Shelby LOVERS

Chapter 22 M.I.A

I haven't heard from Collin in a week, I've been calling him texting him but NOTHING! I'm slowly losing my FUCKING MIND! Brianna and Johan are away on their honeymoon to Dubai for a week. So I've literally been talking to myself about what's been going on. I really don't want to call her, you know she's on her honeymoon I don't want to disturb them. What if saying I was in love with him scared him off and now he doesn't know what to say it. Kleenex has been my best friend, I took everyone advice and it blew up in my fucking face.

Present day:
Its officially been a month since I've spoken to Collin, I'm slowly losing my cool. It's not like I said I wanna marry you damn! It's not like I can walk up to his family and ask them about him since they hate my guts! Montana and I officially live by ourselves, Bri and Johan got a house of there own. She asked me do I still want her to pay half the rent, of course I said no but I have no idea what to do with all this space. She cleared out her things two weeks before the wedding so now I have to do something to her room, that should get my mind off of things. I hear a loud knock at my door and all my hopes and wishes are that it's Collin "who is it" I look through the peak hole and it's Chris. I open the door "don't look so disappointed Shell." I guess my face didn't hide anything "no..no well to be honest I am, I thought you was Collin I haven't heard from him in a month i'm worried." Chris comes up to me and give me a hug and tells it will be okay. "Why are you over here anyway?" Looking at him curiously "Alex had the babies early this morning, and all I wanted to do was come over here and tell you that I wish it was you and our babies. One of them look just like Sapphire Shelby, I'm so deep in I just don't know what to do. I'm a father of two and I'm feeling overwhelmed and scared. Alex want me to name them but all I can think of is Sapphire and Chance, I'm not ready for this Shelby. I'm still very much in love with you, I don't know why I asked Alex to marry me." I can see it in his eyes that he's fearful and with every right to be. But I never expected him to say he's still in love with me, I think that's the fear talking. It was so many times Chris could of came clean with his so called love for me but now isn't the right time. "Listen Chris, I have no advice to give you there's no parenting book to tell us how to do this. But what I do know is you will be a great father to those girls I'm sure of it. The way you handled Sapphire and Chance I would do it all again just to say I had a baby with the best man on earth. Rather you want to believe it or not Alex is the girl your in love with, I see the way you look at her you once gave me that same look. What we had was so epic and most people can't say they lived through what we did. But I can assure you it made both of us the people we are right now. Yes Sapphire and Chance would of had some awesome ass parents but hey life had something else in store for us. I will always love you Chris and I know you will always love me but don't let your fear allow you to think it's being in love with me. I never planned on us actually moving on but we both have to admit how good it feels. Plus now Sapphire and Chance have two other people to look after. All I ask of you and Alex don't name your girls Kris." I kiss Chris on the cheek and give him a long lasting hug. "Thank you Shelby, and you said you didn't have any advice for me. I also see the way you and Collin look at each other, and as annoying as this is you never once looked at me the way you look at him. I know your in love with each other, I don't know what the problem is but I do y'all will fix it." He kisses me on my cheek and head back to the hospital. I sit on my couch wondering what I can do to pass the time. I need to do something so I won't think about Collin. I call my assistant Danny and ask her to get me one of the best design teams to come makeover my home. 3 hours later I meet the very sexy Justin Haze, he's the new designer for my home makeover. Justin is tall, bare face, light brown eyes, jet black hair, he's white. He explained to me he couldn't stay and would I mind having a dinner meeting tonight to discuss the renovations. As badly as I wanted to decline I accepted, this project and some eye candy can get me off of Collin missing in action ass.
Later that night.
