Bodyguard

chapter five

When I was done debating on whether to let miss Potts in to ask her if my dad knew about me and James I soon did because my curiosity won me over. Once miss Potts was inside i nailed her with my first and most important question.

"So did you finally tell my dad what was going on between me and James?"

"No of course not, I told you I wasn't going to tell him." Miss Potts said looking surprised that I thought she would ever leak such a secret.

"Okay so then what did my dad tell you about breakfast?" I asked feeling sorry that I wouldn't trust miss Potts.

"He just told me that you were mad at him and he didn't understand why when you figured out that the guy he was talking about you going to the dance with was James you were so upset. Then he told me that he thought you might need some help picking out a dress for the dance because you were most definitely still going, whether he had to drag you out or not." Miss Potts said.

"Well that's just great, you understand why I don't want to go with him don't you? I mean if it happened to you, I know you wouldn't even talk to him ever again."

"Well I suppose you are right, but it would really depend on who it was that did it to me."

"Its just I liked him a lot I still like him a lot actually." I sighed, "and I cant believe he would do that to me, I thought I meant something to him. but I guess I was dead wrong." I said on the verge of tears.

"Honey I think that you mean a lot to him."

"I dought that." I said. "When my mom was alive I think she was the only one who gave a dam about me, but now that shes gone I got no one."

"Dear that is impossible because you mean so much to me, and your dad loves you so much he tells me all the time."

"Yeah I know its just I haven't known him my whole life and never really cared if he loved me or not because I always thought he was dead." I said tears streaming down my face.

I didn't know why I was telling all my feeling to a woman I had just barely met I mean I wouldn't even share this stuff with my mom, I guess I just needed someone to talk to.

"well i know you are going through a tuff time right now, but i hope you know you still have people that love you and would do anything for you." She said pulling me into her arms for an embrace.

"I know I just feel like my heart is missing. first its my mom, then my dad, and now my "crush" well hes a little more than that." I say feeling like i could break into a million pieces in a matter of secondsIi felt all alone in the world, because everyone in the world that I love was slowly disappearing.

"Oh sweetheart do you think you should just let him explain and try to earn your trust back, I mean you obviously really like him."

"I don't know I guess." I said finally stating to calm down.

"Okay on a lighter note." She said smiling. "Hows about that dress?"

I laugh "I don't know your the expert." I say.

I finally started to feel better after talking with Miss Potts because I think what I really needed the entire time was someone to talk to. Someone that would listen and help me through it. After a silence that weirdly didn't bother me. Miss Potts said,

"So what are you thinking colors designs, for this dress?

"Oh miss Potts i really don't care as long as it fits and looks good. So I'm gonna leave that one to you."

"Okay ill make you look amazing." She said starting to get up to leave.

In a way I wanted to her to stay with me because she was really easy to love and hang out with, but I knew she had to be somewhere. I knew she had to go home to a boyfriend or some kids or a family, or maybe as sad as it would be home to an empty house. I hoped she was happy with her life, because I had grown to really like miss Potts. iIguess you could say she was my best friend, I never have had one. My mom was the closest thing I ever got.

"Well darling I have to go now, are you sure you will be okay alone?"

"Yes of course ill be fine, now go home." I said faking a smile so she wouldn't feel bad about leaving.

I got up and walked to my door and ushered her out. She followed me form behind and looked like she wanted to say something, but thought better of it and walked out the door heading back to her life.

When she was gone I felt like I should just crawl in a whole and never come out because no one would ever notice I was gone. I felt all alone inside as bad as it is to admit I started to crave james's touch and the sence of security he brought upon me when i was with him. I finally made it off the floor and into my bed. I didn't even change or take a shower. I just pulled the cover up over my face as I cried myself to sleep. I woke up in the morning from a sleepless night, it seemed as if i woke up every hour wondering where I was then I would burst into tears once I figured it out then doze off again. Only to repeat the visiouse cycle over again and again through the night. I got up and made it to the bathroom. Ididn't take a shower because I really didn't care what anyone thought of me anymore. I threw my hair into a sloppy bun and brushed my teeth because I didn't want to have death breath all day for my own sake I could care less if anyone esle had to smell it. I then put on an old sweat shirt from my old wardrobe and some comfy blue jeans. I picked up my falling apart map and made my way to the kitchen in seek of any food I could find preferably chocolate or even ice cream. Then I had decided I was going to have a me day to hide in my room and not be bugged by anyone. I didn't think anyone would even care, shit I didn't care if they cared because I was so done trying to make everyone else happy. iIwas slowly baring myself alive with everyone elses problems that I forgot to even think of myself. Once I had got every piece of junk food I could find I went back to my "cave" and turned the TV on. I watched romance after romance movie all the while stuffing my face with everything from potato chips to ice cream and cookies. I wouldn't have been surprised if i had gained a hundred pounds. Once I was about to pass out with a spoon in my mouth around two in the morning there was a thunderous banging at my door. I slowly got up and shuffled my way to the door as I swung it open I found a very drunk James laying on the ground crying.

A/N hope you guys like the chapter. sorry it was so short ill be updating soon though.

please comment fan and vote i love it when people tell me what they think.

xoxo Lindsey

Ps: the more you comment the faster I update :)