Abstract

Chapter 27

It's been nine months. I don't really know how to describe those six months. I can barely think about what happened all these months, let alone talk about them.

I've been sitting in the hospital waiting room for hours. I stared up at the pulsing fluorescent white light, trying to get the image of Jace's limp, unconscious body out of my head. The waiting room smelt like vinegar and disinfectant and crippling fear. You never think fear or sadness has a scent until you spend a long time in a hospital.

Adam finally appears back into the waiting room. He was tired as hell, weary with the burden of long-closed eyes; He could of easily pulled off being a walking zombie, dead on the inside but subconsciously awake.

He took a seat beside me. We said absolutely nothing for long moments, as if breaking the silence would mean breaking the thread-bare sanity we were desperately holding onto.

"How is he?" I finally said.

The answer floats in the air. Adam takes another long moment before he replies.

"I don't know. The doctor is still busy checking on him."

We fell back into the silence once again. I stared at the clock on the wall, watching the hands tick by. They mimicked the movements of my fingers, which seemed restless as they tapped across the glass table in front of me.

"I hate him." Adam spoke, his voice barely above a whisper.

Even though he didn't elaborate, I knew exactly who he was talking about. I believed him too, when he said he hated him. I believed him because I think I hated him too.

"I don't blame you." I offered. I wanted so badly to wrap my arms around him and comfort him, but I know more than anyone how the past few months have made us wary of even the slighted bit of physical contact. We shrank into ourselves. I haven't spoken to the others in a long time. Ever since Malic had given us our tasks, the weight of what we were required to do weighed heavily on us. After a while, we found no reason to stay in touch. We reminded each other of all the things going horribly wrong.

"I really, fucking hate him." This time his voice conveyed the harshness of his words. "It's all his fault. He acted like our friend just to--" Adam paused, taking in large gulps of air. "He knew this would happen. And he just left us here to deal with this shit."

I moved closer to him. "Adam, it's okay. We can stop Malic. We just have to figure out how."

He laughed coldly. "It's not okay, Aura. It's not fucking okay. You saw what happened when I defied him. Now Jace is in a fucking hospital all because I didn't follow that bastard's orders. He could have died today, Aura. I don't know what I would do if he--"

Adam didn't finish. I didn't know how he could. He loved Jace. The kind of love that consumed you. The kind of love that embodied who you were. It would crush him to lose Jace. It would crush me, too.

"Adam?" A willowy voice called. We looked up. Mrs. Baxter came with hurried steps towards us, a worried look on her face. Mr. Baxter wore a similar expression on his face as he imitated her steps.

"We came as soon as we could. How is he?" Mrs. Baxter asked, pulling Adam into a fierce hug.

"I don't know." Adam's voice broke. He was on the verge of tears and it cracked my heart in two to see him so scared and devestated. Mr. Baxter patted his back reassuringly as his mother comforted him in her arms. He had amazing parents.

The doctor finally appeared in the waiting area, and before she could say anything, we all swarmed around her like bees.

She addressed Adam directly, knowing he's the person who brought Jace to the hospital. "He's stable now. He's responding well to the medication. We'd like to keep him overnight, though. Just to monitor his progress."

Our sighs of relief were so loud, the could be heard over the ticking clock on the wall.

"Can we see him?" I asked the doctor.

"Yes. He is sleeping, however. So the visit would have to be short. You can see him now, provided you are his family."

"Yes, we are." Mr. Baxter answered immediately. I could see the appreciation on Adam's face.

We followed the doctor into the ward where Jace was situated. The nauseating stench of disinfectants permeated through the air, but I held my breath as the doctor opened the door.

Hearing the monitor beep, all four of us devoted our attention to the sleeping body in the room. Jace had all kinds of tubes hooked up to his body. My heart constricted in my chest as I saw the tears in Adam's eyes fall freely. He walked up to the bed where Jace was sleeping, and brushed a stray strand of hair out of his face. Dropping to his knees besides the bed, he laid his head on Jace's chest and cried silently.

Mrs. Baxter wept into her husband's chest as Mr. Baxter watched with pain in his eyes as his son fell apart.

Just then, the nurse came in. She gave us all a sympathetic smile as she laid a tray of medicine on the desk.

"I'm afraid you guys will have to come back tommorow. He needs to rest for as long as possible." She whispered politely.

I put a hand on Adam's shoulder as we walked out of the hospital. "He's going to be okay, Adam. You heard the nurse and doctor: he just needs to rest."

Adam didn't say anything. I could tell he was lost in his thoughts. I knew the misplaced guilt he felt ate at him. And I wanted nothing more that to put his mind at ease, but that was impossible. His parents had to go back to work, so I decided to stay with him at his house for the day.

We watched a movie but neither of us were really into it. It served as a good distraction, though. An hour into the second movie, Adam switched the tv off and turned to me.

"I want you to be extremely honest with me, Aura." His iron gaze observed me. "Do you think it's my fault?"

"No," I answered without hesitation.

He nodded stiffly as if he didn't believe me.

I tried again. "Malic asked you to abstract on your boyfriend, Adam. He knew full well you wouldn't do it. He was messing with you. Don't ever regret not putting Jace through that, Adam. Trust me. I've been on the receiving end of your ability. It's not pleasant."

His watery smile killed me. "I just love him so much, you know? I would just die if anything happened to him. Love does that to you."

I nodded, thinking back to the intense blue eyes that plagued my thoughts ever since he left. And even though the weight of his betrayal sat heavy in my heart, so did the memories.