still didn't like me, but they left me alone. Then a difficult time came. In fourth year, Joey told me she loved me. I gently explained to her that I liked guys, and she was just my friend. She got angry. She got drunk. She ran up to my house, mad with alcohol, and smashed my window. She picked up all the individual pieces of glass, and scraped me with them. My parents ran in, tried to pry her off me, and called the police and the ambulance. The police got in at the exact moment she was trying to stab me. They hauled her off me, and arrested her. She was released last year, apparently completely sober, but I still have nightmares about her coming back." I finish, the cold wind blowing leaves on me. Evan looks hard at me, trying to remember something.

"I... I remember you coming back to school, with scars all over you, and... A body guard beside you. Then... Then... " He says, then gets frustrated that he can't remember what happened next. I hold his hand, cupping it with my two hands.

"It's OK, its OK. Let's go to the next place." I say, and I slowly help him up. We drive to my old primary school, and the memories come flooding back. I show him the bathroom, and we sit on the counter with the sinks. I turn around to face the mirror. In black permanent market, written clearly over the mirror is: Invisible Girl is afraid of food!
Sweat drips from my brow, and I steady myself. Someone knew? What if a teacher saw, and tried to find out who it was? Thank god no adult saw that, but every girl in the school did. Now I understand why they tried to shove food down my throat, and laughed when I choked and spluttered.
I don't even get to tell Evan about the rest of my childhood, I'm puking in the toilet. How could this happen. Someone must have told, and I know who did. Kimberly Wilson.