Rumor Has It

Chapter 33: Blurry

These next for days I was in a haze. The only memories I have are split.

Everything with Jessica seemed silly. Because this pain was much worse. It felt like I was repeatly being hit over and over. The sadness just tumbled down.

I feel so many emotions I can't think. I feel like I'm being burned alive.
**

He's gone. Just gone.

One moment he was there. I know he was. I was laying on his lap finally having him back and then we was gone.

I can still hear his laugh.
**

I remember when the last time I saw him before the funeral was. It was about two months before and he had came to visit.

The first thing we did was go out to eat. We went to get pizza and the whole time we were laughing.

And that was it. That was my last memory with him. That day was all I really have. But it was one of the best. After pizza I went and he slept over.

The next morning he took me out to dunkin donuts, his favorite place.

There we just sat there drinking and eating and just staying together. And of course he had to leave very soon.

And we said goodbye never expecting to see each other briefly and then not talking. Because why would you expect that.

I didn't expect him to die when I was sleeping in his lap.

I just miss him.
**

"Alsion" I'm being shaken softly from my slumber

When I open my eyes I see my dad.

"Daddy?" He grabs me and pulls me into his arms. Then he carries me to the guest room where I can sleep some more.
**

Mmmm. I smell bacon. I smile and get up from my papas guest room.

When I walk into the kitchen I see my daddy making breakfast. He's making eggs and bacon.

When he looks up and sees me he smiles. And then I see him. I actually see his real smile. The real him. Finally I regonize him.

A tear roles down my cheek and I feel the cold water slowly lowering down my face. It feels amazing. To have a happy tear during a sad time.

He finishes making the eggs and bacon and sets plates out for us at the table. Then he pulls out my chair for me and I sit down, slouching in my PJs.

"Alison" he begins to speak "I am so sorry. I haven't been here for you. But your Papas gone and I'm here. He called me right before he died. When you were sleeping on him. And he said it was the happiest day of his life"

"Daddy, I just missed you. Just promise to never leave again" I held out my pinkie.

He chuckled and pinky swore on it. "Me and you Aly, forever"

The we ate our breakfast together for once in a long time.
**

My phone is ringing for the fifth time today. I would answer but I'm kind of busy. You know at my grandpas funeral and all.

I regret the call without checking the id and listen to the preacher at the church. He's talking about my grandpa.

I set up this funeral. Basically we're having the traditional part,then everyone can go up and make a speech. If they want.

There are a lot of people here. Like a lot. Some old some young and some middle aged. It seems like my grandpa was a loved person.

One after one people go up and make speech's. I don't really know or regonize anyone here. Every once in a while I get an ocassional hello from someone who remembers me when I was just a little girl.

Finally everyone who's spoken is done. I get out of my seat and get ready for the closing speech. My legs feel like Jello as I walk in front of everyone. There eyes are on me and I feel so uncomfortable.

I bring my mouth to the mike.

"Um hi" I look down "So in case you didn't know, Joe was my Grandpa, or Papa. And um I love him very much. He was um. Um."

Oh my God. I'm choking and freaking out. I need to breathe. Just calm down. Calm down. Calm down. I can't calm down!

While all these thoughts are racing though my mind my dad comes right next to me and grabs my hand. He squeezes and I calm down.

I start over "OK sorry about that. Just a little bit nervous. Anyways, my Papa was a great man. He loved everyone so much. And honestly I would not trade anything for another day with him. Because he was sick. And he fought long enough. He stayed alive until he could see me again. And then he was happy. And that's okay. Because he died happy. And that's something we all wish to accomplish."

People begin to clap and then stand up. And that's when I fell apart and cried my eyes out.
**

I wake up hearing a reassuring voice soothe me. Its a fimilar voice that I know and love. For a second I think its Papa. But then I realize its not. He's gone.

"Daddy" I try to sit up but I'm not strong enough

"Shhh Alison its alright. Just go back to sleep" he gently holds me down

I try to sit up again "No Daddy its not! I have to get up." My voice sounds tired, I don't regonize it.

He just keeps me down and soothes me. Until finally he speaks "Its okay to be weak. You don't always have to be strong. Sometimes you can just let go"

"You mean like grandpa?"

He gives me a puzzled look. To which I respond "He gave up at the end. He just stopped fighting his sickness"

There it is. I finally said it. How I feel.

"Honey, he didn't give up. He lived"

I smile at this and realize that he's right. Then I lay back down for good and shut my eyes. Because right now, I need rest.
**

End of the chapter. What did you think?

Thanks for reading, have a good day :)