I'll remember us (A Carl Grimes Fan Fiction OC/AU)

Chapter Nine: Feelings? Feelings...

Carl's POV:

I wait until the door is completely shut before I start sprinting towards the back door of the Inn and escape. That was the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me!

As I head outside the back, I shut the door and lean back on it gasping for air. I was angry, sad, pissed off again, then depressed. I was bipolar all in the gorse of ten seconds. I kept punching the walls and kicking them, just wishing to disappear.

I stare at the wall panting when I hear two voices tiptoe through the dry leaves and shrubs. There they are again, Noah leading Lindsey while his hand is linked to hers. I watch them leave into the distance and plop down to floor.

"Carl." I hear a voice call from indoors. I head back inside and see Michonne standing there, arms folded. Looks like I'm in trouble. Her posture says it all. Prepare to receive a long lecture on whatever I did wrong.

"Are you ok?" She says raising her eyebrows and half smirking. It was the same look she gave me when I ran after Noah.

"Yea why wouldn't I be?" I say turning around hoping my dad or Lindsey's dad was nowhere near. She let's out a small chuckle before she tells me to follow her into the armory.

"Look, your dad had you grounded for a reason Carl." She says as she starts to continue loading the guns Lindsey left on the floor before taking off, "So I kinda have to be here to help you clean up their mess." She says nudging her head.

"Anyways, I came here to talk." She says as she examines the body parts of a sniper. "You seem a little different lately and it's so unlike of you."

"Well yea, I mean in this world people are always gonna change. You don't see my dad's attitude the same way since when you found him now don't you?" I reply coldly.

"Well that's true but I was talking about your behavior..." She pauses for a minute looking around the room, "And to be honest..." She looks through the glass of the sniper with one eye closed, "It all started when she came here."

I stop reloading and glance at Michonne who was starring directly at me. "Carl I need to ask you something, but I need you to be fully honest with me." She says sternly. I gently nod my head in agreement and she continues.

"Do you like this girl?" She raises her brows again. This question was so unexpected, I thought I was gonna get a fit from her for not staying in the grounded environment. "Well, do you?" She asks sounding more desperate every time.

"No!" I shout as I slam the pistol down my work table, "Lindsey's a bitch!" I whisper. How could she ask me that question? Does anybody not notice our incompatibility? We can barely talk without wanting to tear each others gums off.

"Well I see the way you look at her." Michonne continues to say with a high squeaky voice, "It's actually the same way Noah looks at her."

I shrug my shoulders in denial, "No It's not!" I wave my hands signaling her to stop making it a big deal. "Besides she's taken, they've made it official, I mean I wouldn't care anyways."

"Ok, so if it doesn't matter then why were you so upset when going back outside, and I mean literally the back!" She let's out another small chuckle.

I didn't quite actually know. It was like everything that she's put me through, everything that I have gone out of my way to do for her, is all a waste. She doesn't give a damn about what I do, everything is all on Noah. I continue reloading the guns and just managed to say, "I don't know."

Michonne stares at me hoping to get an answer out of me. She takes a deep breath and raises her brows, "you know I'm not going anywhere until you open up to me," She says, "Now Carl, do you like Lindsey?"

I sit and think about it for a moment. That I like her as a friend, well there's no questioning that, but do I like-like her? I try to think of the feeling I got when I first saw her. Those beautiful locks of hair and her sassy attitude.

"If you love her, fight for her." Michonne continues. I sit still in the silence of the room, deep in thought. Processing everything that I've done with Lindsey. It's been only a week and it seems like I've known her longer.

Maybe because me and her are always together, whether it's happy or fighting. After all I look at the bullets in my hand and just said "Ok." That moment I remembered how sharp my chest felt to see her hug Noah for the first time when she ran away, and how I stepped forward to separate them but stopped myself.

I look back up at Michonne who was smiling as she examined the sniper further. She then stands up and sorts the pile of loaded guns on the table in their corresponding spots. Lindsey's and Noah's pile was done and so was mine.

Well looks like I'm all done here. I get up and sort my pile on the counter. The Armory room is actually the room behind the front desk. More like an office with shelves, counters, and tabletops. Daryl thought it would be the perfect spot to keep our guns here. Luckily they left all the keys here. None were missing. We can lock and unlock doors. So it was a big advantage.

The next couple of hours I spend with Judith and Daryl outside rocking on a rocking chair he had found in his room. As I sit on the ground rocking Judith in my arms, Daryl takes out a cigar and lights it up. As he raises the cigar to his lips, Judith gags at the release of the puff of smoke.

"Hey Daryl, not in front of the baby. It's unhealthy." I say eyes locked on him. He stares at me for five seconds before looking down on his cigar. He takes it and presses it against the back of his hand, slowly sizzling and burning out on his skin.

I didn't want to say anything anymore, but Daryl just hasn't been the same since Beth was gone.  Whatever happened between them really must've stuck to him. I mean, the guy is burning himself and before I knew it he was crying.

As the atmosphere got a little more awkward, I see Lindsey walk inside. "Uh hey Daryl, I'll see you later." I say as I quickly get up, following behind her with Judith in my arms.

I open the door to the dark inn, which I wonder how long it's going to take for Glenn to find the circuit breaker, and slowly step inside looking around for her. Suddenly I feel two hands and everything goes pitch black.

"Who the-!?" I blurt out as I lose my balance and try not to drop Judith. Finally I was able to see again and see Lindsey standing in front of me, giggling. "Not funny." I murmur.

"Hey shaggy." She smiles. I've always admired that part of her. How she's so optimistic. She may get sad a lot but her mood changes quickly. "I saw you through the windows and well.. Yea." She laughs.

"You're still with that nickname huh?" I say. She shrugs her shoulders and reaches for my arms.

"Let me hold her." She says as she wraps her arms around Judith bumping a bit with mine. She rocks her slowly as her eyes focus deeply on Judith's face. "She looks a lot like Brenda."

I let out a small laugh, "Well don't all babies look the same?"

"Yea I guess so." She replies.

That moment, we stare at each other. Those beautiful green eyes, her long hair, I admired everything. "Lindsey I- I'm sorry for being an ass."

"No!" She quickly says, " I'm sorry Carl."

I let out a small laugh as I get closer to her. I reach for my hat and take it off. "You won't ever need to apologize to me again." I whisper softly as I set my sheriff's hat on her head. The biggest smile set across her face. "By the way. Where's your boyfriend?"

Her face gets a little serious, "Oh uh, he's... Well you see. He.." She stutters to let it out. Her eyes begin to fill with tears. "I don't care." She mumbles.

How could she not care? "Did something happen between you two?" I say. She tries to clear up her eyes before looking back up to me.

"If I tell you, you can't say anything. Deal?"

"Deal." I reply.