Book of Quotes

The Sword of Summer

Magnus Chase and the Gods of Asgard: The Sword of Summer

- "Could you do a glamour and turn into something smaller?" I asked it. "Preferably not a chain, since it's no longer the 1990s?"

The sword didn't reply (duh), but I imagined it was humming at a more interrogative pitch, like, Such as what?

"I dunno. Something pocket-size and innocuous. A pen, maybe?"

The sword pulsed, almost like it was laughing. I imagined it saying, A pen sword. That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

-"Hearthstone Passes Out Even More than Jason Grace (Though I Have No Idea Who That Is)"

-"Myths are simply stories about truths we've forgotten."

-"I hate this plan," I said. "Let's do it."

-"What kind of animal am I eating?'

Sam wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. 'It's named Saehrimnir.'

'Okay, first of all, who names their dinner? I don't want to know my dinner's name. This potato--is this potato named Steve?'

She rolled her eyes. 'No, stupid. That's Phil. The bread is Steve."

-"My name is Magnus Chase. I'm sixteen years old. This is the story of how my life went downhill after I got myself killed."

-"It was an annoying name to have. People tended to spell in Mangus, rhymes with Angus. I always corrected them: No, it's Magnus, rhymes with swagness. At which point they would stare at me blankly."

-"Because Anno Domini, in the Year of Our Lord, is fine for Christians, but Thor gets a little upset. He still holds a grudge that Jesus never showed up for that duel he challenged him to." "Say what now?"

-"They're not dead," I told the goat. "They both have pulses." "Oh." The goat sighed. "Well, give them a few more hours and they'll probably be dead." "What is wrong with you?" "Everything," said the goat."

-"People said the towers looked like giant salt and pepper shakers, but I'd always thought they looked like Daleks from Doctor Who."

-"I gave the dwarves an arrogant look, like, Yeah, that's right. I've got a talking disco sword and you don't."

-"Another yap shook the room. Broken branches tumbled to the floor. "Wh-what's up there?" I asked, my knees shaking. I thought about the Norns' prophecy, naming me a harbinger of evil. "Is it-the Wolf?" "Oh, much worse," Blitzen said. "It's the Squirrel."

-"Wrongly chosen, wrongly slain, A hero Valhalla cannot contain. Nine days hence the sun must go east, Ere Sword of Summer unbinds the beast."

- "I smiled. "So this horse is your nephew, Sam?"

She glared at me. "Let's not go there."

"How did your dad father a horse?"

Blitzen coughed. "Actually, Loki was Sleipnir's mother."

"What--?"

"Let's definitely not go there," Sam warned."

-"One guy wore nothing but a Speedo. He'd painted himself blue and was armed only with a baseball bat. Across his chest were the words COME AT ME, BRO."

-"I am Hel," she agreed. "Sometimes called Hela, though most mortals dare not speak my name at all. No jokes, Magnus Chase? Who the Hel are you? What the Hel do you want? You look Hela bad. I was expecting more bravado."

-"Well, yes, I call it the Expando-Duck. It's perfect if you need a small metal duck. Or a larger metal duck."

-"My eyes were gray-more like my cousin Annabeth's than my mom's."