The Ghosts of my Past [Completed]

22. Fate

Josh didn't come back that day. Or the next and that got my nervous. Something was wrong. I just knew it. And when I talked to Isabell on the phone who told me the pack didn't hear anything of Josh either I knew for sure. 
That night Soren, Nolan, Jared and Elijah out to go and find him. Lena stayed with me. When she heard Josh had come to collect me she had been fuming with anger. We had turned into good friends over the last days and she wanted me to stay. She had become crazy about Amber too talking to her and playing with her any time she could. I'd never expected Lena to be a mother hen. Especially after I had seen her do a practice round with Jared. She was lethal and the be honest... I wanted her to teach me. Elijah wasn't all up for that though. I already imagined my dance school not just being a dance school but also a school were people could learn how to fight. Basic things self defense and all. Isabell love the idea. 

"Do you think he is okay?" I was curled up on the couch. Amber slept in her crib that stood right in the living room now. I was tense and nervous. I didn't want her too far away from me. 
"Yeah sure, don't worry" Lena lied. I could see she was lying. She had no idea if Josh was okay. "By the way... I heard you and Elijah were getting it on just before Josh arrived" Lena grinned widely, looking at me. 
"What.... how did you? I mean..." I started stammering and Lena only started laughing louder. 
"Soren told me. He could, just like Josh smell you had been all over each other." My face turned bright red and she giggled. "It was about time" 
I wrapped my arms around my legs. "Josh will never let me" I muttered. "He doesn't have any say. He know's that. Fate just has something different than him as a mate for you in store" 
"Fate?" I repeated. "I thought fate was finding your Mate. Not rejecting him. I never understood my feelings for Elijah anyway. And one more thing... He didn't even know I existed until that night I saw him at the club and we made that little thing"  I pointed at Amber's crib.
"I heard different" I stared at Lena now. "Sorry?" This was new for me. 
"Yeah, I heard him talk with Soren. That he knew you from when you were a kid even. He sure as hell knew who you were sweety." She gave me a little push and smiled. This was all really weird for me. He did know me before? 
"He had a mate" I said after a moment of silence. She was Nolan's daughter. They wanted a family... I mean..." 
"I know that silly. I knew Amaya too. She was way more of a.. how would you call it. A family person. She wanted a family and a home with a white picked fence. Elijah loved her. They didn't really shared the same ideas though" She tilted her head a little. "Maybe that so called fate just messed up and you two meeting was them trying to make up for it all." She shrugged and I just shook my head. "Fate just tries to kill me." I muttered leaning my chin on my knees. 
"And you keep escaping"  Lena smiles. I seriously don't get her now. But maybe hearing Elijah noticed me before we had our little one night stand turned my brain to much. It made me all warm and weird inside. 
"Look at you being all in love" Lena grinned.
"I am not in love!" I hissed throwing a pillow at her and she was ready to do the same to me when the door opened.  

