One step before me

-{Chapter 3: Being a hero}-

Somehow I managed to survive the first two lessons before lunch. I quickly went to the cafeteria and bought some food before heading outside, towards the schoolyard. I found an empty spot- more like I found a place where I could eat in peace without people being near me. This way I will avoid getting bullied. Wait. Why do I feel like I am acting like a kid?

I finished my food in peace, not wanting to think about the lessons, mostly because it all was like gibberish in my ears. I am not joking, but I really couldn't understand what the teacher was talking about in chemistry, it was like some alien language, and the same goes for physics. I don't remember ever learning about these things.

I finished my food and was about to raise up, but then my eyesight started to darken. Nothing but darkness was being shown in my sight. I leaned against the wall and then sat on the ground while leaning my head on the wall now too. This is familiar. I know where this is heading. I know what this is... this has happened before. This is... the visions I get. But since when did I start to get them? I can't really remember...

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

The air was cold. His eyes looked cold. My body felt cold. Everything felt so cold...

My fingers felt like they were frozen and about to fall off, my hands turning blue. I can't go back. If I do, that serial killer won't let me live. I looked up at the sky. The night has already befallen. I couldn't feel my feet anymore. The snow was over my knee height, so it was of course hard to walk in it. But I kept going on. The fear of that man finding me was screaming in every cell in my body.

My sister's fate was harsh, dying in a painful way. That man was heartless, maybe even worse. She was strong, unlike me who always needed protection from her. She even took the pain that was supposed to be mine. Being able to torture someone that way is inhuman. The guy was insane. A murderer is a murderer after all. My head and body were feeling heavy. The cold air was slapping my cheeks. I couldn't feel my face either. The last time I saw her... was her dead body. I know that it was quite selfish of me to think that she had to survive. Secondly, you can't predict death. Everyone has their breaking point. When I reached my hand out in the small dark room, I wanted to tell her that we could finally escape together. That I have finally managed to make a way through. That she didn't need to suffer anymore. That we finally could be like free birds as we once were.

I called her name and shook her, hoping for she was in a deep sleep. A few minutes passed by, and fear was taking over every inch in my body. I shook her once more and nothing but silence was given as an answer.

But deep down in my heart, I knew that it was too late. I shook her once again, this time making her turn towards me. My heart skipped a beat. The small candle made it less hard to see through the darkness. Her hand was a few inches away from my own, her fingers nowhere to be seen. It was hard to tell where she was looking at, due to her missing eyes.

I was in pain, but somehow I couldn't cry. My heart was feeling... cold. It was like it got frozen in that split second. Is this my fate too?

If I died like that, wouldn't it make her sad?

Looking back was painful. Even so, I can't help but feel like the villain. I let my sister die, and having no option but to run away from my life. Eating human flesh is awful. Never once did it cross my mind that even humans could be monsters when I was younger.

I fell down in the snow, not being able to rise up again. I couldn't feel my body. My head felt twice as heavy as before. I stood still in the snow. Maybe if I sleep for a bit this head and heavy body would feel lighter.