Amnesia

Chapter 24

My heart rate quickened as Evan dragged me into our room.

He sat down and patted the space beside him.

I warily sat cross legged on his blue checked bed, fearing what he was going to tell me.

"Last night..." he starts, taking a deep breath. "Last night, I was so drunk I didn't even know what I was doing, I kissed another girl." He started sobbing.
"I'm so sorry, Sam. It meant absolutely nothing to me, I was just drunk out of my mind and she was just... There."

I stared at him blankly. "I saw Aaron's Facebook picture. Aria screenshotted it and sent it to me." I felt my throat close up as I fought the tears. "I was just waiting for you to tell me."

"I love you so much, Sam. That girl means nothing to me, but I'm so, so sorry. I understand if you want to break up, though it'll break my heart." Evan choked for air, tears racing down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry,"

I allowed a single tear to fall down my cheek. "I'm just going to go to Aria and Faith again. I'll be back." I said slowly, laying out every word like they weighed a tonne.

"Okay." Evan cried, wiping his cheeks with his hand. "I love you,"

I nodded, still fazed by it all. "See you later,"

I dragged my legs through the corridor and pushed through the door to Aria and Faith's door, not even bothering to knock. I flop on their bed and wrap the blanket around me, sobbing.

"Sam!" Aria exclaimed, concern threaded through her voice. "Are you okay? Did he tell you? Do you want me to beat the crap out of him?"

I chuckle in spite of the situation, muffled sobs still escaping from my throat. "No, I'm not okay. Yes he told me and no don't beat him up."

Faith sits beside me and rubs my arm. "What are you gonna do?" I ponder on the answer as Aria brings me in a huge bar of Oreo chocolate. "Thanks," I speak in a monotone. I feel desensitised, like I'm unable to emote.

"Will you give him another chance?" Aria quizzes, twirling her brown curls around her finger. I nod slowly. "I think so,"

Faith nods in agreement as Aria breaks out in a sympathetic grin. "It was a mistake," I elaborate. "He was drunk out of his mind, he said it himself."

"If this ever happens again though," Aria threatens, "I will personally take the liberty of ripping his eyeballs out with my own perfectly manicured hands."

I allow a grin on my face as Faith and Aria hug me with such force I think my lungs might collapse. "Just remember that we love you," Faith states with confidence. "Yeah," Aria agrees, "Chicks before dicks."

I laugh out loud, pulling myself off the bed and brushing myself down. I inhale deeply and turn on one heel, marching myself out the door and back through the hall before I can give it a second thought.

☼ ☼ ☼

"Sam," Evan lets out a gasp as he stands abruptly off his bed. His cheeks are red and tear stained, but his eyes are hopeful. Angus patters over to me from Evan's lap and licks my face excitedly, his tail wagging. I laugh and rub his belly before standing back up and walking towards Evan. I sit down beside him and sit on my hands to stop them from shaking. Evan's big blue eyes framed by long eyelashes meet mine and I see the glimmer of hope and regret swimming in them.

I take off my glasses and clean them with my t-shirt, feeling his eyes on me. I can sense him begging me for forgiveness without him even opening his mouth. "I forgive you," I say with finality.

Evan's face lights up and a grin stretches out across his face. He takes my glasses off my lap and gently places them across the bridge of my nose. "It'll never happen again, I swear on my life."

"I know," I say with a smile. "If it did I think Aria would bury your body in a field while you were still alive." His face radiates with joy as he reaches out and holds my hand. "Let's just move on," I suggest. "Pretend it never happened."

Evan nods as he kisses my knuckles. "I'm sorry that I hurt you." I nod, not saying a word. I appreciate that he acknowledges the pain he caused me. I look at the clock. It reads 2:36 AM.

I stifle a yawn and lie down on his bed, crawling under the blanket. He spreads out on the bed and cuddles me as we feel the bed sink when Angus jumps up.

I've never been good at showing my feelings, so I'll probably never tell him about crying to Aria and Faith and not feeling good enough. I doubt I'll share that I had a relapse of the anxious thoughts that used to haunt my brain, and I'm sure I won't converse with him about looking in the mirror and hearing that voice whisper again. It wasn't as loud as before, but it was there.

You're getting fat again. No wonder Evan kissed another girl.

I sighed and tried to focus on the fact that Evan loved me, Aria and Faith loved me, my parents loved me and Angus loved me, but it was a struggle.