The System

Chapter 16

Recap: I go to sleep. In my dream, I'm back in San Montric. Andrea, M, and I mess around in the ocean. I feel happy again. I'm kissed by M for the first time. I watch the sunrise on the roof with Andrea.

But when I wake up, it's all gone.

I hold on to the feeling for as long as I can. And I smile. Things are going to be okay. Deep down in my heart, I know that. As long as I have hope, things will get better.

But if I'm running on hope, I'm going to need a lot of it.

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I look around the room. It's still early, but people are already on their way to work. Glancing into the hall, I see M asleep on the sofa. A small smile tugs on my lips. His mouth is open and his legs stick out from the edge of the sofa. I'm thankful that he's there for me. My pod beeps indicating I have a message and I go to see what it is. I pick it up and my stomach lurches when I see it's a written message from Kinate.

My legs give out underneath me and I sit on the bed. Taking a deep breath, I force myself to calm down. "Chill, Selena. Calm down."

Opening it, I realize it's a mass message. It's been sent to an entire group of people. I click on the "See all recipients" button and my eyes widen when I realize it's been sent to the entire office.

Scrolling down, I read the message.

"I'm really sorry, but there has been a major technical issue with the Rosewood office. People will fix it in maybe a day or two, but no one can use the office till then. You all have no work till the upcoming Monday. I apologize for the inconvenience. Enjoy your weekend.

-Kinate Nashig"

I have to read the message twice for it to register. Yes. YES.

I smile with joy. For the first time in what feels like forever, I feel relieved. My heart lifts with each passing moment.

There's another message to the 12 of us who are working on #DictatorshipRulz in which Kinate tells us the same thing, except it's clear he's a lot more pissed that we can't get any work done. Personally? I'm not too angry.

I lie down on the bed again. It feels like I'm in a dream. Heck, at this moment you could have given me a program with 800 bugs and it would feel like heaven. Anything without General Doucheface would be perfect right now.

It turns out I fell asleep. M wakes me up a few hours later, and his smiling face greets me.

"I have good news for you!!" He says, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Let me guess," I mumble sleepily. "Work is cancelled because of technical issues."

Uhh.... Yeah. How did you know?" He asks, confused.

"I woke up earlier." I explain as I get up again. My hair settles on my shoulders and I tie it up. "What's the time now?"

"11:30 am. I read the message and figured I'd let you sleep." He shrugs.

"Thanks." I lean back on my bed. I feel exhausted from all these emotional attacks. Sleep helps, but how can you fight your own memories? How can you escape from the very thing you need to survive? How can you escape from reality when it's constantly in your face, reminding you that you are at its will, that it controls you, that no matter how much you run, you can't escape? If you're asleep, it's easy enough to wade off bad dreams. Luckily, I don't seem to get them, even after all this happened. The moments when I wake up are so peaceful. It takes a few minutes for it to come rushing back. How do I face my nightmares when I'm awake?