The Ghosts of my Past [Completed]

21. Orders

To say Josh wasn't happy was an understatement. Yes Elijah came back with a new shirt on. That didn't take away that I was covered in his scent and that he was still covered in mine. Soren noticed the tension and though he knew something was playing between me and Elijah. He didn't know my ex mate. And then there was this order Josh gave me... "You are coming home with me."
"I am not going anywhere." I said. "And if I would go anywhere It wouldn't be home but Europe or Canada" I continued stubbornly. This earned me a look from both Josh and Elijah.
"Blaine told me I could come and get you here" Josh said.
"She isn't coming with you Josh. She just told you she didn't want too. And It's not safe" Elijah crossed his arms over his chest making him look even Bigger than he already was. I was kind of pleased to see he was bigger than Josh. Still, he would have to Listen to Josh as he was his Beta... or well, Was going to be his Beta. as far as I knew Blaine didn't replace our Alpha jet.
"She is my mate. She will be safe with me!" Josh growled at Elijah. He was seriously angry. His anger scared me, and not just me. Amber woke up and started crying. I gave Elijah a warning look and walked over to her and got her out of the bouncer. "It's okay little one. We will go to our room" I told her. I wasn't going to fight Josh now.
"No you are leaving with me... now" Josh said grabbing my arm while I passed him.
I flinched almost falling to the ground because I still wasn't steady on my feet and his anger tensed my up. Elijah was with me immediately and kept me standing. "She is staying here Josh. Just like you" He said calmly but I could almost feel his hands tremble with anger. He put me on my feet and looked at me. "You okay?" He asked. I nodded and without looking at Josh I left the room. I heard him yell though. "What the hell did you do to her!?"

Closing my door locked the sound out but not the fear. Was I scared of Josh? I definitely didn't like him saying I was his mate. I was his ex mate. He was not just barging in here and taking me back. No fucking way. Amber kept crying and I felt like doing the same thing. Maybe it was because Josh reminded me a little of Damian. Taking things because he wanted them... not thinking about what the other wanted.
"It will be okay sweety" I told Amber and myself.
"I am only going to talk to her!" Josh opened my door and stepped in. I had heard his words and they didn't sound like he was 'just' going to talk to me. Elijah followed him in. "It's okay" I told him. "Could you take Amber?" Elijah nodded and carefully took his daughter from me. "I am just around the corner" He told me. He could see I was scared. I nodded and looked at Josh while Elijah left with Amber.
"I am not coming" I replied immediately.
Josh didn't answer he walked around in the room like he was looking for something. I followed him with my eyes. It dawned on me pretty soon. He was looking for proof that I was sleeping with Elijah. "Did you hear me Josh?" I said louder. He stopped looking and directed his eyes on me. "You don't have a say here Lillith. Your parents agree. You are not capable of taking care or yourself or your daughter. They talked to the Alpha. I am here to collect you" 
I couldn't believe my ears. was that seriously true? Did they think that? And why? Why would they think I wouldn't be able for it? 'Because you got yourself and Amber in danger. You almost got yourself killed' A little voice inside my head said. I shook it off. "Oh hell no!" I told Josh shaking my head crossing my arms. "Like I said, you don't have a say here. He will not allow you to act like a little slut" Josh walked up to me with eyes the color of a deep dark green forest. I let out a low growl. How did he dare to call me a slut. 
"For your information Josh" I hissed stepping closer. I was definitely not holding myself like I should to a future Beta but I didn't give a shit. "I fucked only one guy after I dumped you. One time is enough to get pregnant. So shut the fuck up with calling me a slut because seriously, do that one more time and I will hurt you"  This was a serious threat and It only made more angry than he had already been. He stepped towards me now standing right in front of me. 
"You are my mate Lillith! You are mine. I will even take that bastard baby of your's" He was going to far now and I raised my hand to hit him right in the face. He saw this coming and grabbed my arm before my hand hit him. He held my arm way tighter that I would have expected him too. "Let go of my you stupid ass!" I told him ignoring the pain. I had used my arm that healed kind of wrong from a break and it was still super sensitive. "You will listen to me Lillith! I will take you back as my mate and you will come home with me!" 
"Never!" I growled. I was so close to shifting. He was making me and my wolf so incredibly angry. She didn't want him back. There was only one guy I wanted and he was with our daughter. Something Josh didn't know. Maybe I should let him know and that will make him back of. The worst thing I ever did. 
"Do you wanna know" I asked him in a low voice. "Know what!?" He sneered his grip around my arm getting even tighter. "Who Amber's dad is?" I saw his eyes darken even more and couldn't help but grin. God I was stupid. "He is right outside, holding his daughter." 
Yes I had gone to far, way to far! "I gasped in pain as his grip around my arm got so tight It felt like I would break my arms again. After that he smashed me into the wall behind me. The same moment I crashed into the wall Elijah barged in the room without Amber. I guess he left her with Soren. He probably heard the whole conversation. 
"What do you think you are doing!" He roared. Not at me though but at Josh.
"I am telling my mate she is coming home with me.  That you have that little bastard together doesn't make you have any say here" Josh growled. 
Calling Amber a bastard again made something in me snap big time and suddenly I shifted in my wolf form. I was anything but strong now especially but I was angry... So fucking angry! My wolf wasn't really big, small even. I didn't even reach Josh hip and I was skinny. My fur was a soft grey and my paws were white. I would say I looked more cute than like a murderous wolf. 
"Lillith!" Elijah just said my name and stared at me for a second. I didn't look at him I just looked at Josh who looked down on me with Eyes black as coal. 
Elijah looked back at Josh. "I think it's better you go home now" He said calmly. He kept his calm better than me or Josh who seemed pretty close to shifting as well. 
"Not without her" He said threatening and still looking down at me. That was it for me and with a loud growl I jumped right at him.
Elijah couldn't stop me as I threw Josh too the floor. Standing on his chest with my front paws I growled at him. Josh didn't look scared at all. He grabbed my neck and pulled me of off him pushing me too the ground. "You will come with me!" He ordered. Using all his force to push me to the ground. I howled softly trying to fight his order while I struggled to get away from his grip. I couldn't he was way to strong. And he knew. 
Suddenly his grip disappeared and when I opened my eyes I saw Elijah shoving Josh against the wall holding him there with one hand. 
"The fuck Josh! Do you know what she has been through? For two weeks she has been abused and was forced to do all kind of shit. And here you are forcing her to come back with you? To the place she was kidnapped from!? Are you crazy!?" He thundered. I crawled away into a corner of the room while he did his thing. I wasn't going with Josh though he almost got me that far. 
"She will be safe with me!" Josh said although he didn't sound as sure of himself as before. "Think again Josh. She was kidnapped from the Alpha's house. This is the only place she is safe in because Damian doesn't know this place! And we will keep it that way. And she is staying. I am not putting my daughter or her mother in danger because you are acting like a fucking stupid asshole" 
Josh was silent and looked at Elijah and then at me. His eyes were still black as night but he seemed to relax. "Don't think this is done yet!" He fumed pushing Elijah of off him. He stomped out of the room and I could hear the front door slam.

