Shelby LOVERS

Chaper 8 A dose of the TRUTH

Next morning I wake up and Drew is still asleep, looking peaceful.
I go in the living room to fix some tea and gather my thoughts. I call the school and tell them I need to take personal time because of the situation and I don't know when I'll be back. I fix some tea and eat a cream cheese bagel with a side of fruit.
It feels good to have some personal time with just me and my thoughts, they soon get interrupted when my bell rings. It's Chris at the door waiting with pancakes eggs and bacon it smells great "Can I come in please."
I'm thinking do I really want to deal with this? And I can't keep on hiding what I feel for Drew, but do I really want Chris to see Drew in his boxer come out the room? Ugh!
"Hello Shells snap out of it",
"Sure just come in."
I take the food and put in on the counter. I literally feel sick to my stomach, I never had this much morning sickness with Sapphire. Once again I throw up my cream cheese bagel, that was a great bagel. I run to the bathroom, I try to throw up quietly not wanting to wake up Drew and add more fuel to the fire.
To late his light sleeping ass wakes up and run to the bathroom and so does Chris.
I manage to close the door so it could just be me, my kid, and this vomit. When I'm done I brush my teeth take some water and splatter it on my face, not wanting to face what's out there but I have to.
Surprisingly it's very silent, I walk in the living room Chris is on one end of the couch and Drew is on the other.
"Do anyone want some tea coffee or breakfast" calmly I say.
"Are you okay" Chris and Drew say at the same time.
These guys really care about me and I love that about them.
"I'm fine, thanks guys it's just a little morning sickness this baby is much different than Sapphire", their faces light up when I talk about Sapphire and this baby.
I want to keep it but I'm to scared, a lot of questions come to mind when I touch my stomach or get morning sickness.
"My doctors appointment is tomorrow, and I would like to go alone if that's okay with y'all. I have to speak to my doctor about decision and next steps" in a small voice I say to them.
The way Chris and Drew looks at me when I said make a decision was like I'm the scum of the earth.
I can tell they really want me to have this baby but I honestly don't know if that what's best for me.

"Don't you abort this baby Shelby, please let us help you through this. You'll be a great mother and Chris would be a great father. This is our second chance to have something we lost."

You can tell Drew really don't want me to abort this baby, but honestly he has no idea what It feels like to lose something so precious so beautiful.

"I'm not going to beg you to keep my child either way you're going to do what you want, no matter what I feel or say. Because you're still upset with me for leaving you with Sapphire and you're scared that I'll do it again. I'm pretty sure you don't trust me let alone want to have another baby with me."
The truth of the matter is all what Chris said was right was true I don't trust him but I love him.
Chris walks right pass me and slam the door.

"Well that was intense, now that he's gone do you want breakfast in bed babe" i jokingly say.
He walks right pass me and goes in my room, and gathers his things.
"I never lost a child so I can't imagine what you're feeling, especially since you're the one carrying this baby. But what I do understand is me and you will never get farther than a few dates and making love. Yes I said love I am in love with you and I didn't notice until you got pregnant the glow on you is unbelievable. I can understand why Chris wants a baby with you and keep coming back to you. You're amazing Shelby and the sad part is you don't believe it. You will never allow me to love you the way you should be loved or the way I want to love you. You're not ready for it and I didn't notice until now. I want a family with you I want you to be my last and my only, but all you want is breakfast the next morning and sex that night. I told you I will help you through this and you got Chris but all you care about is yourself no one else. When you told me your pregnant with Chris baby I couldn't get upset or mad the only thing I wished was for that to be my baby. I love and care about you so much that I'm willing to be a father figure to a baby that's not mine because I love the mother so much. You're not ready for a serious relationship your not healed from your relationship with Chris and I don't expect you to heal over night. I can't stay here and love you to the world and back when you can't even love me enough to trust this journey. I'm not mad at you, I still love you, I will always be here for you because you're my best friend and if you want me to go tomorrow I will. But for now I need some space."
He kisses me on my lips and left me there, why is this happening to me I don't deserve this none of this. I lost my best friend and my official unofficial boyfriend all because of my baby father. Wanting to say some shit in front of Drew, we would of still been together having sex laying in bed laughing and joking.