Justin told me we're not going anywhere to fancy so I should dress casual. I decided to do all black from head to toe, I feel like I'm betraying Collin by going out with Justin but I need to get out this funk. It's exactly 9:00pm and Justin is right on time looking sexier than ever. I really didn't feel comfortable riding in Justin car it gave me a sense that this was a date but I rode in it anyway. We get to this little joint called Cafeteria, it's a busy place people moving back and forth. Justin takes my hand so I won't get lost in the mix, uncomfortable with the situation I just let things flow. I have to come to grips that Collin may never come back in my life, I can't understand why would he leave me like this if he was so uncomfortable with what I said all he had to do was say something. Interrupting my thoughts the waiter come over and take our order, I order a burger with fries and he has the steak and fries. For a moment after the waiter leaves it become quite between us, "so your assistant seemed pretty persistent on getting your house redone, may I ask what's the rush. Your apartment and you are in very great shape." He gives me smirk, I couldn't help but smile back by the way he put that compliment in there. "Oh your very slick Justin putting that compliment about my body in the conversation, thank you by the way. Anyway my sister recently got married we lived together and I just want to give once what was our apartment is now mine you know a new look." As I'm talking he's staring at my lips, which is turning me on "honestly I didn't just ask you out because of your home, I could've did that early today but I want to get to know you on another level than just business. I'm not asking for a relationship but a couple of conversations and dates if your up to it." This took a turn I didn't see coming, I don't know what to do or say. If I say no and wait for Collin he could never come back, and I could pass up a time to get to know Justin. But if I say yes and we take it there and Collin come back, I can't put Justin myself or Collin in that position again. "Hello Shelby, I see that you spaced out is everything okay?" I look at him with his beautiful light brown eyes "yes, well no everything not okay. Look Justin your a handsome guy and I see your a good person and if I was in the position to be emotionally available I would be. Listen I'm in love with someone I'm not sure that loves me and I haven't heard from him in a month. I don't know where to go from here or what to do." Justin takes my hand and covers it with his, I felt an electric shock but nothing compares to what I feel when I'm with Collin. "Understand Shelby we all have a past or present that keeps us from actually moving on to what's best for us. But can I be honest with you, if he loved you, he would of contacted you already. Why wait for something that might not happen. I'm not taring him down because I want a chance with you I'm just speaking facts. I don't know you but when I saw you today, all I said was I want to get to know this woman." I look at him, his eyes are pure like he has nothing to hide but when I look at Collin eyes all I see is mystery and secrets. We spend the night talking and laughing it really felt like a fresh air coming into my life again. Time flies and Justin and I walk to the car, we get to the door and before Justin opens the door he lends down and kisses me. As bad as I wanted to move my head I couldn't, I felt the connection and I couldn't deny it any longer. I kiss him and this was just that a kiss, it felt good shit it felt great and if I wasn't so stuck on Collin I would take him upstairs with me. The kiss becomes more rough more sensual, he stopped kissing me and started on my neck I couldn't stop him. I wanted to yell stop but my body hasn't felt a mans touch in a very long time. He comes back up to my lips bitting and sucking them, he could of took me right there on his car roof. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" We both hear a voice yelling at us but I couldn't make it out, it was to far away. Justin and I paid it no mind acting like two horny teenagers. "YOU DIDN'T HEAR ME THE FUCKING FIRST TIME, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING SHELBY?" The voice sounds like Collin but when I move away from Justin to see who's talking I see four men coming towards us and none of them look like Collin. Justin looks at me confused "Shelby what's going on, do you know any of these men?" I look up at Justin who looks very defensive he got in front of me as the men approached us. Right now four men is in front of us, they move aside and Collin is behind them he looks like hell I could hardly recognize him. He has a black eye, scars on his face and his right arm is in a sling. I rush over to him forgetting about the four other men and Justin,"what is going on Collin, why does it look like you've got your ass kicked?" Collin stares at me for all of 5 minutes not saying anything but just staring at me, before I can ask him a question again he kisses me forcefully passionately and desperately. I kisses him back with the emotions. "Shelby what fuck is going on?" I turn around from kissing Collin and Justin is staring at me looking disappointed "I can explain, this is Collin this is the guy I was telling about, I'm so sorry Justin for all of this I had such a good time tonight but my heart is with this asshole behind me please don't be mad. I understand if you don't want to work with me anymore." Justin looks angry at me and Collin "you two deserve each other I really hope his ass runs out on your bitch ass again Shelby. You'll see what kind of guy he really is." I can't believe Justin spoke to me in that way, before I can comment back Collin pushes me out the way to get to Justin and punches him in the face "next time you'll think twice of calling her a bitch again. But I do want to say thank you, you showed me what I got and what I never want to let go."