Ashes // l.h.

10. liars

The Neighbourhood- Cry Baby

10. liars

I've forgotten how much he and Noah look alike. Looking at my father is like catching a glimpse of my deceased brother. And I hate him even more for that. And I hate hearing his voice, and having him so close to me is making me tense and guarded with both apprehension and an uncomfortable feeling.

I check my phone and see I have an unread text from Luke. It was probably him trying to warn me of Tom's presence at the dorm and I was too busy listening to music to bother checking my phone. Trying to gather up the courage to say something once more, I take off my jacket slowly and throw it off to the side, feeling his eyes watch my every move.

Patience. I am trying so incredibly hard to not just burst out and yell at him to get out and get out of my life for good. It's hard and I feel this overwhelming feeling suddenly coming over me, so I sit down across from him to try and calm down.

"I uh-" He starts talking, leaning back in the chair he's sitting on. "I received your e-mail."

"Someone told me I should tell you how I was feeling. They said it could make me feel better."

"Dr.McKinley?"

"No." I answer.

He sighs heavily. "Did it? Did it make you feel any better?"

"Yes."

"Andrea," He frowns. "I do expect some respect from you. I am still paying for your college education and I'm supporting your inane decision to major in Art."

"Inane?"

"Yes. I tried telling you the smart thing to do would be to major in Business. But of course...you never listen to me."

Nostalgia. He always expected me to do what he wanted, what he had planned for me. It's one of the many reasons why I fled Churchill, that no good, damned town. "What's the real reason that you are here?"

"I was on my way to the South Carolina office and I wanted to stop by and tell you that I do expect you to come home for Christmas break."

"Did you not read anything in my e-mail?" I ask, laughing a bit at how ridiculous he is. "I am not coming home until I decide that I am ready to come home."

"Your mother was crying her eyes out all dinner-"

"Don't. Don't try and make me feel guilty for anything." I get onto my feet. "Let's not play that game because you will lose."

He stands up too. "I am not trying to make you feel guilty. I am trying to explain to you how hurt your mother was that we couldn't be together as a family for Thanksgiving. I will not have her crying the second time around, for Christmas-"

"We never were a family to begin with, let's get that straight." I say through clenched teeth. "You know that better than any of us."

"When are you going to let go of the past? When are you going to let go of this heavy hatred you have towards me?" He raises his voice and steps forward. "It's time for you to move on. It's been two years."

"Hardly." It's been one year and six months and this...this angers me to the point of no avail. I bet it's so easy for him to move on because he never cared much anyway. And also because, he didn't have to see Noah blow his head off. He didn't have to see his lifeless body right in front of him. He didn't have to feel his blood splatter all over face. "Leave."

"Andrea. We need to discuss-"

"Fuck you!" I scream and his lips part in shock from my sudden blasphemy. Then he shuts his mouth and his hand twitches at his side. "What? Are you going to hit me? Hit me like you did when I was younger? Hit me like you used to hit-"