Holding On

Chapter 3: Disappointment

At first, I decided to accept the fact that he didn't like me back in that kind of way, I decided to accept but now, I regret saying that, some people have told me that if he didn't like me back why should I bother putting all of my effort to get him to like me, because I know deep down inside that it will never happen. Every time I look at him I feel okay if its a situation or Im just sad I look at him and I feel ok, but this feeling is a feeling I've been holding on to for the longest time, I was just to scared to face the world,but now that I have, There is no turning back now.  The reasons why I just can't let go, the reasons I hold onto that feeling is because I just can't let go. He is the reason why Im always happy inside and out but if that feeling is gone, I dont know what I would do next. People can think that its really easy to get a guy to like but its actually not, if you were dealing with my situation which is that I can't even talk to him thats the hardest thing for me to do. I may not be as athletic as him or as tall as him but deep down inside he is the most sweetest, kind, loving, and caring person I know, thats why I fall for him every time. He may not know it yet but thats the way I feel. Im disappointed in myself that I can't even talk to him, we may be good friends but if he only knew how much I like him that would mean the world to me. I feel dissapointed that my own friend decided to tear me down, now I am lost in my own maze trying to figure out a way to get out of this dream, if I can figure out how I can win him over but the only problem is that no one believes in me, not even my own best friend, the person I talk to the most dosent even support me, she just wants me to let go, she dosent know how much I just can't let go. If they only knew my feelings, I would have been out of the maze already and being free from all the that darkness and hurt that I have felt. If they only knew.......