The Other Stark

Compromised

I looked out my window, I can see the SHIELD DC location from my lab. Steve is suppose to come back today. At lease this mission only went on for 36 hours, even if it feels like the length of the mission doesn't effect anything. I should see him tonight after his debriefing. During my lunch hour he stopped by with a brown lunch bag but he didn't seem so well, he just held me close right before I had to go back to lab. Maybe he missed me? I think he left my lab and went to the Captain America exhibition he doesn't know that I know but he goes there to see the video of Buck... And Peggy. When he moved out to D.C. he started visiting her and I really don't think he stopped. I was almost jealous in a way. I really don't know if he will ever love me like he loves Peggy. How am I suppose to go forward in my life with a man stuck in his past?

I go there too sometimes. I stopped by on my way home. I look and Peggy and compare myself. There is no way I can replace that. She was strong and even with my physical strength I lack in other departments, still not able to get Loki out of my mind.
I was so tired and stressed that I took a nap. Maybe when I wake up Steve will actually start to care if we are happy or not, maybe that is why he stopped for lunch. Maybe he misses me like how I miss him.

Steve's old folks music woke me up in the middle of the night, then Nick Fury did. I sat in the living room patching him up, disappointed it wasn't Steve while we waited for Steve. Nick told Steve, "my wife kicked me out" and showed him a phone that said shield compromised. Then bullets flew out of no where and hit Nick. He gave Steve a flash drive and I hid behind a pole as the nurse from down the hall burst in saying she was an agent, of course she was, while she called in an EMT. Steve went to pursue the shooter but I stayed with Nick, worried about this person I thought I knew. Steve is a moron sometimes. Just told not to trust anyone and he leaves Nick with a stranger. I stayed by his side even behind a glass when Nick was in surgery. Natasha and Steve were with me in that room as we watched. They were with me when I watched Nick  Fury die. Steve followed me out to the hall and pulled me into a hug as I cried. I didn't go with him and Natasha as they looked over the body. Maria Hall hugged me and went in to take his body. I just couldn't bring myself in to see a dead Nick Fury. Natasha stormed out of the room after Maria entered and Steve followed her. "Why was Nick in your apartment?" Then a random guy told Steve that SHIELD needed him back.

I just wanted to leave. We were told not to trust anyone and yet here we are. He man looked at me and pointed, "She doesn't have authorization to be here." Steve grabbed my wrist, indicating that he wasn't leaving me and just said, "Sorry her and Nick were close. I can take her outside." I really didn't want him to leave me. I wanted us to leave together. Natasha stormed off and he began walking with the man. Right before he left me Steve told me, "Go to NYC visit your father he will keep you safe." That was the final straw. At that point I realized that I was leaving Steve. I can't not be in a team with a boyfriend. I couldn't go to the now bullet ridden apartment, so I went to my lab. I may or may not have some...items stored there. I don't know what kind of battle this is but I can't just put on my suit and fly into battle. I will be damned tho if Steve tries to bully me out of it. Ever since New York I have grown stronger, picked up things like shooting.  Once someone is in your head you never want to be that vulnerable again. I will never be weak again. I can be like Peggy. I even pulled out a new set of clothes. Some jeans. A black tank and a sweatshirt with aviators and sneakers. Where to start, where to start. I whispered to myself, "come on Toni, use that Stark brain of yours" I went down to the SHIELD  building and snuck into a basic computer to get into the WiFi. I remember Natasha once talking about a slug that she got. She said it was from the winter solder. A ghost story like that is the only way someone can be so powerful to take down SHIELD. SHIELD was here to take down Hydra.

Getting those files room longer than expected but soon I had everything I could ever want. Just like I was never even there. I know where I need to go New Jersey. There should be some old SHIELD files there in the base where it all began. I need everything from the last fifty years. I stole a Tahoe, would of stolen a Bentley or something but you know hiding and everything. I looked through all the buildings it felt like until I went into one and saw a photo of my grandpa. I must of stared at it for five minutes until I hear footsteps, as I turned a fucking shield got thrown at me I ducked and went to pull my gun. Fuck. Only to see Natasha and an angry Steve looking right at me. That was the first time I ever herd Steve cuss, "What the hell Toni why are you not in New York." I could see his face getting red. How about I see how red it can get. I turned around looking at the great Howard Stark, remembering who I am. "I think you forgot that I don't work for you." He grabbed my arms and sternly let out an, "No, but we are a team. In case you didn't know teammates listen and protect each other." I let out a quick "Ha oh that's what we are. I'm sorry Steve I was confused. See I assumed that you are my boss and I stay out of your way making sandwichs. Only you can date someone as smart as me and not even use it. I have been here for at least two hours. See Steve I'm making sure this winter solider guy at least doesn't make it to my dad. That's how you protect people, not by just sending them off like my father did. I get it we should break up but guess what. I don't care about that now. You can work with me or not  I don't care."