lonely; prequel for alone

Chapter 8

It's been about 8 days since I've physically talked to Calum and I'm starting to think maybe he doesn't love me anymore. I've hung out with Luke a few times in the last week or so. Kim and Sammi are always at the house. Personally I feel like they are watch dogs rather than friends. They always need to know where I'm going, when I'm going, and who I'm going with. I know that they are just trying to be nice, but they are going a little to far, I need some me time. Right now I am walking through Barns and Nobles trying to find a book I haven't already read. I pick up a book called Letting Ana Go, I turn the book over and read the summary on the back. It's right up my alley, I walk down stairs, towards Starbucks. When I get to the front of the line someone taps my shoulder, When I turn around I see Calum. At first I'm happy to see him, then I remember how  I have left him multiple texts, and calls over the past few days, which he never returned. I ignore him and proceed to order my Mocha Frappacino. 

"Leah baby, just listen to m-" he's cut off by the cashier.

"Your total is $5.05" I not and begin to pull money out of my pocket but Calum hands her his card before I can pay.

"Please I can explain why I haven't been answering." I grabs his card back from the cashier and we walk to a table. "I swear I'll tell you anything you want to know."

"What happened to you and Ashton? You guys were best friends... Now you're not." My name is called and he goes over to grab my drink and comes back.

"We just had a falling out I guess."

"Is that why you don't love me anymore..." His eyes widen and he shakes his head and grabs one of my hands. "Then why don't you love me?"

"I do love you Leah, fuck I love you so much it hurts. You are the breath in my lungs, you are my everything, I couldn't imagine a day without you in my life. I've just been really busy lately and I'm sorry I-"

"You haven't been at footie practice, did you quit?"

I look him in the eyes and they aren't like they used to be. There isn't a loving sparkle like there was. They are just an endless void of nothingness. I can tell he hasn't had much sleep, there are bags under his eyes, his face is droopy and pale, he looks like a mess. I wish he would tell me what's going on because I know he's not telling me everything, why doesn't he trust me?

"I did quit, It was just to stressful and everyone on the team hated me. I just wasn't having fun anymore." I not and finally pull my hand away from his and sit up straight.

"I'm just so angry and confused. Do you not trust me? Am I too clingy? What did I do?" I sigh and cross my arms.

"It's not you it's just that I'm really busy and I'm sorry, I'll take you out to lunch tomorrow and we can go to the mall or something."

"I'm going job searching tomorrow." I add trying to turn him down.

"Great I'll drive you..." He smiles and stands up. "Its settled then, I'll pick you up at 11 tomorrow." He kisses my forehead and leaves me very confused.

---

When I finish the book I check the clock and it's been 6 hours, it's dark outside and I take that as my sign to leave. I put the book back and grab all of my belongings. As I'm on the escalator going down I spot Kim and Sammi. They are sitting, talking to one another in Starbucks with many papers scattered on the table. I figure they are probably studying, so I don't want to bother them. I walk outside and it is way colder than I would be expected it to be at four in the afternoon.

"Where have you been?!" Ashton yells from his room as I walk through the door.

"I was at Barns and Noble, I don't have money to buy any new books so I just read them there." I shrug and walk up stairs to his room.