Shelby LOVERS

Chapter 11 Him?

It's been 6 months since I lost Chance, Chris Brianna and Johan has been watching over me like a hawk, I can't blame them. Since I took personal time from the school Bri has been watching over my private practice which I'm very grateful for. I went to my doctors appointment and they have a counselor come to my home to counsel me and Chris, In the beginning I thought it was a waste of time but I can tell its helping Chris and I get through this. I was so dark inside and wasn't sure if there will ever be any light me again. I feel less of a woman because I can't keep a baby, this is the second child that died on my hands maybe it wasn't meant for me to have children or be happy. Who's going to want a woman that can't give you children. My doctor told me the chances of having a miscarriage again is small, I looked at him like are you stupid I will never try to have a baby again. I wonder do I even deserve to be happy, I treated everyone horribly even Bri and she doesn't deserve that at all. My heart was literally broken but with each day it's getting better. It's been 6 months and I haven't gotten out the house, I look a mess my hair and nails are not done. I think I want a change, I think I want to feel different, I just have to want it bad enough and I finally do. If Chris can move on with his life in peace so can I, if it's meant for me to become a mother I will it's all about timing and perpetration. Tiffany has been calling me none stop to give me updates on Drew but I've been ignoring all the calls, she finally got in touch with Brianna. Brianna told me that Drew is doing so much better and will be getting out the hospital tomorrow, he's eating and doing everything on his own. Drew has been calling me every day since he's been awake and found out what happened. I can't bare to answer his calls I was so angry with him because I felt it was his and the drunk driver fault why I lost my Chance. But since counseling and praying its showed me a different way, if it's for me to have children with Chris or with anyone it will happen. It's been 6 months since I've lock myself not only in my apartment but in my room I have no idea what my house or outside looks like anymore.

Fresh start Please.
It's Saturday morning and this is the first time in a long time I got up feeling different, feeling like myself and it feels pretty damn good. I wake up and kiss Montana and hug her like I never did before, I can tell she's very grateful because she kisses me too. I head to the bathroom and blast some music. I start looking at my curly mane and I want a change I love my hair but I would like change. I put my hair in a pony tail and it's hitting a little under the center of my back, I take my hair scissors and trim my hair into a style, I have bangs now. I run me a bath and cry my last cry, I look at my clock and I've been in here for an hour and a half. I get out and my hair is just as black and curly like I Didn't cut it, I put a towel on and let my hair air dry I love how big and how much volume it has. I dry myself off and start to lotion up my body. I look for some clothes to put on I decide to wear a white sheer shirt, white ripped jeans, with a white long length coat and nude heels. My hair looks wildly curly, put on my eyelashes and do my makeup, grab my purse my money and phone. I cut off my music and walk out my room. It's quite in my house I guess Brianna left early this morning while I was sleep, she usually goes to her art studio and then head to my practice to check up on things she left me a note:
Hello butterfly, I know you're going through a battle but remember you're a worrier and you will win. I will be back as soon as possible I left you some food and money just in case you didn't want what's In the kitchen. Montana already was fed so don't worry. Tiffany and Drew has been calling non stop but I told them you're not ready yet and that's okay. Chris called the house phone wanted to know if you need anything before he goes over there later today I told him no. Johan will be over soon to start preparing lunch for us I gave him my key. I love you and will talk to you later.
Cradle to Grave.
Bri xoxoxo

