Holding Out For A Hero

Sweet & Sour Sauce

The classic sixties diner sat quietly in the neutral zone between Dacio's gang and his rivals. Ethel's was the only place in the whole world no man dared to start a fight. The only reason why was because Ethel could be a psycho bitch.

She could be the kindest woman with her soft smiles but once an argument begun in her presence the mask came off. She stole the wooden broom from the janitor's closest and chased every disturbance out.

One time she supposedly sent a guest to the morgue for calling his chick a whore. She took that broom and beat him over the head with it. She thought it might knock some sense into him- not kill him.

Did I believe this twisted tale? Yes. Ethel didn't stand for any shit.

When I first came to this diner, she lead me straight to Max and made him pay my twenty-three dollar tab. She didn't realize then she shoved me in a gracious direction. Without her introducing me to the gang, I would have been dead weeks to come.

When I ran into her, a year later, with a crying baby. She didn't hear any of my complaints instead she told me to get my act together for Blake's sake. I left with a baby book underneath my arms.

Ethel never fixed others problems. It was a rule of hers to stand on the sidelines. This doesn't mean she didn't give forceful pushes in the proper direction.

Today, I hoped she had some of that helpful advice.

"Well darn, if it isn't that mess of a girl." The thick southern drawl rang while she glanced up from her work. There was a noticeable twinkle upon her face.

Ethel wouldn't admit it but she was quite fond of me. She made it her routine of hers to pay close attention to me, whether by teasing or being grandmotherly. It all depended on the mood she was in. Luckily, it seemed she just opened shop and nobody angered her yet.

"Was that you who pulled up in the black Mercedes, hun?"

This morning Benjamin took off early and left a note with his car keys. The porn star willingly drove him to work this morning. There was an important case that the department wanted his opinion on. He wished me a great meeting with Max and wrote not to worry about time. If needs be he would pick up Blake from school.

I slide down the round shades perched on my nose and went ahead to greet Ethel. "Yeah it was me, Eth."

She was in the middle of dumping Dawn on the lunch counter. Her yellowing rag tossed over her shoulder and bucket near the other edge.

Once there was enough blue liquid on the metal top to kill thousands of bacteria, she focused her attention back on me. The rag already at work murdering the unwanted.

"You don't see many of those type of cars around here," she said before scooting to the bucket, "you find yourself a wealthy man?"

I climbed onto a red leather stool and felt the tips of my ears turn pink. She always had to get straight to the point, didn't she? Stupid hag.

"How do you know I didn't get it from Dacio?"

She put her rag into the soapy water and laughed. The humor booming through out the space. Her fist begun to fit the counter.

"You're funny. That good for nothin' bought you a fancy car."

I rolled my eyes, "is it that hilarious?"

"Most indeed," she gleamed.

"You worry me sometimes," I mumbled, "but to answer your question before he technically found me."