"Lena! Lillith! I need help now!" Jared's jelled and both of us got up on our feet and ran to the front door. The scene we witnessed wasn't one I ever wanted to see. Jared had found Josh but in what state. He was covered in blood and was probably black and blue underneath that. Lena helped Jared carry him to the kitchen. 
"Just put me down on a chair I will be fine" Josh groaned in a voice that sounded nothing like his own. I had rushed to the kitchen getting cloths and getting them wet to clean him up. 
"Josh what the fuck did you do!?" I said in shock trying to wipe the blood of his face.
"Nothing, don't worry about me" He grinned kind of stupid at me. "I am sorry Lillith, I should have never... I just." 
"No Josh, shut up and just let me take care of you. Who did this?" 
I already knew the answer to that "Your ex boyfriend" Josh said and groaned when I wiped away the blood on a gigantic cut on the side of his face. "Did he drug you?" I asked. 
Josh nodded and tried to push my arm away. "Yeah, I heard he drugged you too. And all the other stuff. I am so sorry Lillith. Yesterday... I just... I messed up. Seeing you and Elijah... And your daughter. I just... I am sorry" I looked at Josh trying to hold back my tears. Shit... I messed up again and now Josh was hurt because of me. 
"Shut up Josh." I muttered "Just let me clean you up and we can call for a doctor" I even heard Josh chuckle now but then let out a moan in pain again. He closed his eyes and I looked at Jared and Lena. "Go! Call the Doctor!" I told them. Lena nodded and left the kitchen to get her phone. Jared stayed with me. 
"Just stay safe okay?" Josh muttered opening his eyes again trying to grin. "The pack is safe. Don't do anything stupid... yes?" I looked at him confused. What was he talking about. "I never do stupid stuff" I told him softly. 
"I mean it Lillith!" He sat up and grabbed my arm. "Don't do anything he says! There are enough people to keep you and the others safe" 
I realized he talked about Damian. He had something in store for me. 
"You are badass killing Summer by the way... I think you are a way better match for Elijah than me. Just make sure he takes good care of you and Amber okay" 
I didn't get why Josh was talking like this. He creeped me out. His grip on my arm loosened and he leaned back in his chair. "Will you by the way tell my parents I love them... and Blaine that I will..." Josh eyes closed and I knew something was even more wrong. "Josh!?" I said a little louder. I dropped the cloth and shook his shoulders. No reaction. He even slipped out of his chair with his body loosing tension. "Josh!" I called louder shaking him some more. He didn't move and I couldn't keep him from falling of the chair on the floor. Jared was next to me a moment later putting his fingers on Joshes neck. I knew what that meant. When Jared's face turned even more grim I knew Josh was gone. "No!" I yelled. "No, please he can't be dead. Do something. Do CPR or something. Do something!" I yelled dropping to the floor and placing my hands on Josh chest starting to push. 
"There is nothing to do. He has lost to much blood already" Jared said kneeling down beside me and putting his hands on mine trying to stop me. 
"No that is not true! He is strong, he will survive this! He has to!" I cried while tears started streaming down my face. I pushed Jared away and he left me 
I heard footsteps and Lena took over from Jared. "Lillith stop. He was too messed up." She whispered putting her arm around me. 
"No, please no. It's not fair. He can't be dead!" I cried feeling completely powerless. "Come on. I called Elijah en Nolan. They will be here any minute. Jared can you get a blanket or something?" Jared took of and Lena pulled me back on my feet. "Come on, you are covered in blood" She said pulling me away from Josh body. 
Then my eyes fell on an enveloppe laying on the counter. It was covered in blood but I could still see there was a name on it. My name. 
I walked away from Lena taking the enveloppe and took the letter that was in it out. There was not much on it. Still just enough to get me in full panic mode. 

My dearest Lillith. I hope you got my gift. He should have lived at least a few minutes to tell you how sorry he is. I guess a mate for a mate should do. 
If I don't find you in the Black Night tomorrow night at 12 I will drive straight too your home town accompanied by my sharp teethed friends. I need a new mate and you will be just that. 
Love, Damian. 

ps: Please leave the baby with somebody else I don't need any bastard baby's. You can have my children. 

I stared at the words not hearing Lena speak or the front door open and close again. This couldn't be true. It was all a nightmare. Just one big nightmare. 
"Lillith, what happened? Are you alright?" It was Elijah but I didn't hear him. I was overwhelmed with fear. It was untill he shook me I sort of snapped out of it and looked up at him. He took the letter out of my hands and read it over once to put it down after. "That is our chance to get him!" He said looking at Lena and Jared. Both nodded in agreement. 
"No! Definetly not!" I told him. "You are not going anywhere. None of you are. You are staying here and I am going. You have to take care of Amber. Somebody has to stay with her if I am gone. She needs at least one of her parents. I will be okay. I will" I started rambling seriously thinking what I should arange now. I wasn't letting more people get hurt or die because of me. 
"Lillith you are not going anywhere!" Elijah interrupted me grabbing my shoulders. "This is what we do, we will get help. The vampire's wont get to us. Don't worry" 
I starred at him in disbelieve an shook my head. "No! I can't let you I will not let you. It's my fault, it is all my fault. I should have just listened I should have... I should" More tears streamed down my face as Elijah pulled me in a tight hug. "It's not your fault." He whispered. 
Amber had woken up because of my cries and as usual she always knew perfectly when I was in panic mode. "Lena can you take Amber for a second I have to talk to Lillith" Elijah said. I wanted to push him away. "I have to take care of her!" I told him but he just picked me up and carried me to his bedroom. "You have to calm down" He said putting me down on his bed. "No! I have to arrange things for Amber. I have to call Isabell. She can be her mother if you don't want her. Blaine can..." 
"Lillith!" Elijah interupted me again getting that stern and serious look on his face again. "Amber is my daughter. I will take care of her. You are her mother and you will take care or her. Nobody else will. I will make sure of that. And now get out of those clothes. 
I looked at him kind of perplexed. "You want to have sex... now?" I asked. 
"No stupid. You are covered in blood I will get you underneath the shower." he laughed putting my hair behind my ears. He started tugging my shirt and I let him take it of just like my pants. "I don't want you to go" I told him with a lot less power in my voice. Suddenly I felt exhausted. 
"I have too" He said in a soft voice. "That's my job. And to be honest. I can't wait to kill him after all he has done to the girl that... " His expression softened and he took my hand in his. "That I have been madly in love with for over a year"And with those words he kissed me softly.