Free! Eternal Summer x Reader (ON HOLD)

For Now [Rin Matsuoka x Reader]

Everyone knew of Rin's dream. To become apart of the Olympics and basically the best. In every goal or dream, sacrifices must be made, decisions have to be set, and possibly leaving a person he might've loved.

For example, he loved you. And you loved him. And neither of you had bothered to confess. You loved Rin. The way he'd smile, how passionate he was when he swam, and you even thought it was adorable when he would be the scolding senpai. You certainly loved Rin and yearned for nothing more than to be with him. But you chose not to let your selfish desires get in the way of his dream.

Often when you had thought about him, you thought it would be better if you were to never confess.

I'll distract him.

He'll reject me.

I don't want to hold him back.

I don't want him to drift away because I love him.

No matter what, it always led you to tears. You desperately wanted to tell him that you love him, that you wanted to be there with him, and all of your thoughts. But it never went through.

Rin loved you as well. He loved your laugh, he loved the way you'd take care of him, and he loved how perfect you were in his eyes. He was always arguing with himself if he should tell you be loved you or not.

Why would she want a fool like me?

She deserves a lot better.

She's better of with someone better.

His thoughts of you were always conflicting and often laced with self doubt.

Even on the day he'd leave for Australia once again as an adult, you both never confessed the love you both held for the other.

"You're finally fulfilling your dream Rin," you choked out with a pained smile.

"I am. I finally am," Rin answered, looking down at you with saddened maroon eyes.

"What's the matter?" You asked.

"[F/N] I need to tell you something before I leave," Rin sucked up. You looked at him with expectant eyes.

"I-"

'Passengers boarding the B-20 flight to Sydney, Australia, please be ready at the gate. The plane will take off in 20 minutes,'

"That's you," you urged with your voice lightly, secretly hoping he wouldn't go.

"Right," Rin said, picking up his bags.

Before he left, he have you one last hug.

"I'll be back before all of you know it. And when I do, we'll all be together as friends," Rin promised as you stiffened up at 'as friends'.

"You better. And you also better come back as a champion," you lightly smirked at him.

"You bet," Rin returned the smirk. He waved back at you one more time, before he disappeared into the aircraft. You sighed in sadness and defeat.

Why am I upset? Rin's finally going to achieve what he's been working on so hard, you thought. You should be happy for him, but your heart and mind are proving you otherwise.

---

You sat in front of your desk, doing exactly nothing but thinking about Rin. The silence in your room was heavy yet comfortable. Then your sight drifted towards the picture frame of you and him on the night of prom. You both agreed if you didn't get dates you'd go as friends. But you still thought of it as a date. You smiled to yourself, seeing how handsome Rin looked.

Rin was on the plane, looking down at the illuminated buildings that looked like stars in the night. Everyone was already asleep, except him. All of his thoughts of you kept him awake.

I'm such an idiot. Confessing like that? He thought. Rin pulled up his phone to look at the current time. He froze when you and him in a dress and tux popped up on his phone. Of course he immediately remembered. It was the night of prom, when you were both dateless and went together instead. He lightly smiled at the lockscreen. If only you both went as dates he'd be happier.

To you both, love was an unspeakable emotion. Invisible as well. The affection was evident to everybody around you. Sousuke noticed. Gou noticed. Haru and Makoto noticed. Everyone saw it. Except the both of you. You both feared rejection and holding back and often shrugged it off saying we would be better as friends.

Time will tell if you both truly are better off as friends.

But for the meantime, you both thought,

'For now, I'll still to loving you silently. For now I'll deal with the pain of not having you around. For now, we'll be friends, until the day I'll finally be able to be with you,"

---

A/N - ah sorry if that wasn't really angst guys. I'm kinda sad but I can't write angst???????¿¿¿??

It was too late to back out anyways cx

Anyways, please excuse my OOCness in this chapter //bows lightly