Who am I to You? (Kaylor/Torlie AU)

10

a/n: time to mess y'all up real bad!! sorry guys ✌🏽️

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The walk home to the farmhouse was cold, even with Karlie holding onto a container of cookies fresh from the oven. She realized, nothing could really warm her up like she was with Taylor holding her hand or snugly hugging her back.

She's already stuck on me, Karlie curses herself. Immediately trying to brush away her thoughts of the blonde but failing.

"I want you to stop running away from your problems," Taylor says quietly. Her hands holding onto Karlie's as she draws her finger absentmindedly on the younger girl's palm.

"I'm not running away! I'm staying put here!" Karlie argues, not understanding why Taylor was adamant about her return to the city.

"Karlie, don't you get it? Leaving New York on that roadtrip and now refusing to go back even when your past life has clearly caught up with you— it's time to stop running."

"But what about you?"

"What about me?...This was a 'no strings attached' thing, remember?" Taylor smiles up at her, sadly.

A tear falls onto the younger girl's cheek, slow and steady, then pouring out all at once. She is afraid to speak, knowing her voice would defeat her even more and expose how much of a mess she felt inside.

Taylor takes a deep breath then releasing a sigh, "Karlie, please don't do this. You knew what we were getting into, right?"

Don't make it any more harder than it already is, please, Taylor pleads, wishing Karlie could read the thoughts she didn't dare say out loud.

"I know that! But can you honestly say to me you don't feel any different now than when we started?" Karlie says shakily.

"I can't...but does it matter? You have a girl back home, everybody knows that. I was just the next mistake since you lost your memory."

"You aren't a mistake to me, Taylor...I, I wish I could give you a good ending, something better than this," Karlie says full-on crying now. Her hands were shaking so bad while in Taylor's hold, and her heart was beating so loud it echoed painfully in her ears.

"I think this is a good ending, Karlie. It isn't happy, but it's real. This was...it wasn't bullshit. What we had— what we did was fleeting and there weren't supposed to be any but, the feelings were there. There'll be another time and place for us, Sunshine."

The container of cookies lands with a thud on the kitchen table while Karlie plops herself down on the wooden chair, burying her head in her hands and willing the tears not to drop.

Light footsteps on the floor tiles let her know she isn't alone, apart from Kariann's soft voice that asks tentatively, "Do you need any help in packing? We could start setting up some boxes and—"

"I don't wanna go back."

Karlie enunciates every word slowly, as if doing so gives more truth and finality to her demand. When in reality, it was more of a plea— her fear and her heart speaking on her behalf.

"This is because of Taylor isn't it," Kimby says knowingly. She stands in front of her older sister with her arms folded across her chest.

"Karlie, you have Toni, your girlfriend waiting and worrying about you! I'm all for you getting the girl but don't be a bitch to the one you left behind!" she says pointedly, "And what about us? You're willing to leave us like that?! Again? After we come and find you like this?! What the hell!"

Karlie was left surprised by the sudden outburst and she couldn't deny not feeling buried by guilt as well with what her younger sister said. The elder Kloss couldn't even meet Kimby's eyes when she speaks once more, "It's not about Taylor."

Lie.

"It's complicated. Like, I don't know! How do I go back into a life I don't remember living? My house, my job, my girlfriend! Even family and friends— my mind's a blank space right now."

Mmm, half-truth.

"Well you need to try at least," Kimby counters.

"You have to come back with us, Karlie," Kariann speaks up. Her eyes shining with tears. "We've all been missing you. Even...even mom and dad! We need you, we need our big sister. It's not the same without you around! Please..."

Kariann's request made Karlie calm down a bit and listen. She knew the younger girl was more soft spoken than her twin, which is why Karlie gave extra care into listening to what she had to say.

The green-eyed girl weighed things in her mind; the only people she knew here in town were all for her going home, even she was at first. Would it be so bad for her to go back?

Karlie took a deep breath and closed her eyes before letting out a sigh and opening those bright green orbs once more. "Okay, I'll come back with you guys to New York."

On one condition...

The twins start jumping up and down out of happiness, their smiles from ear to ear. With Kariann even running up to hug her older sister as Kimby stands back and says, "It's good you finally agreed while it was just the two of us pushing you. You wouldn't have had any say once mom and dad get here, anyway."

"Wait what—" Karlie's eyes dart back to Kimby, looking between her and her twin.

"We had to tell them where we were, Karlie. They deserve to know, and besides we didn't have enough to cover the trip back for all 3 of us!" Kimby explains defensively.

"But, but what if..." Karlie mumbles out, hanging her head. What if they're still anything like the two people in my 'dream'? Then I'll just be going back to a shitty life. And how am I going to explain about Taylor as well!?

Already, she felt like she was making the wrong decision. Whatever her expectations and feelings about doing this, they were getting bleaker by the minute.