Therapy (Phan)

14: And you can keep all your misery.

Dan never felt more happy. He was going to end things with Nick, he was going to possibly have Phil, and he was going to help him get better. Dan and Phil wouldn't have to go to therapy anymore. They'd be okay. They'd be happy.

Dan was watching the clock on the wall in math for the past fifteen minutes. He knew it wouldn't be long before he'd get the fuck out of there.

The clock seemed to be ticking so slowly, as if Dan was meant to be stuck in fucking math class forever.

Instead of watching the clock, he decided to figure out what to say to Nick. Perhaps just a simple 'I'm breaking up with you' with no explanation, or perhaps he'd say like 'it's not working out' or just tell him how it was, although Dan reckoned that if he just told him how it was, things wouldn't go down too well.

He just decided on the first. A simple 'I'm breaking up with you, its not you, its me, things weren't working out between us and I doubt they can be fixed', blah blah blah, all that bullshit.

Dan sighed out and waited for the bell to ring. It was so close to three o'clock and math was his last class of the day. He was anxious and wanted school to end quicker than he ever wanted before.

He really wanted Phil. He just wanted to hold him, to kiss him, everything. Because Phil was his sunshine, and when he was gone, Dan felt like the whole world was gloomy.

In a world without Phil Lester, Dan knew all his days would be gloomy. In a world without Phil Lester, Dan was depressed and lonely, despite everyone around him. In a world without Phil, Dan struggled to get out of bed in the morning and the air was harder to breathe. In a world without Phil, the skies seemed not so clear and gray, and the stars didn't seem to shine as bright.

In a world without Phil Lester, in a world where he never existed, Dan would be dead.

Dan knew he'd no longer have to live in a world without Phil Lester, because he'd have Phil Lester right beside him, and that's all Dan wanted.

Just then, the bell blared and all the students began to leave. Dan couldn't have been happier to leave school.

He left rather quickly, making his way to the park with no problems. Nick was already there waiting for him. Dan knew this was it. It was over between them.

Dan checked his phone. 3:15pm.

He walked to Nick, feeling relieved already. He knew that this would be easy.

"Nick," Dan said, smiling widely. Nick raised an eyebrow; he didn't know why Dan was smiling, but he'd find out eventually, within a matter of minutes.

"Dan, what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?" Nick sighed, acting bored when on the inside, he was slightly confused, yet curious and scared all at once.

Dan took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Just say it. He opened his eyes.

"Nick, I'mbreakingupwithyou."

He exhaled loudly, feeling relieved again.

Nick tilted his head to the side. "What? Jesus Christ, Dan, slow the fuck down."

Dan breathed again. "I, Dan Howell, am breaking up with you, Nick Jonas."

Well, Nick felt retarded.

"You're what?"

"I'm breaking up with you. It's not you, it's me. We're not working out. We never did. Sorry."

Dan took a notice of how Nick wasn't paying much attention now, but probably to the fucking flowers behind Dan. That, was annoying.

"Okay," Nick uttered, looking at Dan now. Dan was taken aback slightly. "Can- can I just have one last kiss? Then I'll leave you alone for good. I know you don't live me anymore, so..."

"Okay," Dan breathed, genuinely surprised, but relieved nonetheless.

Nick closed the gap between their lips and they kissed. It didn't feel like it was supposed to when you liked someone.

Nick pulled away. "Bye, Dan," he sighed, before walking off somewhere.

Dan was elated. That was so fucking easy. How?

Dan texted Phil, noticing how Phil seemed to have lost track of time or something.

'I'm coming over now. It's done. Nick and I are over.'

He smiled to himself as he walked to Phil's house. He noticed that Mrs. Lester wasn't home by the lack of car in the driveway. He opened up the front door and walked inside.

"Phil!" Dan called out, large smile on his face. He ran up the stairs and opened up Phil's door.

Phil was a curled up, sleeping on his bed. He looked so peaceful, his chest gently rising and falling. Dan smiled at the sight.

There was a small note on the nightstand. It was all folded up, with to Dan written on the front. Dan unfolded it and read what was there.

Dan became still.

'Goodbye, my almost lover. Goodbye my hopeless dream. I'm trying not to think about you. Can't you just let me be?
So long, my luck less romance. My back is turned on you. I should've known you'd bring me heartache. Almost lovers always do.

I love you, Dan. I always did.

-Phil'

Dan threw the paper and turned to Phil. He tried to shake him awake, but Phil wouldn't budge.

"Phil," Dan said, panicking. He kept shaking Phil.

That's when he took notice of the blood on the bedsheets and more importantly,

The fucking blood and cuts on Phil's wrists.

"Phil!" Dan cried. He knew that Phil was still alive, so he whipped out his cell phone. He dialed 999 and called for an ambulance.

He held Phil in his arms. He kissed his lips. Frankly, he didn't know if Phil would make it now, but he hoped for the best, because a world without Phil Lester is a world he wouldn't want to live in.

And tears dripped down his cheeks. He rocked Phil back and forth.

"Y- you are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are gray. Y- you'll never know, dear, how much i love you. Please don't take my sunshine away..."

-

Well that's the end of this fic. Bye love u all ♡♡