The Ghosts of my Past [Completed]

19. Assassins

Okay... Those shity vampire injections. They messed me up big time! throwing up and feeling a little shaky the pain was just the start of everything. I couldn't eat anything for the following 3 days, everything would come right back out. I felt weak and slept most hours of the day. I hated it so bad. I wanted to take care of my baby girl but is just couldn't. Luckily Elijah understood that I wanted and needed Amber close. So even though he and Lena took most care of her. They stayed in the bedroom most of the time. I was visited by a werewolf doctor but he couldn't do anything for me. I just had to "Sweat it out" Like he told me. And sure hell I did. Sweating, throwing up and the fever I got was so high I couldn't remember most of it. 
The fourth day I could sit up straight in bed and keep a few crackers down with some fruit juice. And the best part, I could hold and feed Amber myself. 

"I am so sorry baby girl, mommy will be there for you from now on again okay. No more getting into trouble." I muttered in a hoarse voice looking at her while she drank he bottle. She looked way better than when we arrived here. "As soon as mommy is better we will go, move to Canada okay? Or maybe Europe?" I continued with a smile.
Running as far away as possible was still my best idea. Elijah was nice and all but I knew he still wasn't planning on being a dad... or wanting a family for that matter. He was looking after me yes. I just knew he didn't see any future in us. And I didn't either. 
"Why so far away?" The door of our room opened and Lena stepped in with a small tray with some food and a glass of juice. 
"Because I need to be as far away from Damian as possible" I shrugged looking at Lena as she put the tray next to my bed on a bed stand that wasn't there before. 
"We will take care of him... that is our job. We have been after him for ages. And with some new information coming from you we can get him" She said with a smile and sat down on the edge of my bed. "And you can't just leave Elijah hanging like that?" 
"Sorry?" She just said some things I didn't understand. Their job to take care of Damian? And what about Elijah. It wasn't like I told them he was Amber's father. Or did he tell them. 
"And what about your friends? Isabell has been calling every day how you are doing. She was so relieved to hear you and Amber were safe with us. Just like your parents of course... and the rest of your pack."
"I want them to be safe. I only bring trouble. I guess my parents were right all along." I muttered with a stubborn look on my face. It felt nice that Isabell had called to see how I was doing but since Damian was still out there she should just stay far away from me. 
Lena started laughing looking at my face. "You would fit right in here.  We are all trouble. The right kind of trouble though." 
"Sorry?" I said again. I was getting more and more interested in what they did and what Elijah's part was in all this. 
Lena bit her lip and looked at the door that was closed. "Okay, I will tell you if you keep your mouth shut okay? Don't think Elijah agrees with me telling you this. Nolan does want you to know though. He think's you are strong enough and I do too." 
"Strong enough to know what?!" I said a little louder. "Shuss, don't yell." Lena crossed her legs sitting on the bed now. I suddenly wondered how old she was. Her black hair was wrapped in 2 buns low in her neck and she wasn't wearing make-up like the night I arrived. Her blue eyes were less vivid but still incredibly blue. She was wearing a big green sweater with some black yoga pants and her feet were bare. 
"So Elijah never told you what we do right?" She started with a small grin on her face. 
I shook my head "No, he is very secretive about it all. The pack doesn't even know."
"That is because what we do is kind of dangerous. We work for Blackwell, he is our boss. He gives us our jobs." 
"Jobs?" I asked. This was getting more weird by the second. I didn't know if I still wanted to know what Elijah did. 
"We assassinate the bad guys. The wolves in sheep-clothes, the occasional vampire or even human's now and then. We spy, get information. Make sure the packs are safe from hunters and vampire's and rogue werewolves up to no good" 
I blinked and my jaw dropped. She was kidding right. Lena looked nothing like somebody who could kill somebody. But Elijah... yes. Now it all made sense, the enemies. Him not wanting to be a father to Amber. He hoped to keep her safe if he kept his distance. And now I was in his house... or where he lived anyway. 
"Fuck" I muttered. "Now I definitely have to leave" 
Lena was silent for a minute looking at me and Amber who was done drinking now. She laid on her tummy on my chest while I patted her back softly. 
"Amber is Elijah's baby isn't she?" Lena asked carefully. 
I couldn't really deny it and I nodded slowly. "I didn't plan it. It just happened." I Whispered. 
Lena nodded and smiled. "It's funny. Elijah doesn't smile often... unless she is in his arms" She pointed out Amber and her smile got brighter. I couldn't help but smile too but just for a second. "I messed up so bad" I whispered shaking my head. "I should have never gone home this summer" 

