Insecure

Chapter 25

Ms. Jackson, Jayce's mom, was sitting in her living room, sitting on her couch with a can of soda in one hand and a hand holding the book she was reading in her lap. She had her long dark hair pulled up in a bun and dark glasses on the bridge of her nose. There was a sound of a doorbell, indicating someone was at the door. She sighed, getting up. When she got to the door, she could already tell who it was.
She opened the door just enough to fit her body through. "What do you want?"
He looked at her in amusement, looking at the pencil in her hair. He pointed and said, "Is that new?"
She rolled her eyes. "What do you want?"
"Can I come in?"
"What for? If Jayce doesn't want to see you, so neither do I."
"C'mon, how many times do I have to say I'm sorry?"
She stepped outside, closing the door firmly behind her. He looked at her and saw her in sweatpants, pink tank top and black socks on her feet. She faced him and said, "How about this then? Let's trade places----"
"Do you want me to stand there?" he asked, pointing to where she was.
She just glared at him. She turned, opened the door and pulled him inside with her. After she closed the door, he grinned and said, "You know, the last time you did that, you ended up pregnant."
"Do you want to talk, or do you want punched so hard you can't remember your momma's name?"
"Okay, okay. Just because you're mad that you can't get pregnant again doesn't mean----"
"Like I would want you---"
"Oh, you do," he said, smirking and running his hand through his shaggy brown hair which lead to his slightly muscular body.
"Your ego is bigger than your head."
"You would know."
"Will you be mature for one second of your poor miserable life?'
He stepped closer, grabbing her hand, saying, "We were so great together."
She pulled away and said, "You're right. Were."
"We can----"
"No, we can't. Don't you get it?" she exclaimed, starting to pace the floor. "You broke me! You left me to sleep around with hookers! I can never trust you----"
"I never should've left you."
"But, you did. You left me and Jayce----" she stopped pacing. "You left your son," she said in almost a whisper. "It's one thing to leave me, but him? He needed you. To teach him about cars, school, sports and girls which we all know you're good at."
He rolled his eyes. "Don't you get it? I had to do all that while you had fun. You didn't even call."
"I'm sorry."
She laughed. "You know," she started, staring at the ceiling. "When he started dating, I prayed to God that he would treat them with respect and not like a toy. Cheating and breaking girls hearts like his father---"
"Please---"
She lowered her gaze to him again. "I raised my baby right. Maybe it was good that you left... Who knows what shit you would've filled up his head with."
"Jenny, I would've taught him how to treat a girl. I mean, I chose you, didn't I?"
"Until you got bored," she said, tears streaming down her cheeks.
"That was seven years ago! I'm different now."
She shook her head. "How? How on earth can you be different?"
He gently grabbed her and said, "All that whoring around lasted a year----"
Wow, nothing can keep your attention. Not even sluts?"
"That's not it. I realized I was a dumbass for leaving. I had a beautiful family. I had a beautiful life! I shouldn't have threw it all away." He breathed. "I just know I need to get it back."
"You never called----"
"I was ashamed! I thought you moved on and Jayce would be better off----"
"Better off without a father?"
"I called you on his 15th birthday, but you told me to screw off. Don't you remember that? I could've been back in his life."
"I didn't want you back unless I knew you were back for good."
"What do you think I'm doing now?"
She was silent for a second before realizing their faces were just inches apart. "I can't trust you."
"It'll take time."
"I don't know."
"I made a mistake. Please, let me fix it."
"I can't let you hurt us again. I can't let you hurt my baby again." She had tears streaming down her face. "I can't be broken again."
"I won't. I swear." He lifted his hand to stroke her hair. "Please. I promise I won't let you down. I want you and Jayce back."
"This is your last chance. You better not blow it."
"It's all I'm asking for," he said, smiling and leaned in to kiss her. He let his hands travel down to her lower back, pulling her closer against him. With her arms wrapped around him and his arms around her, he said, " I won't screw up this time. I promise."
"You better not, but can I ask you something?"
"Shoot."
"Why now?"
"What?"
"Why do this when I look like a mess?" she laughed a little. "I feel hesitant letting you back in. It's worse that I look like this."
He looked at her, stroking her cheek with his thumb. "If you're mess, you're a hot mess."
She blushed and pushed him back. "Damn you for being so sweet."
"Well, I wasn't lying."
She sighed and pulled away from him. "I don't know about this."
"Know about what?"
"About you. Personally, I'm scared of you breaking my heart----"
"I----"
"What is Jayce going to say?" she wondered out loud.
That caused a painful silence. "He hates me, that's all I know. I need to patch things up, but he's not into it. I don't know what he's going to say. I would hope he would understand since you're his mother."
"Are you playing the sex card?"
"No, I'm just saying boys are attached to their mothers----"
"Maybe at first," she said, having a gloomy touch to her voice.
"At first?"
She looked up at him. "I don't know if he would be as angry if I was the one who left. I mean, I'm a woman for god's sake. I can't teach him any of that manly stuff."
"Jenny----"
She was looking down at the floor, sniffling. "I should've been the one who left."
"Don't do that to yourself."
"He's gonna hate me after this."
"After us or about-----"
"Don't bring that up, please. I can't bear to think about that right now. One thing at a time."
He rubbed her arm. "Everything is going to be okay. Don't trade places. Don't do that. I have to pay for this one, and I will do everything in my power to make this right again."
Nothing was said.