Book of Quotes

After Ever Happy

After Ever Happy by Anna Todd (AKA imaginator1D)

- "My problem isn't drinking. It's only when I'm pissed-off- and drink -- that's when there's a problem."

- I wouldn't fuck her with the bald bartender's dick."

- "This strange little specimen of a kid is my fucking brother"

- "'You'll learn that women are always mad.'

He nods. 'Unless they die. Like my mom did.'

My mouth falls open and I look at his face. 'You shouldn't say shit like that. People will find it . . . odd.'"

- "I begin to wonder if I'm even awake right now, or if this is another nightmare"

- "I can't help but draw comparisons to the shitstorm I've made of of my life."

- "You know your opinion doesn't mean shit to me"

- "You are allowed to feel how you want to fucking feel, and no one can say shit about it."

- "Don't you let any of those snobby fuckers make you feel bad for how you feel."

- "You know, if I didn't fucking hate metaphors."

- "Fuck, I want to smash his fucking head open and watch his brain matter pour out. I want to so fucking bad"

- "Do you need to show you how to download the best porn, too? I joke, and I'm awarded another flush of her cheeks"

- "Why the hell are we discussing Karen while naked?"

- "That, followed by Sarah, Sonya, S'whoraces -- whatever the hell her name is -- and Landon eye-fucking her across the dinner table, has bored me to death"

- "I don't think Landon or pregnant Karen would appreciate seeing me naked. Well, maybe they would"

- "Why are there so many of these damn things? When would anyone ever need to send a picture of a tiger, for fuck's sake?"

- "I've called forty-nine times.

Forty-nine fucking times.

Forty-nine.

Do you know how many rings that is?

A fucking lot."

- "The same woman who happens to be marrying my fuckup of a sperm donor?"

- "Hardin, 1 Kimberly and her shitty food and annoying questions, 0"

- "Hardin, 2

Not that I'm keeping score or anything . . .

But if I were . . . I'd be winning."

- "'You would think you guys are talking about porn,' I say much too loud"

- "What's wrong with wearing normal clothes during the ceremony? My street clothes would already be color coordinated with mass of black anyway"

- "'You ready, you crazy bastard?' I ask Landon one last time.

'No, but I will be when I see her.'"

- "'We are the least romantic couple that's ever been; you know that, right?' My tongue swipes over her soft lips.

'Romance is overrated, realism is in,' she quotes from my latest novel."

- "Auden came walking into the room with his backpack on his shoulders and headphones in his ears. He was obsessed with music and art, and I loved that"