Hell Above (Kellic BoyxBoy)

Chapter Fifteen

Kellin POV

I opened my eyes the next morning, getting ready to get up until I realized Vic was still in my arms. There were tears clumping his long, dark lashes, a telltale sign that he had woken up a few hours earlier and cried before falling back asleep.

I sighed, running my fingers through his hair. He stirred a little, opening his eyes. They were bloodshot and glassy, and I felt pity flash through me.

“Hi,” I whispered, pressing my lips to his forehead. I guess that was the wrong thing to do, because he burst out in tears.

”Kill me,” he cried. “Oh please, kill me, kill me, kill me. Take me with her! Kill me!” He started sobbing loudly, and I felt my heart clench in pain. Maybe I hadn’t registered how much pain he was in last night.

I had no idea what to say, what to do. I honestly didn’t. “I just, please, kill me, let me kill myself, I want to go with her, just, Gah!” he whimpered, heading towards the bathroom quickly. My eyes widened as I realized what he wanted to do, and I jumped up and sprinted to him, catching him before he closed the door.

I tried to grab his hand, which held a pill bottle. I had no idea what kind of pills he was holding-probably sleeping pills-but I didn’t care. He fought back hard, unwilling to let go of that bottle.

“Just let me do it!” he cried. I shook my head, still trying to get the bottle out of his hands. We both pulled hard at the same time, causing the bottle to go flying across the room and both of us to be knocked on our asses.

We both met each others eyes, staring intently. There was nothing but pain, despair, and desperation in his eyes, tears falling relentlessly. I don’t think he’s even sane right now.

He moved to grab the bottle, but I jumped up and straddled him, pinning his wrists to the floor. “Let me do it,” he whispered, sobbing. “Please. I miss her. I can’t…I can’t deal with this.”

“No,” I whispered fiercely. “You are not going to leave me. You’re not leaving. You’re not going anywhere.” He sobbed, closing his eyes as his body shook. I cautiously let go of his wrists, leaning down and resting my cheek on his chest to give him a hug the best I could while we were in this position.

He wrapped his arms around my waist tightly, sobbing into my shoulder. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he kept saying. “I can’t deal with this, Kells. I’m sorry. I can’t…”

I shook my head, pressing my lips to his shoulder. “You can, Vic,” I whispered. “I know you can. You’re the strongest person out there I know. You can get through this.”

“I just miss her so much,” he whimpered, fisting my shirt in his hands tightly. “I know,” I whispered. “She was like my little sister…” “I know.” “Why did she have to go?” he cried, shaking violently. I was quiet before I whispered, “I don’t know…”

We sat there for awhile in silence. I realized we had school today and sighed, sitting up. “Do you want me to stay home with you?” I asked, knowing that he wasn’t going to go. He shook his head, not moving.

“No,” he answered. “I’ll be okay. I just…I just want to sleep.” I nodded cautiously, getting off of him and helping him into bed. I took a quick shower, and when I came out, he was sleeping. It definately wasn’t very peaceful, as there were tears streaming out of his closed eyes. I turned away, knowing if I looked at him any longer I would stay.

I crept into the bathroom and grabbed all of the pills, and anything he could harm himself with. It’s not that I didn’t trust him, it’s just that his mind wasn’t in the right place right now. Like I said, I’m pretty sure he’s not sane at the moment.

I kissed his forehead on the way out of the room, casting one last glance at his sleeping face as I was walking out.

Time to deal with these idiots at school.

~~~Vic POV~~~

I sat up as soon as I heard the front door close. I thought it was sweet how Kellin had taken everything out that I could harm myself with and kissed my forehead, thinking that I was asleep. But I wasn’t.

Because I had something I needed to do.

I couldn’t deal with this pain. She was practically my little sister, and she fucking killed herself. Not to mention that she left me a voicemail ten minutes before she did.

I called my voicemail, wanting to hear it one more time before I went out.

“Hey Vic. Um, It’s Katie. Listen, I’m really sorry, but I can’t do this anymore. I’m so sorry….I just wanted to say that I love you, like a big brother. You’ve always been there for me, and you tried to help me, but…I just can’t be helped, okay? This isn’t your fault. You did the best you could. But I can’t do this…Please don’t blame yourself for what I’m about to do, Vic, please. I love you and…goodbye, Vic. I’ll miss you.”

I had tears running down my face again by the time the voicemail ended. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before pulling on Kellin’s TOMs and running out to the alleyway where I agreed to meet them.

~~One Hour Later~~

I stumbled and fell onto my bed, laughing crazily as I stared at the ceiling. “So many colors,” I mumbled, reaching my hand up to try and touch it.

I felt great. Why hadn’t I done this a week ago, when…THAT happened? I giggled, playing with the fingers on my left hand, feeling absolutely fucking relaxed and…okay. I felt okay, whole.

But I knew it would only last for a few hours.

“Poor Mikey,” I sang, giggling at the foreign stuttering sound of my voice. “Didn’t know I was gonna use the money I borrowed to get hiiiiiighhh…”