Book of Quotes

The Eternity Code

Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code by Eoin Colfer

- “If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.” 

- “I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.”

- “Listen to me, goblin. You're stupid, let's accept that and move on.” 

- “And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.” 

- “A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.” 

- “We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon.” 

- “That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy."

Pex was unrepentant. "Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things."

But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror."

I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?"

Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me.” 

- “No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order à la carte. Or don't you serve fish to minors?” 

- "It's more difficult than it looks. "

- “Jon Spiro had not hired Pex and Chips for their debating sills. In the job interview, they had only been set one task. A hundred applicants were handed a walnut and asked to smash it however they could. Only two succeeded. Pex had shouted at the walnut for a few minutes, then flattened it between his giant palms. Chips had opted for a more controversial method. He placed the walnut on the table, grabbed is interviewer by the ponytail, and used the man's forehead to smash the nut. Both men were hired on the spot. They quickly established themselves as Arno Blunt's most reliable leiutenants for in-house work. They were not allowed outside Chicago, as this could involve map reading, something Pex and Chips were not very good at.” 

- “The only other scenario that could explain everything, up to and including your own bizarre apperance, is a convoluted conspiracy theory involving the Russian Mafia and a crack team of plastic surgeons.” 

- “When the moment comes, will you take your chance to be a hero?” 

- “So, Mr. Digence, home to visit the family?"

"That's right. My mother's folks are from Killarney."

"Oh, really?"

"O'Reilly, actually. But what's a vowel between friends?"

"Very good. You should be on the stage."

"It's funny you should mention that."

The passport officer groaned. Ten more minutes and his shift would have been over. "I was being sarcastic, actually. . ."

"Because my friend, Mr. McGuire, and I are also doing a stint in the Christmas pantomime. It's Snow White. I'm Doc, and he's Dopey."

The passport officer forced a smile. "Very good. Next."

Mulch spoke for the entire line to hear. "Of course, Mr. McGuire there was born to play Dopey, if you catch my drift."

Loafers lost it right there in the terminal. "You little freak!" he screamed. "I'll kill you! You'll be my next tattoo! You'll be my next tattoo!"

Much tutted as Loafers disappeared beneath half a dozen security guards.

"Actors," he said. "Highly strung.” 

- “You guys looking for my dad? People are always, like, looking for him, and he's never around. Daddy is so not here. And I mean that literally and spiritually.” 

- “The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys to the toilet.” 

- "And to drink?"

"Spring water. Irish, if you have it. And no ice, please. As your ice is no doubt made from tap water, which rather defeats the purpose of spring water.”

- “Together we will be unstoppable.” 

- “Careful, Mr. Spiro, guns are dangerous. Especially the end with the hole.” 

- “The sarcasm made a slight whistling noise as it flew over Loafers' head.” 

- “Jon Spiro might have “stuff ” that the military didn’t have, but Artemis Fowl had “stuff ” that humans had never seen.” 

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Next: Romeo and Juliet