Fashionably Late (Ronnie Radke)

Chapter 2: My Heroes

Now, normally when I'm at home I like to listen to bands that help me. I also like to imagine what it would be like to meet them and to tell them how much they mean to me. I was always scared of meeting my favorite band, Falling in Reverse, because I was scared of what they might be like. The vision I have in my head could be totally different than what it actually is. They could be total jerks and my heart would be broken. It's not like that would be the first time it's been broken.

Sophomore year. Parker Bates. Parker was one of those naturally cute human beings. Like you know the kind that's only in fairytales and Hallmark Christmas movies? Yeah, that was him. Every girl had a crush on him. Even me. I knew it was never going to happen so i don't know why i pursued him. I had always been the laugh of the class. The stupid one. The one with no friends. I told my best friend at the time how I liked him. How I swooned every time he smiled. How I wished he would just notice me. She liked him too. Which wasn't good. Isn't there some kind of code that says you can't like the same person as your best friend? Well, if there isn't, there should be one. One day when I walked into class, Parker Bates asked me out. I couldn't believe it and even though I knew it wasn't real, I said yes. We went on two dates and on the third date, he brought all of his friends and they said how it was a joke. They said how Parker would never date me and that I'm crazy for thinking that he would. It turns out that my "best friend" set the whole thing up. I got my heart broken by two people that day...

Meeting my favorite band would turn my whole life around. I've been on this path of self-destruction for almost three years and they're the ones who get me through the days. I've dealt with self-harm, bulimia, and depression for three years and I rely on multiple pills to get me by. Without Falling in Reverse, I don't know where I'd be. Probably six feet under.

No one has ever understood how much Falling in Reverse means to me. And they never will. My love for them is greater than I could ever imagine. I get butterflies when I hear Ronnie Radke's voice ringing through my headphones. Even on the worst days, he somehow helps me, without even being with me. If only I could tell him that. If only I could tell them how much they mean to me and tell them how they saved me from myself. I wouldn't be standing here if it wasn't for them. They mean the world to me and nothing can ever change that.

But, I have to live my life as just another ordinary fan, who probably has no chance of ever being able to say that she held her hero in her arms and said, "I love you."