He Said. (Asa Butterfield)

20- Final

A/N: lmao who saw this coming 

Texas.

Texas, of all states with available jobs, my mother chose Texas. Still not Nebraska. And we couldn't at least have stayed in London? Or anywhere in the U.K.? I can't call any of my friends or my beautiful boyfriend because of that international junk. It kills me. This move is going to kill me. Honestly, I want to kill me.

I didn't sleep at all last night, and now I have to get ready for school. How amazing.

I looked at my uniform on my floor, which was only there because thats where I threw it the previous day after school, and I actually liked it. I liked my uniform. I loved it, kind of.

I crawl off my bed and put the damn thing on, along with my knockoff vans. Screw makeup, screw brushed hair, a bun will be fine.

I don't wash my face, there's no point. And as gross as it sounds, I just let my toothbrush dangle in my mouth as I stare at my refection. My eyes are puffy and I look drained, I am drained. And done. Done with existing to be honest.

I lazily and briefly brush my toothbrush around my mouth and spit into the sink and head downstairs. My mom is still asleep, she was up late watching Netflix while packing.

Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention that I leave for America. . . tomorrow afternoon. Yippee.

I skip my breakfast and sit on the floor in my living room, most of our furniture was already gone, all we had was a fridge, our mattresses. . . and sadly that's it. Of course we had bathroom junk and some clothes, but everything was already in frickin Texas.

I stare out the window and notice Asa walking outside to his car, so I pick myself up off the floor. I feel so weak, I haven't been eating much. I walk outside and wait for him to pull out of his driveway, I don't feel like running to him today.

When he pulls up, I get in the car and I don't look at him. The more I stare the harder this will be for me. He focuses on the road and doesn't look at me either. After a while, the silence becomes unbearable. I don't say anything, though. I've tried to hide the fact that I was moving back to America. I grab his hand, but he doesn't squeeze it back like he always does, he just holds it.

After a minute or two, I get pissed and make myself face him. "Are you gonna speak to me, today? Or are we just having an off day."

"You've been having many off days these two weeks, Francesca," he looks at me briefly and I think I see tears in his eyes. I may be wrong, though. "Whats up with you? You're not speaking to me, to anyone really. You're quiet. You're not eating at lunch and I want to know what the hell is going on. I'm worried, Francesca."

I face forwards and slouch in my seat and cross my arms. Sighing, I say, "I don't wanna talk about it."

The rest of the ride is quiet, but once we exit the car, Asa grabs my hand-- and he squeezes it. "I love you," he whispers.

Please, not right now. I don't need to know that right now.

I just turn into him and hug him, and I really don't care if people are staring right now. It's not like I'm coming back here anyway.

I want to tell him I love him, too, but if I do I know I'll start crying and I don't think I'd be able to stop.

After I break away from our embrace, I hold his hand again and we walk into school.

At my locker, I grab every single one of my books and shove them into my bag, not using the locker anymore.

First period science, I don't look at Asa. I don't participate in class. I just sit and stare, I think about what things would be like if I never came to Islington, what they would be like if I never left Islington.

I don't feel like buying lunch that day. I just sit at the lunch table, thinking.

"What's going on, Fran," Gemma nudges me.

I sigh and shake my head. "Come with me," we go out into the hallway and as soon as we're in the back bathroom, the supposedly haunted one nobody uses, I break down. "I'm so sorry," I cry, hugging my best friend. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I'm sorry I've been avoiding and ignoring you. I'm so, so sorry."

Gemma holds me tight, trying to comfort me. "Francesca, what do you mean."

"I'm going back," I pull away from the hug. "Back to America, like, tomorrow."

The tears gradually build up in Gemma's eyes, she's crying, too. We just stand there in the haunted bathroom, crying softly.

The bell rings, time for math.

"We gotta go," she sniffs. I wash my face with cold water and Gemma does the same.

When we get to gym later that day, I sit on the sides with Gemma. The PE teacher didn't really care.

Gemma and I talk about everything we've been through in the past year, I can't believe it was already June. We laugh the whole period, we just talk. And laugh so hard at Payton attempting 'football' in her wedged converse.

The car ride home is silent with Asa. I can't bear to look at him. We don't listen to music, we don't speak, but his hand is on my thigh as I stare out the window. This is the last time I'll be driving home from my school.

When he pulls into my driveway, I get out of the car and I don't look at him as I walk up to the front door. My trembling, weak fingers can barley get a hold of my keys, and the end up falling. As soon as the fall, I start to cry. Again.

I run across the street, and Ace is just getting out of his car. I throw myself onto him, hugging him as tight as I can while crying. He doesn't say anything, he just holds me back equally as tight, maybe tighter than I'm holding him.

After the two weeks of tears I built up leave my body, I look him in his beautiful blue eyes. "Can we talk?"

We go inside, straight up to his room. I collapse on his bed, and he does the same. I don't speak for a while, I don't know what to say. I lay down an I face him.

"My moms job. . . she got bankrupt," I choke back my tears. "And, i don't really know how to say this so I'm just going to say it. Her new job is in Texas. We're leaving tomorrow." As soon as that sentence leaves my mouth I regret not telling him sooner, and I tell Asa I regret it. "I jus didn't know how." I sob.

We lay on his bed until the next morning, and he holds me in our last hours together. Our laughs, our arguments, everything plays through my mind as I'm curled up against him. I never want to move from this spot. I want to stay here forever.

My hand finds his and our fingers entwine. "I love you," I tell him.

"I love you," he said.

---

A/N: HIHIHIHIHIHIHI I KNOW IT'S BEEN TWO YEARS BUT I FORGOT MY PASSWORD AND EMAIL TO THIS ACCOUNT AND THIS HAS BEEN SITING IN MY DRAFTS FOR TWO YEARS SO BETTER LATE THEN NEVER. Thank you for reading and supporting my book. I love you all more than you'll ever know<3333

I've been writing a lot lately, you guys are going to love what I have in store. ;)