I was still curled up in the corner of the bedroom wondering why I was so incredibly stupid. It was my fault. I shouldn't have told Josh, Elijah was Amber father. Not like this. 
Just like it was my fault what happened with Damian and that he kidnapped me. I was such a stupid little girl thinking I could handle it all but I couldn't. I was a horrible mother. 
"Lill, are you okay?" His voice seemed to come from far away but soon I also heard the crying. Amber. 
I opened my eyes and lifted my head looking at Elijah who had Amber in his arms again and was sitting right in front of me. 
"Are you okay?" He asked. If I could speak I would say no but now in my wolf form I just put my head back on the ground. 
"It's not your fault you know" He whispered as if he could read my mind. "Josh went to far. It was that you told him I was her father. Else I would have done it" 
I lifted my head back up. This was the first time Elijah admitted he was Amber's father. "I am proud to be" He continued softly. "Just really scared" 
He held Amber with one arm and reached the other out to me gently touching my head and finally scratching behind my ears. Usually this would be weird. I was no dog. It was nice though. Although his words meant so much more than his actions. 
"I will probably suck as a father" He whispered. I tilted my head. I sucked as a mother. So far he was doing a way better job as a father. I pushed myself up and walked passed Elijah to the other side of the bedroom behind the bed where I turned back human. 
"You don't suck as a father. I suck as a mother" I said while I pulled of a blanket from the bed and wrapped that around me. I stayed there sitting on the floor. I knew I messed up, again. As usual. Josh would come back and he would take me back home. 
"Amber should stay with you when he takes me back" I closed my eyes leaning back my head. 
"You are not going anywhere" Elijah stood up and came sitting beside me with Amber still in his arms. She had stopped crying and looked like she would be falling asleep again pretty soon. She looked so comfortable in Elijah's strong arms and I couldn't help but smile. 
"He was ordered to bring me back. He will take me back. An now I have attacked him... no they are going to be so angry back home. And I told him about... fuck... I messed up Elijah. I" He stopped my desperate cries by kissing me softly. "Stop it Lill, I am not letting you go anywhere. I... I just." He fell silent and I looked at him. I had never seen this side of him. He seemed insecure... Elijah. Insecure?
"I can handle Josh. Don't worry" He finally continued and I knew he didn't say what he actually wanted to say.