"Everybody messes up sometimes. And you should stay. I know you want to" Lena's smile got even bigger. "I know you like Elijah... maybe more than just like." She didn't seem at least a little bit worried. "What are you talking about? Me and Elijah was a one time thing" I told her. 
"I don't know, I heard you talk about this huge crush... Dumping your Mate and all... just for him?" Lena laughed seeing the shock on my face. 
"What? No, no definitely not!" She was lying I would have never said that" I panicked a little. Shit, what did I say when I was sick? I know fever could get you rambling. 
"Oh yes you did. I think you thought I was your friend or something. You were talking about Elijah, saying you wanted to talk to him. Saying you had the biggest crush on him like... forever. Is that true? Maybe that is why you rejected your mate" Lena giggled softly. "He heard you say some things too" She admitted. 
"Shit.... shit shit shit!" I could feel my cheeks turn red. "So it's true you still like him!" Lena laughed.

"It doesn't matter. He doesn't want me or Amber anyway. He had been pretty clear about that" I suddenly snapped pushing myself up and throwing my legs over the edge of the bed. I was going to put Amber in her crib so she could sleep. Maybe I could walk around a little since I felt better already. 
"Hey careful there!" Lena was up on her feet too and right next to me to support me if I needed it. My legs felt like jelly but I made it to her crib and put Amber down gently. "I am sorry you got such a messed up mommy baby" I muttered. 
"Oh stop putting yourself down!" Lena almost exclaimed. "You are a great mother. You saved her from a crazy she-wolf. You killed the bitch to safe her!" I turned towards Lena and shook my head. If it wasn't for me she would have never been in so much danger... If I just had done what is expected of me then..." I fell silent. If I had done that, Amber would have never been here. And to be honest... I don't want a life without her in it. 
"I am so selfish" I mumbled.
Lena sighed, she had no idea what to say anymore and hooked her arm through mine. "Come on" She said and gently pulled me out of the room. I opened my mouth to say something but she interrupted me. "Nope, she is safe, you need some fresh air my dear" 

"Lillith, you are up. Good to see" Nolan Blackwell strolled out of another room and smiled when he saw me. "I told her" Lena immediately said. "About what we do" 
Nolan nodded, he didn't seem angry at all. I would have thought this was supposed to be a secret. 
"Good, I  thought you would.  Although I doubt if Elijah will agree with that" Nolan replied calmly. He looked at me. "I thought you should know with what kind of people you live. I think we can trust you and I think you can handle it. Elijah thought different" 
I rolled my eyes. "He must think I am made of glass or something. Stupid ass." Nolan started laughing and Lena smiled too. "You remind me so much of my daughter" Nolan finally said and grinned. "Same spirit"
"Yes, Amaya was a little crazy too"
"I am not crazy!" I protested with a small growl. 
Neither one of them responded to that but they both smiled. Then something dawned to me. "Amaya? Was she Elijah's mate?" If she had been Elijah's mate and Nolan's daughter... "Shit" I whispered. 

Both their smiles disappeared. Nolan looked sad and Lena just looked away. 
"Yes, Amaya was my daughter and Elijah's mate. She died about 2 years ago" He explained in a soft tone. I could see the pain in his eyes. "She was killed by a rogue werewolf. Elijah blames himself. So I kind of understand why he is so careful with you" He continued with a sad smile. 
"Why would he be careful with me?" Was my immediate response. Then I understood. He did care for me. A lot.