Suicide ↠ Kellic

Kellin

I'm coughing like a bitch wtf

Edited

I shouldn't be jealous, she's a girl for god sake, and he's gay, gay. He likes boys, he likes me, I hope.

Why am I so bothered about him being close to her?

I let out a frustrated cry, turning to hit the wall I was stood beside before collapsing onto the bed, burying my face into the palm of my hands.

She's a fucking girl. Why I am so upset? Vic doesn't like her.

"Fuck," I groaned, clenching my throbbing fists.

An almost sarcastic cough made me jump. At the door stood Vic.

"Vic?"

"Hey, Kel." I fucking love the way he says Kel.

"Hi."

"So," he paused, stepping into the room, "what's up?"

"Nothing," I grumbled, attempting to avoid his gaze.

"I'm pretty sure somethings up," he raised an eyebrow.

"I'm fine."

"I've said 'I'm fine' so many times I know that you're lying," Vic sighed, "please just tell me what's wrong."

"Vic, please just leave it, I'm fine, okay?"

He only sighed, rubbing his temples before sitting down on his bed.

It wasn't long before I was lying down, attempting to get some sleep before the next day.

12:01am

I really need to sleep.

01:32am

I've been sleeping well lately.

02:04am

Why can't I sleep?

02:57am

I like Vic, a lot.

03:22am

Maybe I should go and lie with him.

03:59am

I can hear him tossing and turning.

04:20am

I'm doing it.

04:21am

I stood up, looking at Vic's sleeping figure. He looked almost angelic. The only thing better than looking at Vic, is looking at him when he's sleeping. The sadness permanently etched into his eyes is gone, the distressed creases on his forehead are smoothed out, and looks of anxiety or panic are rid from his face. He looked genuinely peaceful.

How could someone so attractive be so messed up?

His personality was fucking fantastic as well, the only person he ever hurt was himself, other than that, I doubt he could hurt a fly.

He shifted in his bed, letting out a groan, then turned to face the wall. I cautiously took a step closer to his bed, careful not to wake him.

Taking a deep breath, I raised the cover slightly, sitting in the spare spot, then lied down.

"Kel," he yawned.

"Shit," I cursed, upset that I'd woke him.

"Go back to sleep, baby."

Baby. What the fuck?

Hopefully he won't remember.

"M'kay," he moaned, tiredly.

He wrapped his arm tightly around me, drifting off into a deep slumber.

I took this chance to think.

I don't not like being gay, I just wish my family wasn't against it. I'd been raised to believe that homosexuals were bad, gay was wrong. My parents were strong Catholics, but I knew I was different.

I knew that some of the friendly feelings towards guys were more than just a little friendly.

I tried to deny it, but I couldn't help it, I got girlfriends to try and avoid guys, to talk myself out of it. It was a stage, I would tell myself, it wasn't always going to be this way.

But as I matured a little, my feelings for boys grew, I knew it wasn't a stage.

I had come to accept it, but I knew one thing, I knew that my parents would never accept that I was gay. Therefore, I had to keep my love life a secret. My mom would beg me to tell her about the girls I was dating. I'd lie and say fake names, tell her I was dating someone. When she asked to meet them I'd think of excuses.

My dad was naturally angry. Dropping a plate would cause him to scream and ground me, if I didn't get him a beer he wouldn't let me sit down until I got him one. I knew that if he knew about my sexuality I would get looked down upon. Possibly kicked out of my own home.

05:11am

I need to sleep.

05:42am

I'm tired.

06:00am

Maybe I'll sleep soon.

06:23am

I have to be up in two hours.

06:30am

Finally, some sleep.

JUST A SHITTY FILLER WHOOPS

420 BLAZE IT MOTHER FUCKERS

BYE

Future me-

Lol this was shit wth