Separated By a Wall

A New Emotion

When I finally reappeared, I felt nauseous. My head was pounding. Everything was slightly muffled. It was a blur. My throat closed up. After a few seconds, I greedily took an intake of air. My eyes snapped into focus causing me to blink several times and I resettled. I turned to Ryker who was still staring at the couch, where I was, for a brief second and turning to look at me.

"What else can it do?" he asks, walking towards me and plucking the CareBot from my hand. "Anything." I told him. "I think I know how this was made." he says. He turns the CareBot over studying every inch of the device from the buttons, to it's joints to the small screen and the holograms. "Back on our planet, we had a theory that all the Anoch lived by. It's called the Cause and Effect." I urged him to press on. I briefly remembered learning about that. When I was younger, my mother would sit me down on the couch and pick up a glass orb with flickering lights inside. She'd hold it over my head and information would just sink into my brain as if it were just common knowledge. That was how we learned.

"What's so special about Cause and Effect? Isn't it just one thing happens, cause, and that leads to something else, effect. An example is, I forgot my umbrella when it was raining, cause. An effect would be I got wet." He wasn't making eye contact. He showed no motion that he was paying attention to a word that I was saying. But when he did respond, "This is different. The Cause and Effect theory is how the Anoch think. We process a cause and anticipate the effect. Only high ranked Anoch could excel in such a skill since we're natural born warriors. Cause- the humans attacked us. But the effect can be changed by how we will it. We can change whether they kill us or not, whether we submit or not. We can choose to leave, anything. It's all about control. And that was one thing the Anoch always wanted." he was quiet for a moment, tension laced in his voice mingling with the air.

"So what does this mean?" I ask, inching closer. He doesn't move, not a sign of recognition. "Nothing. It means nothing." And with that, he tossed the CareBot back into my bag and stomped upstairs. I would've followed him. But something told me now wasn't the time for company. I don't know what it is. But without the CareBot, it's as if my entire demeanor has changed. I'm more perceptive, sensitive to feelings I never knew existed. I'm more caring towards others. What would have happened to me if I weren't so fascinated with the Anoch? If I didn't get the scar? Would I be fearful? Mindless? Susceptible? 

I could be all of those things considering the fact that the passion for the species was the only thing that tied me to my humanity. Without it, I was an empty shell commanding a more empty machine. I wouldn't experience feelings. I wouldn't experience determination. Only submission. Was the scar what made me so different? I could be a walking zombie like everyone else at work. Christina and Diamond have a dull twinkle that fades by the day. There is no hope. 

I guess that's why the government took Anoch technology in the first place. Give them something alien. Let it slowly take over their minds. Stripping us of our humanity and our hope makes us the perfect slaves. But slaves for what exactly? I timidly inched towards the stairs afraid that if a stair creaked the house would explode. 

Is now the right time yet? I was growing impatient. Lifting one foot, I set it gently on the stair pressing into the wood for creaks. A good two minutes later and I was up one stair. Cause- overexaggeration climbing up the stairs. Effect- I'll be bones by the time I reach the top. Another five minutes later and I'm up three more stairs. Maybe I'll get there before I get wrinkles. 

I bit my lip the whole way, the metallic taste of blood dripping on my tongue. How many more stairs were there? And then I come to the ultimate conclusion to simply use the CareBot to teleport me outside Ryker's room. If only I had come up with that when I was at the bottom of the staircase and not halfway up. Hmm. Continue halfway up the stairs and be proud that I didn't have to rely on technology or make things so much easier by using the loophole... That one's tough.