Suicide ↠ Kellic

Vic

I might do it from Vic's pov more often BC it's more interesting. Idk.i can't think of much to write with Kellin so...
I have 1 more week at school until I get two weeks off so I'm buzzin.
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Kellin confronted me today, it was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

"Vic!"

I ignored him, pacing down the corridor, if there was one thing I couldn't do at the moment was face Kellin.

"Vic, goddamn it, listen to me!"

I couldn't do it.

"VIC!" his palm grasped my sweater, yanking me back into his chest.

"Oh," I muttered, looking down, ashamed.

"Tell me what I've done," he looked at me with sad eyes, "please."

I cringed.

"I..." I looked around, looking for Michael, I couldn't see him.

Quickly, I leaned forward and kissed him before pulling back and shaking my head.

"One last time," my voice trembled, "I love you."

I bit my lip, holding back tears as I ran away from the boy I love.

I loved him.

That was 4 days ago. I can't bare to look at him without wanted to cry. I've cried so much lately, I've gone to how I originally felt, suicidal and depressed. I hate myself so fucking much for doing this to Kellin. All I'm doing is confusing the poor boy. I want him to hate me so he doesn't have to go through the pain I'm putting him through, yet at the same time I couldn't bare it if he hated me.

But, we've only got three more days to go.

The once fucked up kids from my group therapy are now a lot better. We've been told we're allowed to leave within 3-7 days with parental consent, but considering my 18th birthday is in 4 days I was told that I can leave then.

Kellin got taken home yesterday, they let him out because his mom said it was okay.

I'm glad he's finally out of this shit tip, but at the same time I miss him more than ever.

Michael has got a lot of time left in here so I feel like once I'm out I'd be finally free.

"Vic," my therapist spoke, snapping me away from my thoughts, "how do you feel about leaving here?"

"Good," I said confidently, "I get to see my brother, I haven't seen him since a few weeks ago."

"That's good, when are you leaving?"

"Tuesday, my birthday."

She hummed, "three days," she noted something in the note pad, "I presume you don't want to hear this, however I have to ask everyone. If your in need of any sort of help, feel troubled or anything from the past, I have to ask that you come and see us again, you do not have to stay, you can simply come for therapy, group or solo."

I merely nodded, sending a small resourcing smile to the woman.

If I felt bad about myself again, I most definitely will not come back here. Not with Michael close by.

"Well Vic, this is your last full session with me, you will have a ten minute checkup with me on the day you leave, but other than that, goodbye."

"Thank you," I said honestly, "this place has really helped me."

She smiled before dismissing me.

"Victor."

I grimaced, "Michael."

He stood, leant against the wall beside my therapy room.

"Kellins not here anymore," he smirked, "and you probably won't see him again."

I just shrugged, I knew it was unlikely that I would find Kellin after this, however I still had hope, I would ask around.

"That means I can do this," he grabbed my shoulders and viciously pushed me against the wall, pressing his rough, chapped lips against mine.

Angrily, I shoved him off me.

"Get off me you phsyco," I spat, wiping my lips, "you are not capable of love, you're a cold blooded killer, why would people love you?"

He growled before storming away down the corridor, leaving me alone.

I cringed as I repeatedly wiped my lip, attempting to get everything Michael had left there off my lips.

The canteen was next to empty, everyone had had their lunch.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw Jaime and Tony enjoying a sandwich, Tony laughing at something Jaime had said. I missed his playful jokes.

I went to sit by them, however when they noticed me, they glared at me, shaking their heads.

I felt alone, but hopefully that will change.

The second I get out, I'm turning my life around. No more wallowing in self hatred, no more depression or anxiety, I'm going to find Kellin, show him how much I love him. I'm going to be social, I'm not going to be anxious anymore.

I'm going to be free.

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Yes G