Panem High (ON HOLD)

Chapter 18

Clove's POV

   I follow Glimmer into the media room. I can't believe what just happened. We sit down next to each other on the couch. There's a moment of silence before I say,

  "Glimmer? Are you okay? Wait, that was a dumb question, of course you're not okay, you just broke up with your boyfriend because he's in love with your best friend and...wow I am not making this any better am I? Ugh, I'm so sorry, I'm trying to be the supportive best friend you need right now, but I really don't know what to say except for I'm sorry. I'm so sorry you went through all of this."

  She looks up, wiping away the tears streaming down her face. She smiles weakly. "Clove, it's okay," she says with a tired voice. "I know you mean well. And I get why you can't think of anything to say, because there's really nothing you can do. But you don't have to apologize. You didn't force Cato to develop feelings for you."

  My stomach does a little somersault at these words, and I instantly feel guilty. I can't be excited about that. I'm here to help Glimmer, and I don't want to make her feel worse by letting her find out that I secretly have feelings for Cato as well. I smile back sadly. "I know it's not my fault," I say. "But I'm just sorry it happened. You're such an amazing person, and you shouldn't have had to go through any of that. Cato's a jerk." It pains me a little to say that, though what he did was douchy. 

  She looks at me with a teeny sparkle in her eye. "Now I know you don't mean that," she says with a slight smile. "I know you're in love with him too."

  My eyes widen, and I can feel my face getting ridiculously red. "Wh-wh-what?" I say, trying to act like I have no idea what she's talking about. I feel that I'm failing though. "What are you saying about?" I mentally slap myself.  Just because Cady said it in Mean Girls and it got past Regina doesn't mean it'll work now! Come on Clove!

  "Clove, come on, don't deny it," she says, still with a slight smile. "I'm your best friend. We've known each other since we were babies, we've been inseparable since the day we met. I know every little fact about you, and you know every fact about me. Do you really think that I didn't know?"

  "Wait, what?!" I exclaim, realizing what she said. She knew, but still dated him?! What kind of best friend does that?! "You knew? You knew! Yet you still dated him?! You still kissed him right in front of me, and talked about him every sleepover we had?!"

  Her green eyes widen. "No! No, Clove, oh god no! God I'm sorry, I said that so wrong! Please don't leave before letting me explain!" 

 I sigh. "No Glimmer, I'm not going to leave. Only a total drama queen would do that. But I am pretty pissed right now, so you might wanna hurry up with that explanation."

  She takes a deep breath. "Okay, so as you know, I've know for a while that Cato had feelings for you. But it was only a couple of weeks ago that I realized that you felt the same way about him. And...and...Clove I'm so selfish! I got scared! I was so scared! You know how in elementary school, I was the overweight nerd whom everyone made fun of?"

  I nod, remembering every time I protected her against the mean girls who made fun of her. They were horrible. They called her, "The Glimmering Cow". Yeah, not very original, but to elementary schoolers it was hurtful. Glimmer and I went to the same elementary school, then met Cato, Marvel, Finnick, Annie, Johanna, and Peeta in middle school. 

  "Well, you know already that after that I started taking care of myself, eating right and exercising. I was always scared that no boys would ever like me. Then when Cato asked me out, all of that fear went away. I was happy. I was so so happy. But then, about 4 or 5 months ago, I realized that he didn't love me anymore. He loved you, but was scared of hurting me, and of how you would react. That's why he didn't break up with me, and was so scared of losing me. He didn't want to act on his feelings for you. And then a couple of weeks ago I knew you loved him too. I didn't break up with him then because I was scared. I loved him so much, and I still love him, and even though it was such broken relationship, at least it was a relationship. That was good enough for me."