JON'S POV AND THOUGHTS
I KNEW SHE HAD TO HAVE FELT SOMETHING FROM THAT KISS ........ SHE JUST HAD TO . SHE MAY BE ENGAGED NOW BUT ID PUT MY FINGER ON IT SHE DONT LOVE HIM LIKE SHE DOES ME . ITS BEEN SIX LONG F#$KING YEARS SINCE I SEEN HER LAST . SHE WAS AND STILL IS THE ONLY WOMAN IVE EVER WANTED TO BE WITH LET ALONE LOVE LIKE THIS . HELL I WAS EVEN GOING TO MARRY HER , STILL WOULD AND PLAN TO IF I CAN GET HER TO ADMIT SHE STILL LOVES ME .
I DONT KNOW WHAT DROVE ME TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR BUT I HAD TO GET SOME ANSWERS . BUT NOW THAT I WAS HERE I WAS HAVING SECOND THOUGHTS . SHE SEEMED HAPPY , BUT I NEEDED TO KNOW FOR SURE . I KNEW THAT IF SHE LOVED THIS GUY LIKE SHE SAYS THEN I WOULD HAVE TO LET MY ANGEL GO FOREVER ..... WHICH WOULD REALLY KILL ME . AT LEAST RIGHT NOW THERE IS STILL THE SLIGHTEST CHANCE OF HOPE THAT I CAN GET HER TO FORGIVE ME , AND ADMIT SHE STILL LOVES ME AND NOT THIS OTHER GUY FROM TNA WHOEVER HE IS .
SO I WENT AND KNOCKED ON HER DOOR HOPING SHE WOULD ANSWER IT WITHOUT THROWING ME OUT OR TURNING AWAY AGAIN .....
LYSSA'S POV AND THOUGHTS
I WAS TALKING TO MY COWBOY FOR ABOUT ANOTHER TWENTY MINUTES BEFORE THERE WAS A LOUD KNOCKING AT MY DOOR . I TOLD MY COWBOY I HAD TO GO AND ID CALL HIM LATER AGAIN THEN WENT OFF TO SEE WHO WAS AT THE DOOR .
I LOOKED THROUGH THE PEEP HOLE TO SEE JON STANDING THERE LOOKING GUILTY , AND SEXY AS SIN .
WITH A LOUD SIGH AND A VERY HEAVY HEART I OPENED THE DOOR AND LET HIM IN . WALKING OVER TO THE CHAIR IN THE ROOM , WHILE HE SAT ON THE SOFA . WAITING FOR HIM TO SPEAK OR DO SOMETHING ....
I SAT THERE IN THE CHAIR WITH MY LEGS DRAWN UP TO MY CHEST JUST WAITING FOR SOMETHING FROM HIM ........ ANYTHING REALLY TO SHOW HE STILL CARED.
I SIGHED HEAVILY AND WAS PLAYING WITH MY HAIR WHEN I HEARD HIM SAY .......
YOU ALWAYS DID HAVE PRETTY HAIR MY ANGEL ........ AND I LOVE IT WHEN YOU PLAY WITH IT LIKE THAT HONEY .....
JON ......... STOP ! ! JUST STOP OKAY ......... WHY ARE YOU HERE RIGHT NOW ANYWAYS ? FLASHING MY ROCK ON MY FINGER IN THE PROCESS OF PLAYING WITH MY HAIR ........
LYSSA , MY ANGEL I ..... I.... DAMN IT WHY IS THIS SO HARD ....
YOU WHAT JON ?
I STILL LOVE YOU DAMN IT ! ! ! ! ! SIX YEARS LYSSA , SIX LONG YEARS YOU HAVE HAUNTED ME AND I CANT GET YOU OUT OF MY SYSTEM . YOUR ALL I CAN THINK ABOUT ..... YOUR THE ONLY WOMAN IVE EVER LOVED AND WANTED TO SPEND FOREVER WITH . DAMN IT I DONT WANT YOU TO HATE ME ANYMORE ....... I WANT YOU TO EITHER FORGIVE ME , OR LET ME BE WITH YOU AGAIN . THIS IS KILLING ME TO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE SOME OTHER GUY , AND YOUR PLANNING ON GETTING MARRIED TO HIM . I GUESS I ALWAYS THOUGHT IT WOULD BE ME YOU WERE GOING TO MARRY AND SPEND FOREVER WITH . AND IM SORRY ABOUT SIX YEARS AGO HONEY . I REALLY AM IF I COULD GO BACK AND CHANGE THAT NIGHT I SURELY WOULD ....... WHEN YOU WALKED AWAY THAT NIGHT I LOST THE ONLY REAL THING THAT EVER MATTERED TO ME AND THAT WAS YOU ! ! ! ! !
JON ........ DONT ...... PLEASE ......... YOU KNOW WHY I LEFT . CAN YOU REALLY BLAME ME AFTER WHAT I SAW ? YOU CHEATED ON ME JON ........ YOU SHATTERED MY HEART INTO A MILLION TINY LITTLE PIECES . COLBY AND JOEY DID TOO , BUT YOU MORE THAN COLBY OR JOEY . YOU HAD ME BUT YOU DECIDED TO THROW IT AWAY ON SOME BLONDE BARBIE WANNA BE . DID I REALLY MEAN SO LITTLE TO YOU BACK THEN ? I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU DID IT JON I SERIOUSLY DONT . I LOVED YOU WITH EVERYTHING I HAD IN ME AND THEN SOME , BUT IN THE MATTER OF A FEW HOURS YOU JUST PISSED IT ALL AWAY ........
