Unthinkable

Unthinkable ~ Chapter 17

"My weekend sucked." 

Those were the first words that came out of Jaco Clay's mouth as he slumped beside me with a tray of whatever it is they try to serve as edible meals at our high school in his hands. It had been about a month since the fateful day Maybelle met Damien, and the day that much of my world, salvaged together with duct tape and staples, had crumbled apart. It had been one month of speaking no more than two words per interaction with Damien, despite being able to somewhat forgive him in my mind. I still hadn't mustered up the courage to finally speak to him, for real, more than just the superficial "good morning" and "goodbyes" that we had been sharing for the past four weeks.

I watched Jaco intently as he picked at the lumpy pieces of mush on his cardboard tray. 

"Yeah?" I asked with concern. He shrugged and I smiled at him for a split second. It faded right away, though, and his arched eyebrow at my expression prompted me to speak up a little.  "Yeah, my whole month's been pretty rough."

"Now, it makes sense. You ain't laughed at any of my hilarious jokes lately." I rolled my eyes at him. 

"You wanna let it out?" He asked before shoving a forkful of the grey matter into his mouth, only to chuck it back up into the napkin beside his tray. If it were any other day, I would've laughed, but it was taking a lot of energy just to keep up a smile every once and a while, so I didn't react.

"I'd rather not."

"Aw, come on, girl. Open up." He propped his elbow against the lunch table and smirked at me. "Bet it ain't as bad as my weekend was."

I raised my own eyebrow. Had it been Kania, I would've been surprised at such a remark and would've let the subject go or asked her to spill the events of the weekend. But this was Jaco. And letting one of his snarky remarks go without a response would've killed me. "I highly doubt that."

He puffed out his chest. "I had to give my dog away. His name was Jupiter. It was real sad." 

I scoffed. "Oh, I think I got you beat."

"He was a golden retriever."

I crossed my arms. "I found out that my brother was partly responsible for my friend's disability and that he never went to visit her afterwards despite the fact that she could've died cause of him." I was surprised at myself for saying all of that with such nonchalance. I felt embarrassed, but the defeated look on Jaco's face made it almost worth it. Almost.

He stared at me for a minute with a raised eyebrow, then dropped his fork in defeat. "Well, shit. You win."

The corner of my lips curled slightly. "Sorry about your dog, though." I couldn't believe I had so effortlessly opened up to Jaco like that. It had only been a couple of months since we had first met, but somehow I didn't clam up when I was near him. I didn't feel the need to shut off completely and build up a wall. Somehow, I realized, he was the first real friend I had made since Maybelle and the accident.  A real friend that isn't just Kania and her arsenal of chocolates. 

A real friend that I had made on my own. Maybe I am making progress after all.

"It's okay," he replied, waving his hand dismissively. "He's probably better off this way. Sorry about all of that."

I fiddled with my fingers under the table. "Thanks."

He watched my fingers intertwine in an anxious rhythm, and slowly put hand over it to stop them. I looked up quickly and he smiled. "So what your aunt say?"

"Jade?" I asked, pulling my hands from under the table and shoving them into my pockets quickly. "I haven't talked to her in a while. I haven't talked to anyone recently other than you and Kania."