Chocolate (Zayn Malik Fan-Fic) Book 4

~Zayn~

     Zayn fell in love with people easily.

     Not necessarily in a romantic sense but in the way that God wanted the angels to love humanity, with that sense of admiration and respect. He liked the way they would laugh sometimes when they were just happy - nothing humorous - but laughing for the sole purpose of reacting to their own joy. He liked the way they would always try their best to be better no matter how flawed they were. He liked just so many things that sometimes he wondered why he was even considered one. He didn't find many good things about himself. But what Zayn didn't realize was that judging himself was another trait of being human. 

     Then there was Perrie. Zayn found her to be on another scale of perfection. She had her own category in his mind and heart. Whenever Zayn would look at her, it would always be for different reasons. Sometimes he would just want to take a glance at her blue eyes that reminded him of the wings of Morpho butterflies. Other times he would look at her pale skin and grow this strong urge to stroke it in some way. Perrie always had such soft skin. Zayn especially liked it when it would be touching his, even if it would be quick. He liked the sight of her smile, his favorite being the kind where her teeth show and you can see her cheeks rise up along with the corners of her lips. And then there were times where Zayn looked at her for no reason really, it just felt right to. Perrie always told him how silly he was being, thinking her to be as beautiful as he thought her to be. That just made Zayn love her more.

     He overdosed on her affection, took it in all like a high. And maybe that's why it hurt him so much when she confessed her real feelings to him. She mattered so much. Some days he would even stare at the ceiling at two in the morning or some ridiculous time like that with Perrie in his arms and be willing to give up everything if Perrie were to ask him that very second. She never did and Zayn didn't really mind that either. But he still always kept that suggestion in his thoughts. However, that suggestion got moved to the don't you even dare fucking try bin of his brain after their conversation and he had never looked back at it again. At least not for a while. 

     People were beginning to worry about him. And maybe they had every right to. Zayn was blowing through his money for his new habit left and right, beginning to confuse the action of spending with breathing. 

     What was really the difference anyway?

     His mum had rung him up one day, sounding worried and concerned like any parent would if they would hear in the tabloids that their son was a possible drug addict. He had just finished rehearsals and was ready to finally return to his hotel room and smoke. He hadn't done so the whole day and his hands were beginning to shake from the absent. 

     "Hey mum. How's it going?"

     "Sunshine, I'm good. I've been meaning to speak with you about something I've been seeing."

     Zayn sat himself down on one of the speakers backstage, his free hand running through his hair so it had something to do. 

     "What is it?"

     The woman took a deep breath through the line and Zayn knew that what was about to come wasn't going to be good.

      "The magazines and internet have been saying a lot of things about you."

     Zayn's eyebrows furrowed immediately at her words. He was never one to read anything about himself, tired of all the lies and other shit that they would write about him, so knowing the media and how the whole business works, he felt that his mum was going to ask something ridiculous like if he was going to be a dad or something nutty like that.

     "What have I told ya about readin' that stuff? It's never true and you know it."

     "Yes. Yes of course. I know. I even avoid all of those things because I know you're a good boy but this has been going around for so long now that I just want to make sure it's not true. If that's alright."