I smile and start to tear up, I love her so much whenever I went through something so distraught Bri will give me my space but huddle at the same time. We use to always say cradle to grave but since our mom died and then Sapphire we stop saying it. It feels good to actually say it again, I give her a little text saying we need to talk I love you and I will be out the house all day call me or text when you get this. I actually don't know where I'm going but I hop in my Lincoln blast some music and drive, I get to my first stop and it's the nail place I decide to get white marshmallow on my nails and feet they look great. I hop back in my car and my phone rings it's Bri, I sound so enthusiastic and she sounds surprise. Bri told me that Johan wants to fix lunch for us since she thought I was still in my funk but I explain to her I would like to go out for lunch. I told her to meet me downtown in 2 hours for lunch and we can do dinner with Johan if she wants. I get off the phone and text everyone to meet at my house tonight at 8pm. I call Johan and ask him if he doesn't mind making dinner for 6 including me and him, I told him to make the menu whatever he likes of course he said yes he loves to cook.
I drive until I get to the hospital I remember that Bri told me Drew was getting out today but didn't say a time. As I walk into the hospital all the memories hit me at once, but I keep on pushing I must face my fears and that's seeing Drew since everything. I walk on his floor and I see the nurse that handled me that day and my heart stops, she gives me a small smile and I wave her to come over "thank you for all you done for me that day, I'm sorry if I snapped or was rude to you. You can point me to Drews Hues room."
"You wasn't rude and you didn't snap you're a mom and I respect that, Mr. Hue is getting ready to leave but he hasn't left yet."
I nod my head and walk to Drew room, I'm taking baby steps because I'm not sure if I want to do this now but I'm already here there's no turning back. I get to his room and Tiffany is helping him get dress, I knock on his door and they're both shocked to see me. I stare at him like I haven't seen him for years and he does the same, he looks so well like nothing ever happened. He's not sure what to say he stares at me very intensely, it's very intimidating. Tiffany breaks the silence "you look very good Shelby if you don't mind me saying, considering everything you look great I love the hair cut."
What's crazy is I actually grew fond of her. "thank you Tiffany, you don't look so bad yourself."
She smiles at me. "I'm going to let you two have some time alone I'll be in the hallway if y'all need me."
"Thank you Tiffany."
I walk up to Drew and give him a hug. I am very happy to see him considering everything we went through. I don't know what I would of done if I lost him too. He hugs me tightly and let's out a big breathe as if he's relieved, I start to cry because for once it feels very normal between us.
"There's so much to say Shelby I just don't know where to start or what to say."
I nod my head because I feel the exact same way, I don't want to ruin the peaceful moment but we do need to talk.
Tiffany walks back in, I can't blame her Drew looks absolutely amazing considering I wouldn't let him off the leash either. Though I really don't know what her and Drew is and where me and Drew stand.
"umm I came here because I'm inviting you and Tiffany to my house for dinner tonight and I would love if you could come it starts at 8pm."
They both said they will come.
I leave the hospital feeling good, not great because me and Drew are still in a weird place but it's better than it was yesterday. I get interrupted by my thoughts when Bri calls, letting me know she's leaving the studio now to meet me downtown for lunch.
I call Chris and he sounds really happy to hear from me and I'm happy to talk to him, I ask him can he come to my house for dinner at 8pm and of course he said yes.
I check on Johan and everything is under control.
I make a quick stop at Barneys to buy Bri a gift I know that she doesn't do stuff for me to get something in return but I have to.
I finally meet Brianna at the restaurant and I run to her like I've haven't seen her in years, I hug her and we both bust out in tears saying everything but nothing at the same time. We sit at our table and I finally get to apologize for being such a bitch to her, also to thank her for taking care of me and Montana. She tells me I look good and she loves my hair cut, I snapped back like i never left. It feels so great to actually talk to Bri without sadly crying and calling her names, I can't believe she put up with me I love her much. "Before we leave I want to say thank you so much again for doing everything for me and Montana I love you so much. Cradle to grave. I also want you to know that I invited everyone over and decided to have an appreciation dinner. Before you say anything else I want to give you a gift for everything open it."
I hand her the box, anxious for her to open it, I know it was something she had her eyes on but wouldn't buy, she thinks priority over want. Even though we don't have kids we have rent, bills, car note, and our own business bills to pay so she really never splurge, but I do.
When she open the box it's two Saint Laurent handbags the first one it's a White Rive Gauche Small Tote and the other one is Beige Small Sac De Jour "OMG YOU DIDN'T WHY WOULD YOU GET ME THESE BAGS!! I LOVE THEM, I LOVE YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH SHELL. Shell but seriously I know how much these bags cost the reason why I didn't buy them. You know I don't expect anything because I love you and you would do the same for me. I love you Shelby cradle to grave."
Her reaction was all I need and all I want.
"I know Bri and that's why I do it, I would go into debt for you because you do stuff for me all the time and I love you for that. Cradle to grave girlie."
We finally wipe out tears and talk all we could talk. We walk to our cars, but we both head to Kohls to get some decor for the dinner tonight. We spent way to much money on decor and it's 6:30pm we head back home and we get there at the same time.
We quickly greet Montana and Johan and get to work on the decor of the house the living room looks great. We both head to our end of the apartment to shower and get dress. We come out to help Johan with the food and he goes and shower and get dress.
There's a knock at the door it's our first guest and it's Chris he looks good I kiss him on his cheek. Chris compliments me on my hair and gives me those seductive eyes, it always turns me on. I tell him to come in my room real quick, Johan and Bri didn't notice we left. As soon as he get in my room I kiss his soft sweet lips. He looks shock but it's a good surprising shock. He grabs a fist full of my hair and pulls it, it hurts but it feels so damn good, he turns me around to face my dresser. He pulls my dress up and been down and start to kiss my inner thigh, before we can really get into it the door bell rings again. Bri yells to me that it's Drew and Tiffany, I quickly fix my hair makeup and dress Chris does the same he kisses me on my lips and tells me we'll finish later.
We both come out the room at the same time Drew and Tiffany is waiting in the living room. It's silent for a minute but Chris breaks it by talking to Drew about how well he looks. After that me and Tiffany starts to talk we all sit at the table, I call for Bri and Johan to join us so we can finally eat but the doorbell rings.
Bri answers the door and I hear a deep voice which sounds weirdly familiar but unfamiliar at the same time. "BRI WHO'S AT THE DOOR?" I yell to her but she doesn't answer, I go see who's at the door and it hits me like a ton of bricks how did he find us?