Abstract

Chapter 15

"It is both a blessing
And a curse
To feel everything
So deeply."
- - unknown
* * * *

My favourite place used to be emptiness. Because at least emptiness stayed exactly the same everytime you visited. See, that's the scary thing about life : things changed constantly. You never knew the last time you might see someone or when you might discover something for the first time. Oblivion was always there. And maybe this is from the perspective of a girl who didn't have enough experience with empathy, but it gave me a little comfort knowing that if I should ever find myself giving up on human nature, then the sweet sea of abyss would be waiting for me to sink deeper and deeper into the familiar aspect of nothingness.

My favourite place now was Zylen. It didnt quite make any sense, but that's where I wanted to be all the time: with him. We've been dating for six months now and it was honestly the best, albeit the only, relationship I've ever been in. He was honestly one of the few people I looked forward to talking to everyday.

My dad and I were definitely making amends. We went out to dinner every Friday evening because of his hectic schedule during the duration of the week. It was a bit awkward when he picked me up though, because Aunt Sarah still hated his guts and made sure he knew it.

"Try not to sleep with any twins tonight, Daniel. Have her home by 11." She said, when he came to pick me up for our weekly dinner.

"Aunt Sarah!" I glared at her. "That's enough."

"It's okay, Aura. I get it." He turned to Aunt Sarah. "I get that you're mad at me, Sarah. But I'd appreciate it you throw your tasteless insults at me when my daughter's not around."

"Oh! So now you finally realise you have a daughter!"

"ENOUGH!" I shrieked.

Both pair of eyes turned on me. "That's enough." My voice was softer. "If you can't act like adults, then maybe you should just stay in the car." I jabbed my dad's chest. "And you should just stay in your room!" I pointed at Aunt Sarah.

They were both fairly embarrassed to be told off by an eighteen-year-old, but since they wanted to act like toddlers, I would gladly babysit and tell them off.

*****

"So, what do you want to do now that you've graduated?" Dad asked while we waited for our food.

"I haven't really thought about it." My forehead creased in thought. What did I want to do? I got accepted to three really good universities but I had no idea what I was going to do. I was taking a gap year so I would probably have it figured out by then.

"I don't know yet." Was my final answer to him. "I've always been good at Math and Physics. So maybe I'll do something related to that."

Nodding his head, he unwrapped his fork and knife from the expensive-looking napkin on the table. "I know. Your mother used to send me a copy of your report card every term."

His comment made me stop fidgeting and looking up at him, baffled. "She did?"

He nodded again with a smile. "Even though I was out of your life, Aura, doesn't mean you were out of mine. I made sure I got your report cards, certificates, pictures. I have then all up in my house."

"My mom gave all of that to you?" I asked. The waiter finally arrived with our food and placed it in front of us. I dug into my squash and barley salad with undisguised hunger, while my dad watched me over his 950g, untrimmed ribs.

"Yes," he replied. "Is that all you're going to eat? No meat?"

I nodded in response. "Yep. Aunt Sarah is vegan so I'm kind of one too now."

His eyes widened in memory. "Oh, how could I forget. Sarah always tried to make me become vegan, but I just can't give up meat."

I giggled at his clear love for meat. "My boyfriend loves meat as well. I've tried getting him to cut down on how much chicken he eats, but he never listens."

My dad's fork dropped loudly on the table as he leaned in a bit closer to get a better look at me. "Boyfriend, huh?" His eyebrow was raised in a way that said I should begin talking.

"Yes, Dad, I have a boyfriend. His name is Zylen and I like him a lot so please at least pretend you're happy for me." I pleaded, but his mouth remained set in a grim line.

"How old is he?" He asked.

"Twenty years old."

"What does he do?"

"He's in college." I deadpanned.

"What colour are his eyes?" Okay, what?

"How is that relevant to this interrogation?" I huffed.

"A person's eye colour can tell you a lot about them." He shrugged and waited for me to answer.

"His eyes are blue." I rolled my own.

He pulled his napkin off of his lap, his food long forgotten as he peered at me intensively. "Does he make you happy?"

My answer came without an ounce of hesitation. "Yes, he makes me very happy."

He leaned back, seemingly satisfied with my answers and began wolfing down his food in true, stereotypical male fashion.
***

"How was dinner?" Aunt Sarah asked as soon as I walked into the door after my dad dropped me off. I hung my coat on the rack before answering with the simple, yet acceptable 'good'.

"I'm glad." She said, while flipping through a magazine. But I could tell she wasn't.

I sat beside her and pried the magazine out of her stiff fingers. "What's wrong with you?" I enquired gently.

"Nothing is wrong." Her voice rose an ocave higher than normal. I sighed, loud and deliberate.

"He's in love with you, you know." I finally said.

"What?"

"My dad. Daniel. He is in love with you. I know because I'm good at detecting feelings. Once you've spent a long time with a deficiency of something, you master the art of noticing it on other people."

She looked at me for a long time before she stood up like the couch was on fire. "You don't understand, Aura."

"Maybe not. But how many other aunts can say their nieces are okay with them dating their dad." I smile and make my way up to my room before she could reply.