Chapter 8: I Am The Sinner
All of the stars were about to align. And I wasn't just sad. I felt something else.
My alarm clock buzzes. I slam it and roll over. I have to go to school today. There is a test in Language Arts. I wipe dry tears from my eyes and get ready for school. I can’t focus still. He haunts me.
My parents drive me to school and offer to pick me up if I need to go home. I accept their offer and go into my school. Already I can feel tears coming on. I will not make it through the day. I will go home.
But you can’t. Only six hours until your eyes will change to their appropriate color.
I burn first through third period without a tear. Fourth period comes. The test. I walk in and am greeted by a jock – Nick. He is nice, just kind of mean sometimes. He loves to pick on kids like me, so I do my best to avoid him. “Whoa, where do you think you’re going?” he says. His height is almost equivalent to mine. His massive chest bumps me back a bit.
“To my seat.” I reply.
“I don’t think so.” He shoves me backward. I take the blow and avoid him. He glares at me.
But what I didn’t see was his eyes. Yes, let me see them. I should have given in to shoving him back. I could’ve been sinned for anger right then and there.
I find my seat. Nick is a few seats away. I try to focus on the instruction before the test but I can see his stare. I turn to look but he looks away. I try not to lose my cool and keep paying attention. Once my Language Arts teacher was done, I received the test.
I dismount from fear and take the final test. The questions are very misleading, and I do admit of guessing on a few. But I am done fairly early – it takes every ounce of courage in my body to stop thinking about Luke. I draw. Then work on homework. Then draw. The homework- oh, it’s the end of the period. I shuffle out and speak to no one. Here I come History…
All at once something explodes inside of me. My mind explodes in a fury of Luke and his body and the blood and my tears. Then I feel ones coming out. And I’m in the middle of the hall. I run to the nearest crawlspace and hide. I cry my eyes out well past the bell. No one is looking for me. Like I thought. They would come if it were a jock – but no, not me. The nerd who thinks he is really smart. No, I’m not. The jocks. I envy them. Rage kicks in and I run to the counselor’s office. I burst in full of tears and out of breath. She sits me down and calms me. “Gavin, think it’s best if you were kept in a special room for the rest of the week.” I know what room. The detention room. The square box that has no windows and is so lonely that playing with a pencil can be like playing Angry Birds.
I agree to go in there and have my work shipped to me daily. I don’t want to go home. Show that I’m weak.
Show it! Show it!
The bell for school to end sounds and I exit the room. My Computers teacher gives me a hard look for missing class when I walk by. But, I go directly to my locker and grab my stuff and I start to leave. But there is one class I forgot to get classwork for – History.
I make a quick reroute to my History class and step in.
“I’ve come in for my homework.” I said as I enter my History teacher’s classroom.
I didn’t know what was coming. I had no idea at all.
“Hey, Gav.” my History teacher replies. He produces a packet from his blazer.
I’m not so innocent anymore.
“Thanks.” I said.
“Hey, do you have a minute?” he asks.
“Yes.” I reply.
Here we go.
“Okay, just take a seat and I’ll go through the lesson really quick.” He said. I take a seat and he goes back around to his desk and grabs a few items.
Including the book.
He sits in front of me and starts walking through the lesson with me. I pay very close attention.
“Oh, I forgot the notes from the lesson. I’ll get them.”
He took his book with him. And I didn’t suspect a thing.
He stands and goes to the front of his desk. I look down and start doing some of the assignment. And then,…
He did the biggest favor for me that he could ever do.
…all in one instant, he rushes back toward me, placing his hand around my dominant wrist and pulls me to the ground. I struggle. Then, he grabs his book and opens it in my face.
AND THEN, I BECAME A SINNER!
