Phil sat alone in his room. He didn't want to leave it for a long while. He knew that much. And he was okay with wasting all his time, just sitting alone in his room.
Because Phil was having a hard time pretending. He was having a hard time coping without Dan. But he was trying, and he was trying hard, but it wasn't enough, and he was relapsing back into his old self: the old self that wanted to kill himself, the old self that tried to kill himself and failed.
Phil always knew he was a failure. He couldn't even kill himself. He was a failure.
And all he could do was lay beneath the duvet, feeling emotionless, just thinking about his stupid life that he couldn't even take.
He felt so alone. He felt so small, like he wasn't good enough for anyone. He knew he wasn't, obviously. He wasn't even good enough for Dan.
By this time, Phil heard his phone buzz on the table. He turned and looked at it, knowing it was probably from his mum or PJ or something.
He wasn't expecting the words: 'New message from: Dan Howell' though.
He picked up the phone and read the message.
'Phil, I'm sorry if you don't like me anymore. But I'm breaking up with Nick. Today after school. And I want to see you. I want you to meet me there. I... I want to kiss you again. I do. I really like you, Phil. So please, come after school to the park. Please.
Love, Dan x'.
Phil couldn't even process what he just read. But what he did know for sure, was that he was going to the fucking park after 3:00. He was going to see Dan again.
And for the first time in a long time, Phil smiled.
He decided to get out of bed. He grabbed some clean clothes and left his bedroom. He walked into the bathroom and stripped himself of his clothes.
He turned on the warm water of the shower, stepping into it and just sighing, content.
He was just satisfied that he'd be seeing Dan again. That maybe he'd kiss him again.
And for the first time in a while, Phil was okay. He was okay again, because Dan made Phil happy, and that was okay.
And Dan was breaking up with Nick, and somehow, Phil knew it'd all be alright.
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Hi. One chapter left. Triple update anyone?
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Therapy (Phan)
FanfictionPhil Lester is depressed and suicidal, so his mom makes him go to therapy. There he meets Dan Howell, another depressed boy. The two get along, and sparks fly.
